sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
"I should have." And therein lies the crux of his struggle, the fulcrum that he's poised upon. He should have known better, shouldn't have trusted so easily, shouldn't have thought he was untouchable, no matter how it felt. Shouldn't be putting Sunjata through this, shouldn't be like this. Nate lived his whole life without coming to this point, without being hurt like this, and in one action, one stupid, risky decision, everything he knows has come crashing down.
He could go on, he wants to, for what has to be the first time, he wants to talk until he has nothing left to say, wants to explain, in detail, every thought, every decision that's led to this point. He can't, won't talk to Sunjata's back though, so he has to hold his tongue, has to wait, and hope he gets the chance, hope things don't slip even further into shit.
Why would he get the chance?
Sunjata still isn't looking at him, even when he turns back. There must be something wrong, because all Nate can feel now is ice, a chip in his chest that blooms into something that overtakes his whole body. What is he supposed to say, how is he supposed to respond? Can't shut down, can't tap back into the anger, can't break down anymore. There's nothing left to fall. Even the deep well of automatic, meaningless words is gone. He has to say something though, doesn't he?
"Oh. I see."
He could go on, he wants to, for what has to be the first time, he wants to talk until he has nothing left to say, wants to explain, in detail, every thought, every decision that's led to this point. He can't, won't talk to Sunjata's back though, so he has to hold his tongue, has to wait, and hope he gets the chance, hope things don't slip even further into shit.
Why would he get the chance?
Sunjata still isn't looking at him, even when he turns back. There must be something wrong, because all Nate can feel now is ice, a chip in his chest that blooms into something that overtakes his whole body. What is he supposed to say, how is he supposed to respond? Can't shut down, can't tap back into the anger, can't break down anymore. There's nothing left to fall. Even the deep well of automatic, meaningless words is gone. He has to say something though, doesn't he?
"Oh. I see."
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
