If you could go back to yesterday
At Flora's tone - soft, confused, maybe even a little hurt - Soh frowned, her brows knitting together, folding in on herself slightly as though chastising herself for her thoughtlessness. She shouldn't have said anything. She should have just told Colt no and been done with it, and then this could be something that she and Flora would laugh about. She should have done so many things differently - anything to avoid seeing Flora look like that.
She shook her head. "I don't know what direction I'm looking for," she explained, voice soft and maybe a little lost. "I don't know if I'm looking for a direction at all." She leaned her head back against her chaise, huffing out a breath that could have been a sigh. How could she explain this? "I don't know if I want a council position at all, but I do know I don't want one just because you're my best friend. If I accepted one, and I don't know if I want to, I'd want it to be on merit." The crease on her brow deepened. She didn't want a handout, didn't want a bribe to stay in Torchline. And she knew Flora didn't mean it that way, but that's how it felt to Soh.
She squeezed Flora's hand. "I just don't want any special treatment," she said finally, biting her lip, staring at the ceiling as though she might find the answers written there. "I didn't tell Colt no because I was surprised, and because I didn't want to shut her down immediately or hurt her feelings. And besides that, I can't make a decision like that without talking it over with the people I care about." Flora, Zavien... she couldn't just uproot her life on a whim, not anymore.
Tilting her head, she forced herself to meet Flora's gaze, afraid of what she might see reflected in her friend's aqua eyes. "I'm not unhappy," she said softly. "On the contrary, I love my life. But I can't help but feeling I should be doing more. Maybe it's just... remnants of having so much responsibility for Stormbreak. Like I'm being lazy or selfish if I don't find some purpose to follow." Huffing a soft, sad laugh, she added, "I don't even know if I'm making sense, honestly."
She shook her head. "I don't know what direction I'm looking for," she explained, voice soft and maybe a little lost. "I don't know if I'm looking for a direction at all." She leaned her head back against her chaise, huffing out a breath that could have been a sigh. How could she explain this? "I don't know if I want a council position at all, but I do know I don't want one just because you're my best friend. If I accepted one, and I don't know if I want to, I'd want it to be on merit." The crease on her brow deepened. She didn't want a handout, didn't want a bribe to stay in Torchline. And she knew Flora didn't mean it that way, but that's how it felt to Soh.
She squeezed Flora's hand. "I just don't want any special treatment," she said finally, biting her lip, staring at the ceiling as though she might find the answers written there. "I didn't tell Colt no because I was surprised, and because I didn't want to shut her down immediately or hurt her feelings. And besides that, I can't make a decision like that without talking it over with the people I care about." Flora, Zavien... she couldn't just uproot her life on a whim, not anymore.
Tilting her head, she forced herself to meet Flora's gaze, afraid of what she might see reflected in her friend's aqua eyes. "I'm not unhappy," she said softly. "On the contrary, I love my life. But I can't help but feeling I should be doing more. Maybe it's just... remnants of having so much responsibility for Stormbreak. Like I'm being lazy or selfish if I don't find some purpose to follow." Huffing a soft, sad laugh, she added, "I don't even know if I'm making sense, honestly."
Would you change it all for me?
Minor powerplay allowed without permission.
Feel free to use force/magic on Sohalia.
Feel free to use force/magic on Sohalia.
