Zavien
Her answer started out simple enough, earning her a continuous bob of his head, reminiscing of what it had felt like to be caught up in something more important than himself. But when the conversation shifted to her insecurities around 'failing' the city, Zavien immediately switched to soothing, his hand running warmth down her arm as he tried to dismiss her lingering guilt without minimizing those feelings. Softly, he whispered, "Nobody blames you for that. You shouldn't either." Tilting his head to lean a stubbled cheek against her hair, he added, "We wouldn't have ended up here without the good and the bad." And although he could do without the trauma and nightmares, he honestly wouldn't change anything because he couldn't, and he would much rather embrace the reality it had brought him.
As she continued, Zavien found it hard to hear of how much she'd struggled. He hadn't been there for her as much as he should have been, hadn't noticed how lost she'd been. While he'd been focused on Stormbreak as a whole, he'd neglected the one sitting right in front of him. His hold adjusted subconsciously, wishing he could make up for all the times he hadn't held her before and promise all the times he'd be there for her in the future.
He lapsed into silence for a moment, wondering where they both might find their next source of purpose when she flipped the question back on him. Zavien paused, uncertain how to describe what he'd been feeling for the last few months.
"Not exactly," he said, unsure 'missing' was the right word for it. His brows pinched down as he thought. "I just feel... awkward." He settled on the verbiage, huffing a breath of laughter at how odd it sounded. "I never wanted to lead, but it felt like I could help the most from the top. And just when I was starting to hit a stride - starting to believe I'd made the right decision and that the city could heal - " quieter, he shrugged his shoulders, "it all came to an end."
"After months of having people look to me and rely on me for guidance and decisions, to just fade into a nobody..." A loud sigh escaped, his head dropping back to look towards the ceiling. "I don't know. I feel like I've gone backwards, and I don't really know what to do with the skills I was starting to develop. I still had a lot to learn, but..." His voice faded, knowing that it didn't matter if he thought he'd been good at it. That period was over and he had to find something new to be good at.
As she continued, Zavien found it hard to hear of how much she'd struggled. He hadn't been there for her as much as he should have been, hadn't noticed how lost she'd been. While he'd been focused on Stormbreak as a whole, he'd neglected the one sitting right in front of him. His hold adjusted subconsciously, wishing he could make up for all the times he hadn't held her before and promise all the times he'd be there for her in the future.
He lapsed into silence for a moment, wondering where they both might find their next source of purpose when she flipped the question back on him. Zavien paused, uncertain how to describe what he'd been feeling for the last few months.
"Not exactly," he said, unsure 'missing' was the right word for it. His brows pinched down as he thought. "I just feel... awkward." He settled on the verbiage, huffing a breath of laughter at how odd it sounded. "I never wanted to lead, but it felt like I could help the most from the top. And just when I was starting to hit a stride - starting to believe I'd made the right decision and that the city could heal - " quieter, he shrugged his shoulders, "it all came to an end."
"After months of having people look to me and rely on me for guidance and decisions, to just fade into a nobody..." A loud sigh escaped, his head dropping back to look towards the ceiling. "I don't know. I feel like I've gone backwards, and I don't really know what to do with the skills I was starting to develop. I still had a lot to learn, but..." His voice faded, knowing that it didn't matter if he thought he'd been good at it. That period was over and he had to find something new to be good at.
If you don't like the road you're walking,
start paving another.
start paving another.
