relive who i've been at my worst,
every single night, looking for a distraction
every single night, looking for a distraction
The admission is met with a quiet contemplation, the slow understanding that flickers in his chest and gut at the idea that Niki hates that he’d seen them. Sunjata doesn’t look at him or the scars again, just quietly settles there and rests his head on his propped-up leg again. “I get why you talked about them like you did.” Back forever ago when they’d talked about scars – how Sunjata’s were badges of survival, how it was cultural for him to boast them with pride even if they came from the worst things that happened to him.
He thinks about trying to replace the anger and hurt for Niki with humor, but he’s still feeling too raw to make anything sound right in the mental confines of his head let alone getting his tongue to actually work the way he wants it to. So he chooses on bypassing it, like pretending it doesn’t exist is better for the both of them, because he can’t sit there and explain just how he doesn’t mind the scars – gods knew the Heartless was a walking slab of scar tissue at this point – but he figures it matters little when Niki very much does mind them being there.
“Yeah. The swim test and the trial.” He pauses, nibbling on his lower lip. “The manor was right after my trial. I was seventeen when I won it. Got shot in the leg and covered in mud and I was so cold and I didn’t really realize what I’d done until they dragged me in to get looked at.” He hesitates, not sure whether or not to dwell on the manor and all the blood again, but is quietly grateful for Niki’s follow up.
Sunjata hums low and quiet as he considers it, choosing to be blunt rather than anything else. “I hate it.” He hates the way he still feels like his father’s around to fuck with him. How he feels like he should act. How terrified he was to do anything of his own volition because he wasn’t allowed to have anything in his youth. “I hate how even though you know it’s wrong, it feels even worse to go against it.” It's a horribly vicious cycle.
He thinks about trying to replace the anger and hurt for Niki with humor, but he’s still feeling too raw to make anything sound right in the mental confines of his head let alone getting his tongue to actually work the way he wants it to. So he chooses on bypassing it, like pretending it doesn’t exist is better for the both of them, because he can’t sit there and explain just how he doesn’t mind the scars – gods knew the Heartless was a walking slab of scar tissue at this point – but he figures it matters little when Niki very much does mind them being there.
“Yeah. The swim test and the trial.” He pauses, nibbling on his lower lip. “The manor was right after my trial. I was seventeen when I won it. Got shot in the leg and covered in mud and I was so cold and I didn’t really realize what I’d done until they dragged me in to get looked at.” He hesitates, not sure whether or not to dwell on the manor and all the blood again, but is quietly grateful for Niki’s follow up.
Sunjata hums low and quiet as he considers it, choosing to be blunt rather than anything else. “I hate it.” He hates the way he still feels like his father’s around to fuck with him. How he feels like he should act. How terrified he was to do anything of his own volition because he wasn’t allowed to have anything in his youth. “I hate how even though you know it’s wrong, it feels even worse to go against it.” It's a horribly vicious cycle.
the flood
waiting for the sun to rise
pretty sight for some hollow eyes
pretty sight for some hollow eyes
totally sniped from odd ilu
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
