[SE] it has to be so lonely to be the only one who's holy

Sohalia

Soh swallowed hard at the memories of Auden threatening to overwhelm her. Grief was funny like that. Only a moment before, she'd been fine - better than fine, even. Happy, excited, warm. But then it was like someone had poured ice down her spine. "Auden was native to Caido," she said. "But I think they had a lot of Outlander friends." She grew quiet as Jude talked, listening with compassion in her eyes. She wanted to reach out to touch his hand in solidarity, but she was too shy; instead, she said, "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine that anyone wouldn't want to be around you, but I do hope she's not hurt." She blushed a little as she said it, knowing that it was a silly thing to say to a near-perfect stranger. But Jude had been so kind to her, and seemed like such a genuine young man - how could anyone meet him and not want to sit with him a while longer?

"I... suppose I haven't really talked about it," she admitted. Only a little, with Tal, and that had been more to relay stories than to really talk about Auden and their death. "It's just - hard. I lost my parents when I was very young, so Auden was... well, they were really the only parent I remember. They were grumpy sometimes, but I knew they loved me anyway. It hasn't even been a year since they died. It was... some kind of illness. Nobody could really figure out what it was or how to stop it." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "All I could do was my best to take care of them, until..." She looked away, hiding tears welling up in her eyes, swallowing the lump that had appeared in her throat.

there's no life without you here