you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
This time, Nate really does stay silent for a long moment, really is unsure of what to say. He doesn’t want to pile onto the feeling that festers between them, but it pours out of him like grease, dribbling into the mix. ”I don’t...” He starts, voice strange itself out into a squeak as painful, terrified memories poke into the forefront of his mind. I don’t remember watching you fall. I just... you were there, and then you weren’t.
And it had been Hell. He’d been broken. A house with the door hanging off the hinges, standing and unobtrusive, but soiled in some fundamental way, some way that was obvious just to look at.
I won’t lose you like that again. Not if he can help it. Words are cheap, especially his, but Nate puts all of his belief into these ones. If he has to drag Sunjata out of this war, out of Safrin’s grasp he will. But... I was thinking, since... since you came back.
And it had been Hell. He’d been broken. A house with the door hanging off the hinges, standing and unobtrusive, but soiled in some fundamental way, some way that was obvious just to look at.
I won’t lose you like that again. Not if he can help it. Words are cheap, especially his, but Nate puts all of his belief into these ones. If he has to drag Sunjata out of this war, out of Safrin’s grasp he will. But... I was thinking, since... since you came back.
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
