new beginnings

There would be no dimming of whatever radiance it was that Remi had. No slow burn into eternity, no rationing of light. The alchemist would be as he always had right up until the day that he wasn't. On that day, his soul relieved of all its fuel, would grow dark and die. There would be no denouement, just a sudden collapse of all that he was. Nothing so grand as a stars implosion in on itself, just a complete cessation of all that he was. And it was coming, though you'd never know it. The mountains Remi carried were crushing him, and his light shone all the brighter for it. It was the only lie the alchemist could remember telling, other than the obfuscation of his sexuality, but it was one he told over and over again; I am alright, I do not need anything, I do not want to kiss you, I am fine, I will make it. As Remi's gaze refocused with the closing of the door and the dimming of the light from outside, he inhaled a breath seeing the burn-patterns still running up from beneath the collar of Rory's shirt and onto his jaw. The sound wasn't disgust or pity, more a sort of abject curiosity as his pale gaze wandered the new topography. Unbidden one of his hands raised as if to map the new landscape of his friend's with the pads of his fingers, but of course they stopped somewhere around Remi's shoulders falling thoughtfully back to his side with an air of embarrassment. Chuckling, Remi shook his head at Rory's lackluster answer. "I could ... remove those scars entirely if you like." He hummed almost bashfully, his eyes following slowly behind where Rory strolled through his aisles, feeling apprehensive and awkward and nervous to know that the hunter's keen too-blue stare was upon that which he'd made. Leaning apprehensively against one of the shelves until Rory had made a full rotation, the alchemist looked across at him behind a dangling veil of curls with an expression of quiet uncertainty. "Ah..well. Losing a good portion of your memories will do that I suppose." Remi said with his characteristic boyish casualness, the smile crookedly sweeping across his face one of reluctance but acceptance. Glancing around as if trying to see his shop for the first time, or through Rory's eyes, all the alchemist could see were the enumerable projects left to finish, to start, or to be thought of. With a wistful sort of half smile, he nodded, lashes fluttering as his gaze slipped lower. "I could stay here forever, just thinking and designing." He admitted with a sunny and buoyant chuckle. Яemi I'm holding on to all the pieces of my heart's debris, until it's time I'll pull it together and fix myself eventually & know it's mine