into the elegant haze

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

In truth, Soh hadn't expected Lena to have a task for her. Despite the woman's kindness, a part of Soh had, perhaps, thought it to be an act, like the Caretaker was humoring her and would be happier when the former Heart was no longer a part of her life. So when Lena offered her a task, Soh blinked with surprise, straightening where she sat, and nodded slowly in response. "I could go look," she agreed slowly. "I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to Stormbreak yet, but I can't just sit around doing nothing." If she did, she was sure she'd go mad - not to mention, plenty of people would think her even more inept than they already did if she were to simply rest and relax and stay out of harm's way.

And Lena was offering her a chance at redemption. If she was able to find one of these lilies, if she was able to make a dent in Starfall and the Family and the Void, then maybe it would be a step in the right direction towards healing the hurt she'd caused. But she'd need to know what she was looking for. "Rae's lilies - I've heard of them, but I haven't seen one. What do they look like?"

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// hope, is wonderfully messy //

Unaware of Sohalia’s expectations of her, Lena remained ever the same – stalwart and kind, lending her ear and warmth when and where she could. At the Luminary’s surprised expression, the fellow Attuned stayed comfortably neutral, giving her a small smile, pondering over the weight of circumstances and not shoving anymore upon the younger woman’s shoulders. “Understandable.” Most of them had been aiming for things to do, under the radar, rather than sit back and watch Stormbreak be guarded by the Family’s Reaper. Though, she had to wonder about ready to go back; if she were in the same situation, she wasn’t certain she would return until things had been cleared up. Until Dahlia had disappeared. So maybe she needed some clarity. “Is that what you want to do? Come back?” After everything she’d been through?

Saving her thoughts on the matter for now, she’d simply settle into the other inquiry. “They’re the only thing that grows there – so they’ll be noticeable. White, veined with turquoise and gold.”

Lena

// we must weather the potential of happiness //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

What Soh wanted was an enigma, unknown to even the former Heart. A large part of her felt like she should go back, that she should be at the forefront of any efforts to weaken the Family and retake Stormbreak from their grasp. But what she should do and what she wanted... well, she wasn't so sure that they were aligned anymore. Maybe what she really wanted was for someone else to take over, to be simply a faceless, nameless soldier in the war against the Family, content to take orders and contribute to someone else's victory.

"I'd like to be able to come home," Soh said slowly. "I had a life in Stormbreak. An apartment. A shop. Friends." She frowned, realizing not for the first time what all she had lost as a result of her disappearance. "Who knows how much of that is left now?" But did she want to come back and live a normal life, or contribute once more to Stormbreak's leadership? Of that, she wasn't yet sure.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// hope, is wonderfully messy //

The Caretaker remained quiet, thoughtful, and pensive as Sohalia unveiled what she craved; all base things, that she shouldn’t ever have to wonder if she deserved. A long breath extended from her, billowing out across the warm air like nothing, unsure and uncertain of how to tread these lanes and lines. On the one hand, Lena would gladly welcome the youth back into their world, just as she’d done here, and presumed many others would do the same. Even with other pending circumstances, especially an abduction, she figured most citizens would be understanding of the way everything had collapsed right in front of them – and then there were the other difficulties. Dahlia and the Family, for one; because what if they wanted to finish off the deed?

What if it would be another demonstration of their power? To show their region exactly what they could do?

So she started with the most simplistic. “I think you could have all of those things again.” Then she paused, wondering it out loud for herself and the Attuned. “Do you believe you’ll be safe?” The Dragoons could easily do their part, but if they were constantly guarding, thwarting…it was a mess, and Lena knew it. Maybe they could hide her out for a while…and though all these plots circumvented, they’d have to realize priorities and thresholds, realities and tangible things.

Lena

// we must weather the potential of happiness //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Maybe she was a little pitiful, a little self-deprecating, to want to return to such simple things, to assume that they would no longer be available to her. And she knew how sad she sounded, how ridiculous it was to crave them when the world was positively falling apart around them. So, too, did she know that returning to Stormbreak might be... less than ideal, at least until the Family was gone. If they would ever be gone. There were so many questions, so many unknowns, and she wasn't particularly inclined to go hunting for answers.

Was it so wrong to just want a return to the simple life she'd led before?

Maybe Lena was right, and Soh could have all of those things again, but could she have them in Stormbreak? That remained to be seen.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I don't want to create a problem by returning right away." So much could go wrong. She could be taken again, or killed. Aside from that, though, a fight could break out if the Dragoons came to her aid, and innocents could die. There was too much that could go wrong. She might visit, if she could find the courage, creep quietly into the city just to see for herself what it was like. But to return permanently? "Maybe for now... maybe I'll wait a little while. Just in case. Go look for the lilies, maybe do some mapping. Travel. Tell people that I'm alive."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// hope, is wonderfully messy //

Lena didn’t have the right answers for the younger woman. They’d been going on seasons of endless chicanery, duplicity, and striving to conduct treasonous actions underneath Dahlia’s nose. While the rest of the regions could orchestrate proper defenses, arms, and guards, Stormbreak’s citizens had resorted to secret meetings in gardens, chiseling their way underneath the Grotto, and streamlining back and forth to the Climb as if it was their second home. It’d become a very strange sense of normalcy – in that they could go about their daily lives as if nothing was amiss, in the midst of plotting out other movements. Standard simplicity had become a blend of habitual, routine circumstances, and then a rotation of subversion and sedition. Sanctuaries and shelters and sanctities had different looks now.

Her eyes went to the ground, wondering what she’d become in the middle of all of it too.

“I don’t think you’d be a problem,” she started, striving to find the right words. “But the possibility of you being hurt again…,” or worse – because of what Sohalia stood for. Lena wasn’t known for her willingness to take a risk either; unless one counted all the other acts of courage that had been enabled through a mixture of fear and determination, so the notions that the Luminary would want to jump back into Stormbreak alarmed.

The alternative sounded much better, and the Attuned nodded along. “That seems wise. It will give you a chance to recuperate too.” Taking a breath, and hoping the sagacity stuck somewhere in the brink, she intertwined her fingers together, storing the restlessness aside, stoking a warm smile instead. “And you must have quite a few friends who want to know you’re safe.”

Lena

// we must weather the potential of happiness //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

If Soh had known the lengths that Stormbreak's citizens were going to in their secret fight against the Void, she might have wondered how they had managed to keep it quiet. Were the Family truly unaware of their efforts, or did they just not care? Was their lack of intervention a sign that they were unworried by the city's silent movements against them?

But the city's movements were hidden behind a veil of normalcy, and since Soh had not been a part of the plotting, none of these concerns entered her mind. Only a drive to help, to search for the lilies that could prove to be their salvation, lingered in her thoughts as she began, for the first time, really, to plan out her next move.

She smiled slightly at Lena, nodding along as the woman suggested that she might spend her time recuperating, even as she explored. It might be nice, after all, to have no one and nothing relying on her for a period. Even if she one day returned to Stormbreak, she wasn't sure she wanted the crown and the responsibilities that came with it. And if she one day decided that she did, well... there was a lot of trust to be rebuilt before she could even think that far ahead.

"I'm here to see Flora and Hadama," she told Lena, thinking of her two friends. "And perhaps a few others, if I can find them. I... want to let them know I'm okay. To apologize for worrying them." And for everything that had led them here, even if it wasn't entirely her fault.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// hope, is wonderfully messy //

It could’ve been any combination; Lena half-wondered if Dahlia was aware of all their movements, and simply found it beneath her efforts to care. That it scarcely mattered. But gods it made a difference to her, to strive and try, rather than collapse and shrivel under the tyrannical power. To not be a willing participant in the council. To not support a regime hellbent on dominating their entire world.

Summoning another deep breath, poised in her calm composure while her mind fumed, she tilted her head, studying Sohalia again. “I think that’s a wonderful start.” So many had been worried about the younger woman, it would be nice that they’d have a semblance of peace that she was alive and whole. “Do you have a regular place to stay?” She imagined Flora and Hadama could be accommodating, or there was an inn nearby that she could situate and base herself out of it for a while – unless she wanted to simply traverse. It was a shame she couldn’t even go back to the Greatwood – not with that infestation as well.

Lena

// we must weather the potential of happiness //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Soh offered a tentative smile at Lena's praise, relaxing a bit beneath the summer sun. If the Caretaker could forgive her, if their reunion could be pleasant and filled with relief, then perhaps Soh would find her other friends to feel similarly. Maybe things weren't as bad as she had assumed. Maybe they didn't blame her the same way she blamed herself. And maybe they would understand where she'd been and why. Maybe it wasn't entirely her own fault after all. Especially if there was something she could do now to help, to contribute.

She thought back to a time when she'd had a second home here in Torchline, and her heart twisted painfully as she shook her head. "I was planning to stay in one of the inns. I haven't decided yet." But she would have somewhere, at least, that offered a roof over her head and fresh food to fill her belly. "I don't know how long I'll be here. Maybe just a few days." And then she could go where she pleased - well, almost. As long as she could avoid infection.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// hope, is wonderfully messy //

It was difficult to place blame upon Sohalia, at least for the Caretaker, based on everything she’d heard. If Remi couldn’t defeat Dahlia on his own, how would they have expected the Luminary? Or any of them? While the circumstances had opened a rift, the same could’ve been said for anyone occupying Stormbreak’s reign. Perhaps they’d targeted it for specific reasons, but Lena couldn’t begin to guess why.

Offering another gentle smile, and confirming the other Attuned had some semblance of a plan now, she nodded. “You can probably take as long as you need.” The Void, while they battled it in different ways, wasn’t going to be fully collapsed anytime soon; nor the Family and its Starfall contingent. “If you want, we can go to the Climb soon and investigate the springs again.” Give both something to strive and try for once more – rather than permitting that feeling of uselessness to permeate and pervade through. "When you feel ready and up to it."

Lena

// we must weather the potential of happiness //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Had there been something about her that had led to being targeted by the Family? Was it Stormbreak specifically that they had chosen, or was it just convenient that she was young, and naive, and inexperienced? Had she simply been the easiest leader to dispatch, or was there a deeper reason behind the Family's takeover of Stormbreak? Soh wished she knew, wished that there were answers to all the questions she had about her kidnapping and all that had happened before and after.

Despite Lena's insistence that she could take her time, there was a certain pressure that Soh felt to do something. She'd been absent for so long that she felt like she needed to make up for lost time - but saying so would do nothing for her, so she simply nodded and left it at that. "I think I'll take a few days here - see everyone, send some letters, that kind of thing. But then that would be nice!"

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// hope, is wonderfully messy //

Unaware that Sohalia was still brimming with that ‘need to do something’ pride, but understandable, given everything they’d strived to do in the here and now, Lena accepted the notions with another gentle smile. “All right. We can head over after you’ve had those days to rest up!” It’d give her some time to recuperate, reconnect, and anything else before they ventured onward, into springs and respite.

From there, they could chat about multitudes, before eventually, Lena would have to depart back to Stormbreak, mind heavy but heart eased by seeing her friend alive and well, if not slightly less than whole. That would come with time too.

[FIN]

Lena

// we must weather the potential of happiness //