& whispered in the sound of silence (open)

Not knowing Kiada well enough to know precisely what it is that he sees glistening for just a moment beneath the all-too real soldier’s facade, he decides in that moment that he hopes one day to. That this woman lived among a fortress of mountains with Deimos as her king and Rexanna as her mother? It’s a world he can hardly imagine. But if the Sword is to be believed, perhaps one day he won’t have to; he’ll see it for himself. With a boyish shrug, bashful and awkward at her sympathy, Remi gives the warrior a sea-glass stare and silently considers for a moment. “I understand that.” He says eventually, biting at the inside of his lower lip as his eyes narrow. “In Northaven I...was not the man I am now. I created weapons, actually. Kept to myself. Could not love who I wanted to.” It was a different sort of survival to that which Kiada likely alluded to, but then again, perhaps not. Unable to help himself, especially given how often Loren has called him selfish as of late for speaking his mind and expressing his feelings, the alchemist wearily shakes his head, but there’s a dark grin there as well. “Honestly? I have no idea. Once I did not think so. Recently? I think maybe it is. But..maybe you are allowed to be selfish, then.” Glancing at Kiada, Remi shrugs helplessly. “Damned for being too much of what they want, but selfish for not being enough.” It was a bleak line of thinking for the once-sunny alchemist, but then again, that was the world he now found himself in. REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way