Zavien
He knew her hand was against his face, knew from the way she stood and the faint echo of nerves that she was there comforting him, reassuring him that Kai was wrong; but it didn't make the words hurt any less. They cycled through his mind, a mantra of accusations that made him feel small and shameful, that cut so deep that he became numb to it. A chill settled heavy against his heart, aching in a way that only the cold did, biting and burning as it seared deeper than it was meant to reach.
Zavien pulled in a shaky breath, his eyes falling under the weight of it all. His voice was a quiet whisper, nothing more than a confirmation that he heard her, even if hearing didn't eliminate the hurt. "I know." He knew that no one would understand how much he loved Lena, and no one would be able to understand how he'd come to accept his love for Soh. And that truth felt lonely.
He went silent, an aching emptiness spreading where so much joy and happiness had been only moments before. It hurt, having someone think so little of him - someone he'd thought was a friend. It didn't matter that it wasn't true, didn't matter that he still mourned Lena, didn't matter that he knew Kai was an idiot. Kai had crossed a line. Whether he'd meant the words or not, Zavien wasn't sure he cared, but he found himself asking, wondering beyond reason if he'd ever really known the man. The question was flat, unfocused and held at arm's length as if the truth might hurt less from a distance. "Do you think his apology was genuine?" Was there even hope for someone like him? Or had Kai fooled him into thinking he was a young, reckless idiot in love instead of a cold-hearted bastard?
Zavien pulled in a shaky breath, his eyes falling under the weight of it all. His voice was a quiet whisper, nothing more than a confirmation that he heard her, even if hearing didn't eliminate the hurt. "I know." He knew that no one would understand how much he loved Lena, and no one would be able to understand how he'd come to accept his love for Soh. And that truth felt lonely.
He went silent, an aching emptiness spreading where so much joy and happiness had been only moments before. It hurt, having someone think so little of him - someone he'd thought was a friend. It didn't matter that it wasn't true, didn't matter that he still mourned Lena, didn't matter that he knew Kai was an idiot. Kai had crossed a line. Whether he'd meant the words or not, Zavien wasn't sure he cared, but he found himself asking, wondering beyond reason if he'd ever really known the man. The question was flat, unfocused and held at arm's length as if the truth might hurt less from a distance. "Do you think his apology was genuine?" Was there even hope for someone like him? Or had Kai fooled him into thinking he was a young, reckless idiot in love instead of a cold-hearted bastard?
I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.
