to be lit up from within
vein by vein
Or else was perfectly fine with her, and she threw another snowball, aimed to hit the broad scope of his shoulders. The mercurial efforts were a spinning web in her mind, and she kept launching over different knots and entangling herself amidst new ones, to the point where she was caught in between indifference and annoyance. Even the vulnerable aspects she’d revealed didn’t seem to spur much of a revelation except repetition and then instant agreement – and she could feel her stomach churn and her chest ache at the suddenness. It’d be very easy to simply say forget it; another day she could test the expanse of her fears, but gods, she’d been so sick of standing amidst the world last season and being on guard every second. Bracing for impact. Waiting for some other synapse and loud crack and boom to pierce her skin and stop her heart. She didn’t know if she hated Sah or herself more.
Raising her chin in that seditious, revolutionary manner, she strived to appear haughty when all she wanted to do was tuck herself inward and maybe suggest something else. Cozy fires and homesteads and something where she wouldn’t have to push past deadly experiences and reliving her own weaknesses. But then she’d never get anywhere, and she knew that. Stubbornness held out over all the other blatant uncertainties, and the emboldened height of her jaw sought not to clench out of the eventuality. “Is there like, a good open space somewhere?”
to be the sun
MELITA
