SUNJATA
i found hope in a hopeless home
found my father but i lost my soul
found my father but i lost my soul
Even without seeing it, her mask held up in the highest of parameters to prevent him from seeing underneath – he knows it has to be tearing her up inside. It’s only a fair assumption, given how much it tears him up too. It isn’t in the way of the heart – the very one that she refuses to look at held in his hand like a memento of a time that had been good once upon a time.
But there’s only so much past goodwill that can keep him bolstered these days. She would understand that out of everyone, he thinks, but it’s hard to look at something impartial when the motions of the heart are still there.
She still loves him. And he can’t love her. So it’s empty in the space that had once been so full for her, where each action had been about her. It’s almost like an echo, where he knows that it should be there, but no amount of digging around in the murky pit of his chest comes up with anything.
Her claws form and retreat against her skin on her sides, arms crossed like a shield she can wield so well. Her explanation feels like it’s missing half of what he means, so he steadies himself and focuses on her, giving her all of his attention even if the idea of it roars in his head with distaste. Jaw working slightly, temples flaring, he steadies himself with a breath.
“It has to be over.” He says, clamping his jaw shut immediately lest he confuse it with adding in all the extra shit he wants to say. She wanted clarity, the least he can give her is that, even if it means keeping the explanation buried in his chest. Maybe in the hollow of where his heart had been he can fill it with all the sentences that he’s sure will get left unsaid.
Though, this is what they had been good at. What he’d worked on so much over the years of their relationship. Communicating better, being more understanding, not letting his temper get the best of him when his words get jumbled and come out wrong. “I don’t want you to wait for me. I want you to live your life and be there for Flora and Enzo. And I hope that maybe one day you find someone better than me.” Someone that’s easier to swallow for her friends and family. Someone that doesn’t have all of the previous problems that he has that he thought he’d been better about, only to end up in the same place.
He fidgets for a moment, spinning the ring on his finger – his wedding ring – before the hand lifts to rake through his hair and suck in a steadying breath before it drops back to the box cradled between them. “I have too much baggage and.. I know we both have our faults, but I don't want to keep pretending that everything is fine and like I didn't hurt you numerous times before now. So I.. I want to end it here. I want to figure out the next steps on my own. I have to.” He doesn’t know if it makes sense to her, the way he’s trying to reinvent himself for his foundation, whether it be as the Heartless or not. “I’m sorry.” He says again, unsure if it’ll help the sting she probably feels, but one that doesn’t hit Sunjata quite the same without the heartbreak. Instead, without his heart, it’s a sea of anesthesia.
But there’s only so much past goodwill that can keep him bolstered these days. She would understand that out of everyone, he thinks, but it’s hard to look at something impartial when the motions of the heart are still there.
She still loves him. And he can’t love her. So it’s empty in the space that had once been so full for her, where each action had been about her. It’s almost like an echo, where he knows that it should be there, but no amount of digging around in the murky pit of his chest comes up with anything.
Her claws form and retreat against her skin on her sides, arms crossed like a shield she can wield so well. Her explanation feels like it’s missing half of what he means, so he steadies himself and focuses on her, giving her all of his attention even if the idea of it roars in his head with distaste. Jaw working slightly, temples flaring, he steadies himself with a breath.
“It has to be over.” He says, clamping his jaw shut immediately lest he confuse it with adding in all the extra shit he wants to say. She wanted clarity, the least he can give her is that, even if it means keeping the explanation buried in his chest. Maybe in the hollow of where his heart had been he can fill it with all the sentences that he’s sure will get left unsaid.
Though, this is what they had been good at. What he’d worked on so much over the years of their relationship. Communicating better, being more understanding, not letting his temper get the best of him when his words get jumbled and come out wrong. “I don’t want you to wait for me. I want you to live your life and be there for Flora and Enzo. And I hope that maybe one day you find someone better than me.” Someone that’s easier to swallow for her friends and family. Someone that doesn’t have all of the previous problems that he has that he thought he’d been better about, only to end up in the same place.
He fidgets for a moment, spinning the ring on his finger – his wedding ring – before the hand lifts to rake through his hair and suck in a steadying breath before it drops back to the box cradled between them. “I have too much baggage and.. I know we both have our faults, but I don't want to keep pretending that everything is fine and like I didn't hurt you numerous times before now. So I.. I want to end it here. I want to figure out the next steps on my own. I have to.” He doesn’t know if it makes sense to her, the way he’s trying to reinvent himself for his foundation, whether it be as the Heartless or not. “I’m sorry.” He says again, unsure if it’ll help the sting she probably feels, but one that doesn’t hit Sunjata quite the same without the heartbreak. Instead, without his heart, it’s a sea of anesthesia.
i tried to trace it, i aimed to scope
been tryna kill it, but it's all i know
been tryna kill it, but it's all i know
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
