you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
Of course Sunjata knows. He’s been told how many times now? And yet Nate wanted to keep repeating it, felt like if he somehow said this is all fucked up enough times, it would fix itself. He certainly doesn’t know what else to do at this point. He knows what he wants to do, but drinking himself stupid wasn’t exactly an option, not only because of the ascension. It’s too much like his father, too much like simply resigning himself to a family he doesn’t really want.
Though, that’s where it’s very very different too. He wants Sunjata, wants his family, so much it hurts. So much he’s willing to hurt. Some utterly raw emotion burns in Nate’s gaze as his husbands name falls from his lips. It’s something only the attuned is allowed to see.
The rain lightens, a weak splash of sunlight colouring the day through a break in the clouds. Nate sighs, letting his head drop as he punches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed tightly. I know you didn’t. Sunjata could be many things, but he wasn’t cruel, not like this. Just... thoughtless, sometimes, easily manipulated if you knew a single thing about him.
Pemota’s horn pokes out of a window, hesitating a moment before the rest of her body follows, a lazy trail of electrified starlight wafting from her. She taps the attuned’s side with her horn then brushed up against him, somehow both firm and reluctant. Moving away before he has the chance to touch her, she drifts instead to press against her bonded s back, Nate trying fruitlessly to breathe in the calm she exudes.
It takes a long moment, but Nate finally gets back to work on the shutter, nailing in the last few boards. I don’t know what to do now. The admission quakes and shivers like a beaten dog, with no way of telling how it might react to anything. Setting the hammer down one final time, Nate chances a glance at Sunjata, his gaze distant and shuttered again. ”Help me with this?”
Though, that’s where it’s very very different too. He wants Sunjata, wants his family, so much it hurts. So much he’s willing to hurt. Some utterly raw emotion burns in Nate’s gaze as his husbands name falls from his lips. It’s something only the attuned is allowed to see.
The rain lightens, a weak splash of sunlight colouring the day through a break in the clouds. Nate sighs, letting his head drop as he punches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed tightly. I know you didn’t. Sunjata could be many things, but he wasn’t cruel, not like this. Just... thoughtless, sometimes, easily manipulated if you knew a single thing about him.
Pemota’s horn pokes out of a window, hesitating a moment before the rest of her body follows, a lazy trail of electrified starlight wafting from her. She taps the attuned’s side with her horn then brushed up against him, somehow both firm and reluctant. Moving away before he has the chance to touch her, she drifts instead to press against her bonded s back, Nate trying fruitlessly to breathe in the calm she exudes.
It takes a long moment, but Nate finally gets back to work on the shutter, nailing in the last few boards. I don’t know what to do now. The admission quakes and shivers like a beaten dog, with no way of telling how it might react to anything. Setting the hammer down one final time, Nate chances a glance at Sunjata, his gaze distant and shuttered again. ”Help me with this?”
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
