Tired of searching for someone that I used to be
She nods, the movement slight and subtle, but a confirmation just the same. She doesn’t have room for more, already bracing for what she expects to come. A laugh, biting and belittling, or well wishes painted on over contempt. She pulls in another breath through the cigarette, letting the smoke gather in her chest for a while, using the wreath of it like something that could steady the inevitable collapse of this. Her head cocks faintly to the side, waiting for it to land.
Instead, she blinks, and her eyes find the strength to rise from the cut of his jaw back to the steel of his gaze. She exhales a steady stream of surprise, as much at him as herself. When had she begun to expect anything less than his mercy? ”That’s what I’m counting on,” she extends softly, smile weak around the shape of it, like a joke she’s trying to make but can’t quite finish. The work, the impossibility of it, that’s half the call. Something for her to get lost in, something with far less ghosts in it.
Maybe it’s the crack of relief still crawling through her, tight edges slackening too quickly, or maybe it’s facing the fact that she’s not the only one moving on, and that she can’t stretch wide enough to keep a boot at both the end and the start. Whatever does it, the result’s the same, tears welling quick and unexpected in her eyes. They spill over immediately, forcing her to drop her look from him fully for the first time as she ducks beneath the curve of her hat and swipes them away.
”Yeah, it’s all yours,” she manages to get out, shaky as her teeth drag over the risk of a broken breath. She pauses a moment to rebuild something close enough to composure to count, and forces her gaze back up, chin angling like gravity alone would keep the sadness down. ”Do whatever you want with it.” The land took it back from her before this conversation, so it didn’t really belong to her any more anyway. Maybe it’d always been borrowed.
Instead, she blinks, and her eyes find the strength to rise from the cut of his jaw back to the steel of his gaze. She exhales a steady stream of surprise, as much at him as herself. When had she begun to expect anything less than his mercy? ”That’s what I’m counting on,” she extends softly, smile weak around the shape of it, like a joke she’s trying to make but can’t quite finish. The work, the impossibility of it, that’s half the call. Something for her to get lost in, something with far less ghosts in it.
Maybe it’s the crack of relief still crawling through her, tight edges slackening too quickly, or maybe it’s facing the fact that she’s not the only one moving on, and that she can’t stretch wide enough to keep a boot at both the end and the start. Whatever does it, the result’s the same, tears welling quick and unexpected in her eyes. They spill over immediately, forcing her to drop her look from him fully for the first time as she ducks beneath the curve of her hat and swipes them away.
”Yeah, it’s all yours,” she manages to get out, shaky as her teeth drag over the risk of a broken breath. She pauses a moment to rebuild something close enough to composure to count, and forces her gaze back up, chin angling like gravity alone would keep the sadness down. ”Do whatever you want with it.” The land took it back from her before this conversation, so it didn’t really belong to her any more anyway. Maybe it’d always been borrowed.
Colt
Feels like I'm falling again but I'm already on my knees
Received a Gilded Market wig from Remi that resembles her usual hair and is enchanted to stay on better than most wigs | has a reverse centaur tattoo on her left hand with the legs going down her pointer and middle fingers that looks like this.
