faded on a thread

SUNJATA

the flood

snow glistens on the ledge, whiskey on the bed
shake it out and light a cigarette

The sharp undertone has him imagining for a few moments that the conversation will end there, that he’s overstayed this part of the conversation. But as Niki tries again, it’s easier, more level headed, and perhaps the easiest way he finds to talk to Niki over awkward conversations. But it also helps because he’s fairly certain he’s learning a few things about him. That in the crevices of that handsomely dark mind and sharp, witty, dry humor that there’s a want to explore that side. “Maybe, but that’s on them isn’t it? It’s how you are. If they’re put off, they didn’t deserve to get that far, don’t you think?” He asks and maybe it was more of a rhetorical question because the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how much of a interest killer it would be if it was all you experienced.

And that’s sad in its own right, even as he keeps those thoughts expertly masked as he focuses on mixing the batter and adding ingredient after ingredient. He does glance over when he feels Niki’s bright blue gaze on him, a twitch of a smile on his face. “I didn’t say you would.” He points out, still stirring the pancake batter. “You haven’t gotten in my head yet.” He bounces his brows playfully. “But I meant more like.. work or expectation, I guess? When it’s mostly just been a coping mechanism for me.” Maybe that’s the first statement that will help Niki understand – that for him, sex was nearly always a way to forget about things for a little while.

miss me when you, you wish you weren't right
shake me all out if i'm wrong, for you, for you