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The book of love is long and boring
Sam laughed at Loren's joke, dark as it was, finding it almost refreshing to have someone just joke back at him rather than rush to him with concern. It made him feel like Loren was someone that understood, that had been in that place too; only those that had felt the call of suicide could really know how to make fun of it.
That Loren didn't think he was handsome drew a confused look from Sam, but he didn't insist, already embarrassed enough. Still, he couldn't help but ask a further question, thinking Loren was being oddly modest. "Surely you have been desired, though. Even I have, even if I can't seem to keep it, or find it at the moment." He did not speak it, but he thought that surely Abasi must have wanted Loren: maybe that was what Loren had meant, that now the man was dead he was no longer wanted by anyone for more than his face.
How did he feel about it? "Embarrassed. I made a fool of myself. I just...want so badly for Nathaniel to understand how he hurt me, I thought...it's awful, really. Petty and immature. But I thought if I could be with the man he'd chosen over me, he might understand how I felt." Not daring to look Loren in the eyes in case he now considered Sam a scheming rat, he continued to stare up at the Spire. "I...suppose I probably got what I deserved, anyway, for that. Originally, I just wanted to be held for the night, which is an awfully sad thing to say."
That Loren didn't think he was handsome drew a confused look from Sam, but he didn't insist, already embarrassed enough. Still, he couldn't help but ask a further question, thinking Loren was being oddly modest. "Surely you have been desired, though. Even I have, even if I can't seem to keep it, or find it at the moment." He did not speak it, but he thought that surely Abasi must have wanted Loren: maybe that was what Loren had meant, that now the man was dead he was no longer wanted by anyone for more than his face.
How did he feel about it? "Embarrassed. I made a fool of myself. I just...want so badly for Nathaniel to understand how he hurt me, I thought...it's awful, really. Petty and immature. But I thought if I could be with the man he'd chosen over me, he might understand how I felt." Not daring to look Loren in the eyes in case he now considered Sam a scheming rat, he continued to stare up at the Spire. "I...suppose I probably got what I deserved, anyway, for that. Originally, I just wanted to be held for the night, which is an awfully sad thing to say."
No one can lift the damn thing
