you'll breathe easier just knowing that the worst is all behind you
& the waves that tossed the raft all night have set you on dry land
& the waves that tossed the raft all night have set you on dry land
"Aw, c'mon- I happen t'know yer awful skilled with your mouth," you tease as she goes to sit and watch. Very well: you will have to do your best and impress her with your incredible skills of stuffing your gullet. Very sexy. An excellent choice.
You take a place at the table of competitors, raising your eyebrows to Vai before taking stock of the others. Now that you've committed you're beginning to think you may not be even close to drunk enough for this shit, but it's a bit too late to back out with your dignity intact. Not that your dignity will be intact when you're done here, or that you had much to begin with, but eh.
A fae comes and sets a plate containing five ears of corn on the table in front of you. The rules are simple: first one to choke down all their corn and raise both hands in the air is the winner.
Ding ding, motherfuckers.
You eat with a furious concentration, standing up for leverage or something? man who knows. All in all the whole thing takes less than two minutes (horrifying) and then you're raising your arms with a triumphant "WHOOP!", face and beard covered with corn debris and butter, perfectly aware that you'll be shitting kernels for a week.
You take a place at the table of competitors, raising your eyebrows to Vai before taking stock of the others. Now that you've committed you're beginning to think you may not be even close to drunk enough for this shit, but it's a bit too late to back out with your dignity intact. Not that your dignity will be intact when you're done here, or that you had much to begin with, but eh.
A fae comes and sets a plate containing five ears of corn on the table in front of you. The rules are simple: first one to choke down all their corn and raise both hands in the air is the winner.
Ding ding, motherfuckers.
You eat with a furious concentration, standing up for leverage or something? man who knows. All in all the whole thing takes less than two minutes (horrifying) and then you're raising your arms with a triumphant "WHOOP!", face and beard covered with corn debris and butter, perfectly aware that you'll be shitting kernels for a week.
zeph
