The silence was uncomfortable. It gave Korbin too much time to spend with his own words, in suspense as he waited for Noah's response. Weaver would have hit him first, then force fed him, and then hugged him until he caved and spilled everything on his mind. Helped him pick it apart, pointed out all the bullshit, and shone a light on the pieces until he found a way forward.
But Weaver wasn't here. Others tried to do all those things. Attempts had been made, but it was never quite enough, because a fundamental key was missing. There was no trust. Not with Kiada, not with Chulane, or Delphine. Loren had been the closest to gaining it, but he wasn't here either.
That only left Noah. And his silence was more effective than any punches thrown by others. The question, when it came, was more painful than Korbin had thought it would be. Curling up on himself, he tried to ignore it, respond to silence with silence like before... But this time he was too worn down. Lack of food, sleep and a constant abuse of his own body had brought Korbin to a breaking point, and Noah's words ate past all defenses. If the venom wouldn't work, and the silence failed, then... then he was out of options.
Why did he do this to himself? To others? It was about more than the grief. Losing Weaver was a monumental disaster and he would never stop aching over her absence, but it was not the sole cause of his behaviour. It had started long before, and only got worse. Why?
"I- I just.. I don't know how to stop," he admitted, finally. Wished for something to hide behind but the pillow of his bed was the only thing he could find. It felt wholly insufficient. "She won't leave me alone. None of them. I say no but they don't listen. I can't... I'm not the person they seem to think. I can't give them... whatever they need."
What else could he do? If being nasty was the only way they would leave... It wasn't like he had anything else. There was no kindness left. No empathy, or care... He was empty, and granted no reprieve from intrusion to recharge.
But Weaver wasn't here. Others tried to do all those things. Attempts had been made, but it was never quite enough, because a fundamental key was missing. There was no trust. Not with Kiada, not with Chulane, or Delphine. Loren had been the closest to gaining it, but he wasn't here either.
That only left Noah. And his silence was more effective than any punches thrown by others. The question, when it came, was more painful than Korbin had thought it would be. Curling up on himself, he tried to ignore it, respond to silence with silence like before... But this time he was too worn down. Lack of food, sleep and a constant abuse of his own body had brought Korbin to a breaking point, and Noah's words ate past all defenses. If the venom wouldn't work, and the silence failed, then... then he was out of options.
Why did he do this to himself? To others? It was about more than the grief. Losing Weaver was a monumental disaster and he would never stop aching over her absence, but it was not the sole cause of his behaviour. It had started long before, and only got worse. Why?
"I- I just.. I don't know how to stop," he admitted, finally. Wished for something to hide behind but the pillow of his bed was the only thing he could find. It felt wholly insufficient. "She won't leave me alone. None of them. I say no but they don't listen. I can't... I'm not the person they seem to think. I can't give them... whatever they need."
What else could he do? If being nasty was the only way they would leave... It wasn't like he had anything else. There was no kindness left. No empathy, or care... He was empty, and granted no reprieve from intrusion to recharge.
In loving memory of when I gave a shit
KORBIN
HALE
HALE
