Tired of searching for someone that I used to be
What’d been obvious to him had proven a surprise to her. She’s never been anywhere else, after all, not to live. That alone carries a terrifying reality to it, and what might seem simple to others, feels like she’s just stepped up to a cliff edge and reached out into the fog of the unknown. Her next stride could find footing, or could be further ruin. There’s something exciting to that.
Everything she’d ever had, all that she’d known, it’d been here. She had many reasons to stay, and she probably would have with some encouragement, or any tie that felt like it could hold the drift rising so fiercely in her. There’s no changing the loss, but she hadn’t realized the weight of the restraints to keep it; after wearing them so long, they’d blended in seamlessly with her skin. It could just be the way she’s had to shape the tragedy in order to survive it, frantically gathering all the little pieces of herself and pressing them back together, careless of the design.
The coffee does little to combat the cold that’s crept in on her sunshine. She would like to look away, but she doesn’t let herself stray further than the cut of his jaw, better kept now than last she’d had a house for them to stand in. She doesn’t pretend he’s better, not beyond being better at hiding it anyway. Same as she keeps trying to. ”I didn’t make the choice lightly,” she admits, feeling some need to defend against his easy acceptance, like his prediction is an attack about to land rather than the sullen acceptance of someone who’s done reaching out.
She’s had the explanation in her mind for a day now, worn smooth like a stone rolled repeatedly in water. Details to lay out for him, to prove she’s not reckless or foolish or spiteful, not this time. She hesitates though, wondering now if each reason she ticks off might not land like a cut rather than a dog-eared corner of her thoughts. Her fingers pull away from the coffee, one curling in her lap while the other offers her another drag.
”Couple days,” she answers, like it’s that simple. She fears it’s proving to be, when she seemed to want it otherwise. "I wanted to make sure I told you myself. You deserve that much." More, he deserves more, but she's grown thin on what she has to offer.
Everything she’d ever had, all that she’d known, it’d been here. She had many reasons to stay, and she probably would have with some encouragement, or any tie that felt like it could hold the drift rising so fiercely in her. There’s no changing the loss, but she hadn’t realized the weight of the restraints to keep it; after wearing them so long, they’d blended in seamlessly with her skin. It could just be the way she’s had to shape the tragedy in order to survive it, frantically gathering all the little pieces of herself and pressing them back together, careless of the design.
The coffee does little to combat the cold that’s crept in on her sunshine. She would like to look away, but she doesn’t let herself stray further than the cut of his jaw, better kept now than last she’d had a house for them to stand in. She doesn’t pretend he’s better, not beyond being better at hiding it anyway. Same as she keeps trying to. ”I didn’t make the choice lightly,” she admits, feeling some need to defend against his easy acceptance, like his prediction is an attack about to land rather than the sullen acceptance of someone who’s done reaching out.
She’s had the explanation in her mind for a day now, worn smooth like a stone rolled repeatedly in water. Details to lay out for him, to prove she’s not reckless or foolish or spiteful, not this time. She hesitates though, wondering now if each reason she ticks off might not land like a cut rather than a dog-eared corner of her thoughts. Her fingers pull away from the coffee, one curling in her lap while the other offers her another drag.
”Couple days,” she answers, like it’s that simple. She fears it’s proving to be, when she seemed to want it otherwise. "I wanted to make sure I told you myself. You deserve that much." More, he deserves more, but she's grown thin on what she has to offer.
Colt
Feels like I'm falling again but I'm already on my knees
Received a Gilded Market wig from Remi that resembles her usual hair and is enchanted to stay on better than most wigs | has a reverse centaur tattoo on her left hand with the legs going down her pointer and middle fingers that looks like this.
