cinders and smoke

remi The higher I climb the farther I fall when I do Remi hummed at this. He couldn't remember the conversation clearly, but it wouldn't have surprised him to know that he'd swamped Ronin's wishes with his own haste. "No. But that's always been...personal." He mumbled. 'Your worst was animal blood and living in the woods." Remi said a shade challengingly. "And it hadn't been your fault...it was an infection or a disease. Not.." Not the death of a child. Tears should have prickled Remi's eyes then. His heart should have lightened or stiffened or something. It should have done something, but it didn't. That it didn't was precisely the problem. Looking back at Ronin, Remi's head tilted ever so slightly to the side. "I don't feel anything anymore, Ronin." He admitted softly. "I'm afraid I won't ever again. Going with Ludo wouldn't have been a relief, it just seemed an easy way to end all of this. Even looking at you now.." Impossibly handsome, perfectly in love. "..Ludo offered to give me a purpose and my first thought was why. Why bother. Why anything, anymore." Pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them in an uncharacteristic posture of defeat and submission, Remi sighed heavily.