Your past and mine are parallel lines
Her fears washed over her, held at bay thus far only from the sheer force of willpower. It was easier to say things she wasn't afraid of than it was to determine what all did scare her, but she tried to quiet her racing thoughts enough to be able to share her feelings with Zavien. He deserved to know what she thought of all this.
Taking a shuddering breath, she exhaled slowly. "I'm scared of not being a good mother," she said, voicing the first thing to come to mind and working slowly outward from there. "I'm scared of what pregnancy and childbirth is actually going to be like, if I've already been having such a rough time." Right now, she'd only felt terrible, and it was hard to imagine getting through months of these symptoms. While they'd reassured her at the clinic that it often only lasted for part of the pregnancy, there was also actually giving birth to worry about - something that, in her distant visions of a future with children, she'd never once really stopped to consider but that now felt all too real.
And she was scared about Zavien - about his feelings, about his hopes and dreams, scared that he would stay with her - with them - out of a sense of obligation rather than an actual desire to have children. But that felt so ridiculous, when he'd been nothing but loving and supportive, and when his response now hadn't been negative. He might not be leaping for joy, but he was still here, still checking on her, still holding her tight. So instead of diving headfirst down a hole of worry that she had no reason to delve into, she said simply, "I'm scared for things with us to change." Because babies changed everything, or at least that was what people always said.
Hearing him say that kids had always been a distant dream had her relaxing somewhat, an almost imperceptible shift that had her heart rate steadying and her arms slipping up to wrap loosely around his neck. "Didn't think it would be now?" she finished for him, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, me either. But I did want them someday." After they'd had a chance to enjoy things being just them for a while. After living together, and after marriage, and after deciding they were ready. Just now, Soh felt like she was in limbo - she didn't have a house, she hadn't even finalized her plans to move, and now there was so much to do and what felt like so little time in which to do it.
But even so, as she settled more fully into the idea, as Zavien continued to hold her close, there was more than just fear, more than just an endless to-do list building in the back of her mind. There was a quiet joy, too, a fragile excitement that this was something that they got to share together. She wasn't upset. She was... happy. And, as it turned out, she could be happy and terrified and overwhelmed all at once.
Taking a shuddering breath, she exhaled slowly. "I'm scared of not being a good mother," she said, voicing the first thing to come to mind and working slowly outward from there. "I'm scared of what pregnancy and childbirth is actually going to be like, if I've already been having such a rough time." Right now, she'd only felt terrible, and it was hard to imagine getting through months of these symptoms. While they'd reassured her at the clinic that it often only lasted for part of the pregnancy, there was also actually giving birth to worry about - something that, in her distant visions of a future with children, she'd never once really stopped to consider but that now felt all too real.
And she was scared about Zavien - about his feelings, about his hopes and dreams, scared that he would stay with her - with them - out of a sense of obligation rather than an actual desire to have children. But that felt so ridiculous, when he'd been nothing but loving and supportive, and when his response now hadn't been negative. He might not be leaping for joy, but he was still here, still checking on her, still holding her tight. So instead of diving headfirst down a hole of worry that she had no reason to delve into, she said simply, "I'm scared for things with us to change." Because babies changed everything, or at least that was what people always said.
Hearing him say that kids had always been a distant dream had her relaxing somewhat, an almost imperceptible shift that had her heart rate steadying and her arms slipping up to wrap loosely around his neck. "Didn't think it would be now?" she finished for him, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, me either. But I did want them someday." After they'd had a chance to enjoy things being just them for a while. After living together, and after marriage, and after deciding they were ready. Just now, Soh felt like she was in limbo - she didn't have a house, she hadn't even finalized her plans to move, and now there was so much to do and what felt like so little time in which to do it.
But even so, as she settled more fully into the idea, as Zavien continued to hold her close, there was more than just fear, more than just an endless to-do list building in the back of her mind. There was a quiet joy, too, a fragile excitement that this was something that they got to share together. She wasn't upset. She was... happy. And, as it turned out, she could be happy and terrified and overwhelmed all at once.
Stars all aligned and they intertwined
Minor powerplay allowed without permission.
Feel free to use force/magic on Sohalia.
Feel free to use force/magic on Sohalia.
