Rebuilding What Was Lost

Loren. Right. He'd heard that name before, from Vai. But she hadn't elaborated. Gulping audibly, Remi leaned back in his chair, lips apart in shock. "So...there ... you said..." His mind raced. There had been Sam, and now this Loren, and if the bookmaker was to be believed (and Remi had no reason not to), he'd also been intimate with Ianto. "Three of you?" He gasped, feeling sick to his stomach. Three or a hundred, it compared little to what Sam said next. Inhaling a shaky breath, Remi's eyes wide, the alchemist shook his head. Bringing his fingers to his forehead, Remi leaned against them gently, feeling an overwhelming rush of uncertainty and horror at this new information. He'd been with more than one man. He'd loved someone. And he'd forgotten. "You—" Remi's fingers clenched and unclenched unconsciously as the alchemist scanned Sam's face. "I...I suppose I owe you a thank you for that." Running a hand through his curls, Remi sighed hopelessly. "Though perhaps I already said that." He added with a sad sigh. Like an animal who believed it was being tricked, Remi looked at the hand on the table. It seemed an impossible thing, to just reach over and take it. Inhaling shakily, Remi tried to reassure himself. He'd done this before, clearly. He'd ... he'd been with others. This wasn't new. Only it was. Or...it felt like it was. "I—" Remi said, dragging his eyes up from the hand on the table to Sam's pale stare. Trembling slightly the alchemist shook his head once, a wince of apology on his lips as he wrapped his arms even further around himself. "Did I love you as well?" Remi asked, suddenly, surprising even himself. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sam though, the fear of what the bookmaker would say in response almost too much to bear. REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love