Rebuilding What Was Lost

Remi felt himself shiver slightly, and he gently wrapped his fingers around his arms to smooth away the goosebumps. He wanted to feel happy, to know that he'd apparently found someone, had been able to be himself and presumably to be happy, but all he actually felt was a cold sense of dread. Like someone else had stolen the most precious times of his life and lived them. Only that person was him, and it was his own stupidity that had gotten them removed. "No, no of course it does not." He said immediately, looking towards Sam with a flickering and uncertain pale sea-glass green stare. "Curse?" He asked with a slightly avian tilt of his head. As Sam started to say the word love Remi could feel his stomach drop and he had to steel himself against visible moaning with surprise and anguish. Did this man actually love him? Had Remi felt it back? "I do not see why you would lie to me. It is ... surprising to hear." Remi said, swallowing uncertainly. Glancing over at Sam again, he knew he should do something. To take his hand, or pat his shoulder reassuringly, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It horrified him to know that very likely his hands had touched every inch of the freckled skin he was sure hide beneath the button-up shirt. But it felt like it was someone else who had done those things. The reset in his mind made the idea of just ... just reaching over to touch him feel impossible. REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love