maybe who we were then is shattered, but who we are in the end is what matters
His certainty breaks something final inside her. It's what she had asked him to do, to say, but a part of her - admittedly small, optimistic and desperate - had hoped for a different answer. It's not the first time he's shattered her heart; this time it's easier to stay standing, to hurt herself instead of him the way she once had. Isn't it her fault this time anyway? Her nails pierce deeper into her sides, but if blood is drawn she doesn't notice, and the rainsoaked darkness of her clothes don't display it. It still hurts less. Of course it does.
Fanciful words and his hopes for her mean nothing. Certainly less than nothing given he cannot feel any affection for her anymore. It's lip-service from a man with a mortal flaw of empathy and self-degradation; what is that worth to her when it's treatment any acquaintance would receive?
"So even if you do all this work, fix your heart, limp along rebuilding things alone - which definitely worked for you after the war, mind - we won't be trying again." Sardonic delivery cloaks the sting of vitriol, softening it as much as she can manage as her defenses crumble and crash inward, crushing her beneath them in the process. Sunjata is using every learned communication tactic - the least Hotaru can do is return the favor by abstaining from reactive, defensive violence. Retribution won't change any of this. It won't even hurt him given the dead void in his chest where she once lived.
The Valkyrie lifts her chin so that it has no chance to wobble. Not in front of him. Not anymore. If he looks at her with apathy now, then he is no better than a stranger, and she will not let him see her weakness. "I will respect your decision then, as it's not mine to make." Her nails dig deeper, enough that she will need to heal herself when they part, but it gives her an outlet for the storm inside her chest and the helplessness that fuels it.
She has to root her tongue to the roof of her mouth to stop herself from lashing out even so. Her throat spasms where it's hidden behind Andraste's wing, her bonded's childish, conflicted emotions only worsening her weak resolve. She wants to forbid him from seeing Flora, from playing at paternal relations he does not deserve anymore. Forbid him from ever channeling her, speaking to her, anything to feel like she has control over this situation.
But she doesn't. So she remains silent until the urge passes and she can breathe again.
"Good luck with your heart - whatever you decide to do with it." Maybe he'll never choose to heal it, keep himself safe from this in a way Hotaru can't. Just one more unfair element she can't control. "I will see you if Frey dictates a need for us both." Stiffly, she turns away and kneels at Mathair's shrine once more, adamant that he be the one to walk away. Hotaru won't let it be said that she was ever the one who did it. Not after the first time, long ago. She had learned her lesson - for all the good it's worth here and now.
Fanciful words and his hopes for her mean nothing. Certainly less than nothing given he cannot feel any affection for her anymore. It's lip-service from a man with a mortal flaw of empathy and self-degradation; what is that worth to her when it's treatment any acquaintance would receive?
"So even if you do all this work, fix your heart, limp along rebuilding things alone - which definitely worked for you after the war, mind - we won't be trying again." Sardonic delivery cloaks the sting of vitriol, softening it as much as she can manage as her defenses crumble and crash inward, crushing her beneath them in the process. Sunjata is using every learned communication tactic - the least Hotaru can do is return the favor by abstaining from reactive, defensive violence. Retribution won't change any of this. It won't even hurt him given the dead void in his chest where she once lived.
The Valkyrie lifts her chin so that it has no chance to wobble. Not in front of him. Not anymore. If he looks at her with apathy now, then he is no better than a stranger, and she will not let him see her weakness. "I will respect your decision then, as it's not mine to make." Her nails dig deeper, enough that she will need to heal herself when they part, but it gives her an outlet for the storm inside her chest and the helplessness that fuels it.
She has to root her tongue to the roof of her mouth to stop herself from lashing out even so. Her throat spasms where it's hidden behind Andraste's wing, her bonded's childish, conflicted emotions only worsening her weak resolve. She wants to forbid him from seeing Flora, from playing at paternal relations he does not deserve anymore. Forbid him from ever channeling her, speaking to her, anything to feel like she has control over this situation.
But she doesn't. So she remains silent until the urge passes and she can breathe again.
"Good luck with your heart - whatever you decide to do with it." Maybe he'll never choose to heal it, keep himself safe from this in a way Hotaru can't. Just one more unfair element she can't control. "I will see you if Frey dictates a need for us both." Stiffly, she turns away and kneels at Mathair's shrine once more, adamant that he be the one to walk away. Hotaru won't let it be said that she was ever the one who did it. Not after the first time, long ago. She had learned her lesson - for all the good it's worth here and now.
