Zavien
Zavien's confusion twisted into a disapproving frown, his hands loosening their hold as she shook her head. "Why are you apologizing? At least you thought of contraceptives. It hadn't even crossed my mind." He supposed that was one of the privileges of being a man. They didn't have to think about that most of the time - even if Zavien was kicking himself now for his lapse in judgement. But for Soh to blame herself after admitting to taking precautions, he couldn't understand that.
Regardless, if there was blame to be had, it could easily be shared. There were two people in this relationship, and it took both as acting participants for this baby to be made.
As she folded into his arms, Zavien ignored the chiming nonsense of the squirrels outside. It was a good distraction for Sol, who had begun laps around them, uncertain about what was happening or why there were so many emotions flooding the bond. But like a dog with a whistle, he flew immediately to the window, growling at the squirrels to find some other place to be - his companion was busy having feelings.
Soh's joke wasn't enough to break the tension, but it was somewhat of a good sign. At least she wasn't panicking (outwardly). He took it as a reassurance, huffing a breath of disbelieving laughter alongside her, wondering how they missed all the signs, grateful to hear she was 'okay' if nothing else.
For a moment, he just held her, adjusting to the drastic tilt that had just unbalanced him. There were so many things to consider now, so many worries and questions and feelings that he didn't really know what to do with, especially since they hadn't talked about this, and he didn't know if being pregnant or having kids was something Soh had ever wanted or would ever want. For all he knew, this could be her worst nightmare coming to life, her body being hijacked and her world crumbling beneath her feet.
He prayed that wasn't the case, but her quiet admission did nothing to eliminate that possibility, a sharp pain stabbing into his heart when he looked into her eyes, needing to know, "What are you scared of?" Gods knew he was terrified, but that didn't matter when he was considering her predicament. He could (theoretically) walk away, but Soh had to carry this baby. She had to deal with the symptoms and the childbirth and every demanding moment after. Whatever he could do to lessen that burden, to assuage some of her fears or discomforts, Zavien would do them in a heartbeat, but to do so, he needed to know what scared her.
And if her worry was about him, he was quick to dismiss it, echoing her own words since it was easier to say what he wasn't feeling rather than the cyclone of emotions he was experiencing. "I'm not upset."
Taking a deep breath, he ran his hands down her arms, quietly confirming that the moment was real. "Kids were always a distant dream. I just didn't think..." That it would happen so soon. That it would happen before he had a chance to marry her. That they'd be anything but elated by the news.
Regardless, if there was blame to be had, it could easily be shared. There were two people in this relationship, and it took both as acting participants for this baby to be made.
As she folded into his arms, Zavien ignored the chiming nonsense of the squirrels outside. It was a good distraction for Sol, who had begun laps around them, uncertain about what was happening or why there were so many emotions flooding the bond. But like a dog with a whistle, he flew immediately to the window, growling at the squirrels to find some other place to be - his companion was busy having feelings.
Soh's joke wasn't enough to break the tension, but it was somewhat of a good sign. At least she wasn't panicking (outwardly). He took it as a reassurance, huffing a breath of disbelieving laughter alongside her, wondering how they missed all the signs, grateful to hear she was 'okay' if nothing else.
For a moment, he just held her, adjusting to the drastic tilt that had just unbalanced him. There were so many things to consider now, so many worries and questions and feelings that he didn't really know what to do with, especially since they hadn't talked about this, and he didn't know if being pregnant or having kids was something Soh had ever wanted or would ever want. For all he knew, this could be her worst nightmare coming to life, her body being hijacked and her world crumbling beneath her feet.
He prayed that wasn't the case, but her quiet admission did nothing to eliminate that possibility, a sharp pain stabbing into his heart when he looked into her eyes, needing to know, "What are you scared of?" Gods knew he was terrified, but that didn't matter when he was considering her predicament. He could (theoretically) walk away, but Soh had to carry this baby. She had to deal with the symptoms and the childbirth and every demanding moment after. Whatever he could do to lessen that burden, to assuage some of her fears or discomforts, Zavien would do them in a heartbeat, but to do so, he needed to know what scared her.
And if her worry was about him, he was quick to dismiss it, echoing her own words since it was easier to say what he wasn't feeling rather than the cyclone of emotions he was experiencing. "I'm not upset."
Taking a deep breath, he ran his hands down her arms, quietly confirming that the moment was real. "Kids were always a distant dream. I just didn't think..." That it would happen so soon. That it would happen before he had a chance to marry her. That they'd be anything but elated by the news.
I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.
