I laugh not to cry

Nate

"I gotta reputation t'uphold." Nate protested again, the words coming out in a staccato. "Can't have you goin' around calling me a lightweight." He snorted, and lifted a hand back to his face, pushing hair away from his forehead almost obsessively, holding it back in the end. His eyes pinched closed as he tried to parse what Adam was saying, draw the lines between normal and fantastical in his mind.

There was no way for him to argue with Adam's sense, but... that didn't mean he was right either. "Fantasy air... man, if I'm here, it stops being fantasy." It hadn't come with thought, but Nate knew the words were right, in some way. Not that it really mattered, in the end, but... he liked being argumentative, even weakly.

"If I tell you, it stops being a secret." Nate snorted. He wanted to brag, he really did, just out of habit, to bring back a little part of old traditions, where every word about his conquests was a lie. It was different with Sam, and he still wasn't quite comfortable enough to just... blurt things out, even in his state. That, and he wanted to keep his thoughts away from the ginger, lest he fall back into that tangled pit of worry and maybe love and whatever the fuck else he was feeling.

Instead, he leaned in, elbowing Adam in the side and grinning. "You lost him, huh?" But he grew more serious as the other man continued, Nate's head cocked as he looked at Adam, took his words in. "You sure its the honesty? That... doesn't really seem like your brand."

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have