- NATE -
I don’t want a world
Without pain or loss
Without pain or loss
It's so easy to tell, from the way every touch is leaned into, the way the soft smile always returns, that he's being taken care of. That Sunjata is making an effort to be soft, to soothe over the jagged depths of emotion in Nate. And it works. Even the parts of him that want to balk can't, not under the soft onslaught of acceptance, of understanding. Maybe it's not normal, but pressed close like this, it feels safe, comfortable. Like it could be a new normal, like maybe, in time, he could get used to this.
And the attuned passes that first, critical test easily, bleeding some of the stress out of the ascended. His shoulders slump, and some of the intensity in his gaze gives way to a candle flame of warmth, weak and flickering, but present nonetheless. Nate's arm tightens around the other man's waist, his hand shifting to cradle the other man's head, instead of tugging at his hair. All motion in him stops though, as Sunjata shifts, readjusting himself, his hands. And he keeps still as Sunjata speaks, the flicker in his eye growing stronger and stronger, not leaving room for anything else. Slowly, so as to not disturb the other's rhythm, his hands move, coming to rest on Sunjata's shoulders. This isn't a test anymore, isn't anything more than an indulgence, one he sorely needs.
"Y'know... I've never actually... done this, before." It's a quiet admission, after the beat of silence, the long moment he spent trying to really absorb everything Sunjata had offered. "I went from uh, fling, to fling, to fling, and I never... I thought this might turn out like that." A low, rough huff of laughter leaves him, Nate's gaze drifting away almost guiltily. He'd always been quick to say I love you, but had never really meant it, not until now. "I could live without you, but I'd always be missing something." Maybe it's not as poetic, but there's a raw note in his voice, a kind of stark honesty he's never allowed himself. He'd never been the type of person to believe in fate, in meant to be, but Sunjata gives him a reason to believe, gives him something to choose, over and over and over. "You make me not want to fall apart, but I know you'll be there to pick me back up after."
And the attuned passes that first, critical test easily, bleeding some of the stress out of the ascended. His shoulders slump, and some of the intensity in his gaze gives way to a candle flame of warmth, weak and flickering, but present nonetheless. Nate's arm tightens around the other man's waist, his hand shifting to cradle the other man's head, instead of tugging at his hair. All motion in him stops though, as Sunjata shifts, readjusting himself, his hands. And he keeps still as Sunjata speaks, the flicker in his eye growing stronger and stronger, not leaving room for anything else. Slowly, so as to not disturb the other's rhythm, his hands move, coming to rest on Sunjata's shoulders. This isn't a test anymore, isn't anything more than an indulgence, one he sorely needs.
"Y'know... I've never actually... done this, before." It's a quiet admission, after the beat of silence, the long moment he spent trying to really absorb everything Sunjata had offered. "I went from uh, fling, to fling, to fling, and I never... I thought this might turn out like that." A low, rough huff of laughter leaves him, Nate's gaze drifting away almost guiltily. He'd always been quick to say I love you, but had never really meant it, not until now. "I could live without you, but I'd always be missing something." Maybe it's not as poetic, but there's a raw note in his voice, a kind of stark honesty he's never allowed himself. He'd never been the type of person to believe in fate, in meant to be, but Sunjata gives him a reason to believe, gives him something to choose, over and over and over. "You make me not want to fall apart, but I know you'll be there to pick me back up after."
I just want them
To mean something
To mean something
