Rebuilding What Was Lost

That he hadn’t been alone was hard enough to stomach. In his mind he could clearly remember the cave in. Could remember whiling away the hours, waiting for the snow to gently reform at the top. It had been cold and boring and long, but certainly not the end of the world. Thinking back to it, it wasn’t as if there was just a man-sized hole in his remembering where he could easily slot Sam into. Not as if— —our first kiss. Remi’s fingers dropped his teacup as he inhaled sharply. Feeling the hot liquid against his stomach and lap was slightly painful, but nothing compared to the ricochet of fear that echoed through his entire body. our first kiss “Ah, sorry—“ He mumbled, his politeness automatic despite the way it felt as if his world was crashing down. All the colour drained from his face as he reached down to try and pick up the pieces of the now shattered tea-cup. “I ...can fix it.” He added, pale stare wide as his trembling hands collected the pieces. Sam’s reassurance that he wasn’t lying meant nothing. It wasn’t that he thought he was, more that his mind simply couldn’t believe it was true. Remi had spent a lifetime fighting against his urges and secret desires. To find out now that he’d suddenly given in to them, that he’d actually kissed a man, but that he couldn’t remember? His breathing quickened as he clenched his fingers slightly before gathering up the remaining pieces. —our first kiss. REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love