so i’ll say words i don’t believe

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

Sohalia had yet to depart Halo after her recent excursion into the tundra. She wasn’t brave enough to wander beyond the Citadel walls, but neither was she ready to depart. Where was she going to go, anyway? Back to Torchline, where she felt like a burden more than anything? Home to Stormbreak, where the Family still ruled? After nearly dying at the hands of the Void Yeti, she wasn’t inclined to test the Family’s wrath. No, safer by far to stay away, even if it made her plans… difficult.

Not that she knew what to do with her plans anymore. If she couldn’t even hold her own against the yeti, how could she possibly hope to hold Stormbreak against Dahlia?

Soh stepped out of the inn where she was staying, pulling a warm knitted hat over her hair. Maybe she could find some way to be helpful here instead of moping in her room. And if she couldn’t be useful, then maybe just getting some fresh air would lift her spirits. She couldn’t bring herself to stay in her room for one more minute, not with Tarak clamoring for her to go do something. Anything to keep her from giving in to the depression that threatened beneath the surface.

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

// i came from a broken home, so look at all my broken bones
count me in, but count me out, i know what this is about //

Exhaustion weighs heavily on the Flood’s shoulders – between flying for hours to reach Halo’s shores, to ensuring that Zavien was alive again and safe and taken care of, to meeting Deimos to go over everything that had happened. He’d asked for a night at the Inn to try and recoup some of the loss of sleep, to try and reorient himself well enough before he returned back to King’s End.

He’s only just gone to get food, holding a cup of cocoa that steams from the hole in the lid as he returns toward the Inn, spotting a familiar blonde leaving the very same inn, with a companion all too familiar. “Soh?” Sunjata calls out to her – realizing she was also at the battle of the void yeti – solely based off of Zavien’s information because he’d explained Soh and Alys and Melita had decided to barge on in to take it on.

Which, it had worked, but at what cost?

the flood

// i'm the next, so get in line
just let me have my fucking time //

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

A familiar voice stopped Soh in her tracks, and she turned to see Sunjata approaching, holding a cup of something that steamed faintly. She realized suddenly that she hadn't eaten since before the battle, and her stomach growled angrily. She'd have to find something to eat before she could do anything of use.

"Jata, hey," she said, offering a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes before stepping forward to hug her friend. She might have adored Sunjata under normal circumstances, but right now? Right now she felt tired, and ashamed, and generally upset, and she wasn't sure she wanted to see anyone she knew until she had her head on straight.

Then again, she knew that Sunjata had been through some shit (oh, Soh, if only you know the half of it) in his life. So maybe, if anyone could understand... "You're far from home," she commented as she pulled away. "Everything okay?"

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

// i came from a broken home, so look at all my broken bones
count me in, but count me out, i know what this is about //

Not used to being so well received, even still, he’s surprised as she steps forward to embrace him – though he finds it quite easy to wind his arm around her and hug her back, trying to alleviate all of the emotions he can see written on her face plainly. The exhaustion, regret, shame. Gods, if he hadn’t related to that more often than he’d like to admit.

Before he has a chance to ask her if she’s okay, she asks him, and he could almost laugh to hear it leave her lips as she pulls away – though he remains close enough to her with his hand on her shoulder, offering some semblance of warmth and comfort for his friend. “I came when I heard what happened. I brought Zavien back and asked if I could stay for a night before heading back home to King’s End.” He explains, steel eyes studying her face behind a face who’s freckles have begun to vanish with these dark, dreary months.

“You look like you could use some food and a friend, though. You wanna grab something and we can talk about it?” He asks, extending the offer with a small warm smile that’s crooked due to the scar that bisects his cheek.

the flood

// i'm the next, so get in line
just let me have my fucking time //

Suddenly there is nothing but ice and wind all around you. Like being plunged into a whirlwind the air grows even more bitterly cold than it already was, and though you try and struggle against it, you feel your feet beginning to slip.

Before you know it there is a sudden SCHWAACK. Snow falls from the sky and you suddenly realize that there are two water elementals only a few meters ahead of you. They seem to be playing a game of…ice-ball-tag? Whatever it is they’re doing, it’s extremely dangerous.I’d…leave them to it, if I were you.

---

You’ve encountered a water elemental! This counts as a rare creature encounter for the purposes of levelling, but does not count as a Random Event for levelling or MP. There will be no further admin/re intervention. If you choose to follow this creature, you do so at your own risk, however, just having it in this thread is enough to satisfy your levelling requirements. You may not kill your rare creature without admin permission.

Water Elementals (Uncommon/mythical): Not much is known about these creatures other than that they appear during particularly nasty storms. With the ability to manipulate the water in the icy-landscape as well as that within your body, water elementals range from incredibly dim-witted to quite clever.

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

It was easier, after all, to ask how Sunjata was than to broach the topic of how Soh fared. After the yeti battle, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to examine her feelings too closely lest they threaten to overtake her entirely. She was surviving on numbness, having shoved her myriad emotions to the back of her mind and locking them away - or trying to, anyway, which was very nearly the same thing.

Still, she was just about to agree to find food when a gust of wind brought a gasp to her lips, the sudden, icy chill reverberating down her spine and causing her to stiffen. She was doused suddenly in a ball of snow, and she looked at Sunjata in dismay. It was cold enough in Halo for Soh not to wish to be any colder, and that snow was now trickling down the back of her shirt. Maybe if she just moved out of the way…

”Well, that was unfortunate,” she said as she moved from the path of whatever game the water elementals were playing. Her humor didn’t quite reach her eyes. ”Let’s find some food.”

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

// i came from a broken home, so look at all my broken bones
count me in, but count me out, i know what this is about //

Luckily for her, if someone knew how to survive after emptiness, Sunjata knew. He’s done it time and time again. And each time had been equally shattering yet he’d been resilient. He might not have been steadfast and strong in those times, but he’d survived. And he hopes that his friends could, too.

So his offer is made gently, open for her to decide whether she wants to take him up on it. But before she can get the answer out, snow falls around them and the sight of water elementals immediately throws him on guard. His jaw works, body immediately tense before he realizes they aren’t bothering anyone with their game of tag. At least not yet. Puffing out a sigh and throwing up a wave of water above them to blot the snow from reaching them as they turn away.

“Are you hungry for anything in particular?” He asks, before he flashes her a small sheepish smile, trying to offer some light. “I haven’t been to Halo in years, but, there used to be this place that made the best stew I think I’ve ever had.” He rattles off, unsure if that’s the kind of distraction she’s seeking, but hoping it might help.

the flood

// i'm the next, so get in line
just let me have my fucking time //

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

In the aftermath of the yeti battle, a little bit of normalcy was much appreciated, and Soh shot Sunjata a grateful smile for more than just the suggestion of a place to eat. ”Stew sounds lovely,” she agreed, then followed along as they made their way to the place in question. ”It’s really the perfect meal for somewhere this cold, isn’t it?” Talking about food was simple. Safe. A distraction from the mess that she’d made and the pain that she felt she’d caused.

As they walked, she watched Sunjata out of the corner of her eye. She knew enough of his history to know he’d been through some things, and even if she wasn’t aware of all of it, it was enough to think that maybe he could understand some of her current feelings. That maybe he could help. But frankly, she wasn’t sure where to even begin. Was it with her decision to come to Halo, the choice to walk out onto the tundra, the inevitable failure to help her friends against the yeti? Or did her failures go back further than that?

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

// i came from a broken home, so look at all my broken bones
count me in, but count me out, i know what this is about //

Glaring back at the elementals as they shift their trajectory toward the restaurant Sunjata has in mind, a place he hasn’t been to in years. His gaze flits back to Sohalia with a small smile tugging on his face, soft and gentle and lopsided from the scar. “Right? Keeps you warm for a while, at least.” Which was perfect in this place where the air hurt your face.

Which, speaking of, he tugs the scarf up a little higher, reaching the door of the restaurant in companionable silence, but before he opens the door he does glance at her curiously. “I’m gonna extend the offer again, but if you wanna talk while we eat, I’m here for you.” He says quietly, before he opens the door and lets her step in first, trailing in after and tugging down the scarf and draining the rest of his coffee to deposit in the bin as they step up to the counter to be guided to a booth.

The person manning the little restaurant is cheerful as they are happy, swanning over to guide them back to a quiet booth by themselves, next to a window where they can see the slopes of snow covering the rooftops of portions in the citadel further away.

the flood

// i'm the next, so get in line
just let me have my fucking time //

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

They arrived at the restaurant without much fanfare and were seated in a quiet booth near a window. Sohalia remained quiet until they were seated and their host had left, gazing out at the snow-covered rooftops of the Citadel around them. Under better circumstances, she might have quite enjoyed the view, admiring the way the sun glinted off the snow and highlighted the sharp edges of the roofline. But right now, it was just something to look at to avoid Sunjata’s gaze.

She stayed silent until their order was taken, and once they were alone in the relative privacy of their booth, she finally turned to him with a sigh. ”I don’t know where to start,” she admitted, fiddling with the hem of her shirt beneath the table, if only for something to do with her hands. ”I don’t think any of us knew what we were getting into - with the yeti, I mean. I just came to see if I could do anything. I didn’t think just walking on the tundra would trigger… that.”

She paused, biting her lip, as their host returned with drinks. Gripping a mug of hot tea in both hands and allowing herself to savor the warmth, Soh continued. ”I should have died.” She stared into the cup, eyes unseeing. ”It should have been me. I would have, probably, if Zavien hadn’t told me to run. I don’t really know how I managed to get away.” She paused again, working through it all in her head, eyes haunted as the flash of her blood on the snow replayed in her mind’s eye.

”How do I - live like this? I ran, and - maybe they were successful after I got away, but the cost - I just keep thinking, if I’d stayed, would it have made a difference?”

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

// i came from a broken home, so look at all my broken bones
count me in, but count me out, i know what this is about //

Easy silence, whether or not Sunjata knows Sohalia has heard him is another story with how quiet she’s become. He won’t press the issue, though, just in case she really doesn’t want to talk. Instead, he’s quiet and offers his own order out for the waiter before Sohalia does her own and he finds his gaze drifting out the window alongside hers before she begins to speak, almost taking him by surprise. And it takes a great deal of getting his emotions in order to not let his scars flash with light at the surprise of it.

His attention flits back to her, head tilting slightly as she begins to explain, nodding along and remaining silent until she’s done, giving her the chance to get it off her chest. And honestly? By the end of it? Sunjata finds himself frowning – because gods if he didn’t have times where he thought the same too. “In my experience, no.. It probably wouldn’t have.” He’d lost not only one, but two friends on a fateful journey here in Halo to take on a white dragon. And nothing they did would have changed that, lest he pick something else to chase after. It’s a regret he harbors still, swallowing down those thoughts before he continues. “Things might not have changed.. and then instead of Zavien it would’ve been the both of you. And I only had one feather, so… I would’ve had to have made a choice I’m really happy I didn’t have to.” Whether to save her or Zavien, and given the hypothetical? He doesn’t know what he would have done.

Either decision would’ve torn him up, though.

“I think it’s probably common knowledge now, but, during the last war I was on the Ascended’s side. I chose to be neutral, to make the refuge a safe haven to avoid the war.” He pauses, jaw feathering for a moment. “My husband was one of the Voice’s demigods. And I wasn’t there to fight in the Draig with everyone and he died.. and sometimes I think about what it could’ve been like had I fought for him. And it’s been years but I don’t think anything would’ve changed. I think.. instead of hearing about it, I would’ve had to see it.” He frowns and leans in toward her a little over the table as his accented voice drops. “And between us? I don’t think I would’ve been able to survive that.” He pauses, withdrawing a little to gaze back out the window. “I avoided Frey for months and when I could finally go to them without feeling as terrible as I had, I couldn’t be in their presence without a blindfold.” Because all he saw was Nate. All he saw was his soul mate he’d never get to see again. But he shakes his head and takes a slow inhale before he glances back to her. “There’s a lot of times in my life I shouldn’t have survived. But I did. And I think, despite all the suffering, it’s probably because there’s a… greater purpose, or something. And at the end of the day I have Frey. I’m theirs. They’re mine. And I survive and live for them.” His lightning scarred hand lifts, waving around in a small gesture while he speaks, but a dead indicator of another time he should’ve died.

He quiets down, letting his steel gaze flit back toward her as he tilts his head, his freckles quite faint on his face but his jaw is set, tightening the scar that bisects his cheek.

the flood

// i'm the next, so get in line
just let me have my fucking time //

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

Any surprise that Sunjata may have felt was missed by Sohalia, who was so caught up in her own emotions that she wouldn’t have seen it even if her friend hadn’t masked it. She did, however, catch the frown he leveled at her - not, she thought, because of her, per she, but because of the memories that came pouring from his mouth.

Someone had once told her that things happened for a reason, and perhaps it was true that she hadn’t died so that Sunjata could use his feather on Zavien rather than having to choose who to save. Regardless of her own guilt, she would have felt horrible had her actions put Sunjata in a position to have to make that decision - one that she could imagine would have haunted him, added to the list of things he wondered whether he could have done differently.

Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she could have changed things if only she’d been there instead of running. Perhaps the guilt and shame that had eaten at her ever since the battle would ease with time.

When Sunjata’s story turned to Frey, Soh tilted her head to the side, frowning in thought. She’d seen Frey a few times, and they had always been kind to her, but to have the kind of devotion required of their demigod was something that Soh didn’t quite understand yet. But dedication to something outside of herself - she thought of her friends, and she thought she understood some of what Sunjata was saying. She might not live for a god, but for the people she loved?

”I think I see what you mean,” she said finally, and even if her voice still held a hint of doubt, there was something that eased in her expression all the same. She paused, then: ”I guess it’s just a matter of what I do now, then. Since I did survive. I shouldn’t waste the chance, right?”

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

// i came from a broken home, so look at all my broken bones
count me in, but count me out, i know what this is about //

His point in general, is seen. Heard and understood. Because he didn't necessarily mean for her to turn to a god, but to those around her that she could live and thrive for. To grow stronger if she wanted to, to prevent history from repeating. So, as she explains further, a small smile tugs on the Flood’s scarred face, a short nod offered to her in response.

“Yeah.” He agrees, clearing his throat before his accented voice makes a reappearance. “We’ve all made mistakes. I definitely have. But that doesn’t mean it’ll stick forever, y’know?” He asks softly, turning his attention toward the rest of the group as the waiters mill around. “You lived, Soh. Sure, you might’ve ran, but you can make things right if what you think you did was wrong. Learn more, get stronger, don’t make the same “mistakes” again.” It’s what he’s done, or at least, tried to do.

The waiter returns with the stew in steaming bowls, sliding them to each of them along with the large soup spoons and he murmurs his thanks, before waiting to see her take a bite first.

the flood

// i'm the next, so get in line
just let me have my fucking time //

Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

Soh listened and processed, propping her head on one hand as she considered Sunjata’s words. There was nothing she could do to change the past, it was true; and though she regretted running, she would’ve regretted dying more. If she were dead, she wouldn’t be able to get stronger, or better, or do more next time, because there wouldn’t be a next time. If she had died, Tarak would be dead, too, and his death would have been on her head.

Her friends, she realized, would have had to mourn her, and she was glad - fiercely so - that they wouldn’t have to.

Suddenly feeling much better, even though she didn’t really have a clear path forward, she sat up a little straighter. ”Thanks, Jata,” she said warmly as their food arrived. ”I think I get it. I might not know exactly what to do now, but I have the chance to figure it out, and that… means something.” And so the rest of their meal could pass in companionable chatter, with the girl having found a way to live with herself, after all.

fin

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning