you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
I wasn’t in any state to be seen. Theres a grim certainty in the words, even as Nate mental holds that part of him outside of himself. Another person, another life. Gods know it feels like it. Maybe it was... He doesn’t actually think the word better, but it still echoes out of him, a ripple of thought that he can’t exactly stop. Better didn’t mean good, but that doesn’t make it right either. A hand, who knows which one at this point, moves to squeeze Sunjata’s shoulders through the blanket, tight and comforting and grounding for the both of them.
He was thinking. Nothing good has ever come from it, but Nate isn’t going to let that stop him. Never has before. And this... this is serious, this is important, this is his future. Their future. I was thinking... I wanted to wait until things were perfect to do... family stuff, kids, and domestic nonsense, but I don’t think we get perfect. I think... if we wait until we’re ready, it’ll never come. So...
He was thinking. Nothing good has ever come from it, but Nate isn’t going to let that stop him. Never has before. And this... this is serious, this is important, this is his future. Their future. I was thinking... I wanted to wait until things were perfect to do... family stuff, kids, and domestic nonsense, but I don’t think we get perfect. I think... if we wait until we’re ready, it’ll never come. So...
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
