thousand times I've fallen

KIADA you kneel and say your prayers with shaking hands and a mouth full of metal but the blood in your mouth tastes nothing It wasn’t her job to try and pretend as if she’s some sort of decider between life and death. But she’d led far too many people to their deaths to sit idly by while he knowingly went out to never return. She couldn’t let that happen, refused it even. And when she had taken her drastic measures, to ensure that he couldn’t slip out of her grip anymore, Kiada hadn’t expected her to be so successful. At least he wasn’t pissed at her for that, for the other pain she’d caused him. She takes a deep breath, staring down at him and seeing nothing in return, not knowing how to reach into him – not sure if he even wanted her there. After all, who was she to him? She wasn’t family, she was just a girl at the end of the day. A girl who cared far more than she frankly should for someone who was only here for a season. Her side throbs again and she swallows hard, her forearms buckling a small amount as she lowers herself toward him – trying to share some warmth to his cold, her hands moving to cover her face and rub at her temples, unsure where to go or what to do from here. nothing, like holy wine as it drips from your tongue during confession and your hail mary feels h o l l o w in the face of all that r e d