Tired of searching for someone that I used to be
He doesn’t creep up, but the answer to the private conversation with herself is sudden and jolting enough that the chair threatens to upend her with the abrupt way she shifts in it. ”Sunjata!” It’s as much greeting as admonishment, and she’s immediately swallowing past a dry throat afterwards, her words suddenly spent.
Placing the cigarette in her mouth as a covenient excuse to buy a few seconds, for which he seems to do much the same as he busies lighting his, she settles back into the chair. No, that’s not quite right. Settled implies some degree of relaxation. Colt is perched, and though there’s no feathers that roll around her collar in moments like this, it doesn’t make her any less flighty.
”Thanks for coming,” she manages to get out with the smoke, eyes reaching for him across the table. She means it, because she wasn’t sure he’d show. Wouldn’t blame him, after how she’d left it, but even so there’s no apology braced behind her teeth. She’s grateful he helped in the ways he could that day, but the silence that’s stretched between them since has only helped solidify her mind. Maybe this would go differently if it hadn’t, hard to say, since this is where they ended up. She’d been wrong, in many ways, but that truth didn’t remove the other. She’d needed more than he’d been able, or maybe willing, to give. Maybe she always needed too much. Probably didn’t deserve it, but the scrape of its absence is still felt.
”The tea is for you,” she informs him with a tip of her head towards it. She’d have gotten him a coffee if she knew he liked them, but since she’s remembering the tea he provided last time they’d come together for work and figured that’s what he preferred. Just proof of how little she’s bothered to get to know him beyond the ways she’s needed him to serve her. Guess she did use people.
”I’m moving, Sunjata,” she tells him flatly, reaching for the warmth of her coffee to combat the chill that floods her at finally saying it with such totality.
Placing the cigarette in her mouth as a covenient excuse to buy a few seconds, for which he seems to do much the same as he busies lighting his, she settles back into the chair. No, that’s not quite right. Settled implies some degree of relaxation. Colt is perched, and though there’s no feathers that roll around her collar in moments like this, it doesn’t make her any less flighty.
”Thanks for coming,” she manages to get out with the smoke, eyes reaching for him across the table. She means it, because she wasn’t sure he’d show. Wouldn’t blame him, after how she’d left it, but even so there’s no apology braced behind her teeth. She’s grateful he helped in the ways he could that day, but the silence that’s stretched between them since has only helped solidify her mind. Maybe this would go differently if it hadn’t, hard to say, since this is where they ended up. She’d been wrong, in many ways, but that truth didn’t remove the other. She’d needed more than he’d been able, or maybe willing, to give. Maybe she always needed too much. Probably didn’t deserve it, but the scrape of its absence is still felt.
”The tea is for you,” she informs him with a tip of her head towards it. She’d have gotten him a coffee if she knew he liked them, but since she’s remembering the tea he provided last time they’d come together for work and figured that’s what he preferred. Just proof of how little she’s bothered to get to know him beyond the ways she’s needed him to serve her. Guess she did use people.
”I’m moving, Sunjata,” she tells him flatly, reaching for the warmth of her coffee to combat the chill that floods her at finally saying it with such totality.
Colt
Feels like I'm falling again but I'm already on my knees
Received a Gilded Market wig from Remi that resembles her usual hair and is enchanted to stay on better than most wigs | has a reverse centaur tattoo on her left hand with the legs going down her pointer and middle fingers that looks like this.
