if I cross the line

NIKI

"Your guess is as good as mine." Niki smiles out from beneath his hood. "Luckily I think these are all just beets and carrots, so they came from the mud originally. Better than nothing, if they did fall out." It isn't as if they were any cleaner where they started. Still, he peeks across at the wagon driver (who has no interest in listening in on their conversation when he could be concentrating on getting the hell out of the woods) before glancing back towards Theea and settling back once more as best he can.

"It was character building," he says dryly, and the hint of amusement in his voice suggests that this is something he'd been told about the job rather than something he'd figured out on his own. "But I agree that I do prefer what I do now. You might see a few of my creations in the market stalls in the village. But if not, I can show you some, if you do want to help carry a few supplies back one day."

As for her father and her mother's search to revive him, Niki's brow furrows. "It has been done before," he says slowly. "From what I have heard. But it is no easy feat. One of your long lost uncles possesses the ability I believe, but only if the person has been gone for less than a day." Which, based on Theea's words, is absolutely not the case. "That is my understanding of Mort's halls though, yes." He smiles. "And there is always the Festival of Lights."

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

He is right, the goods back here all seemed to be of the mud-dwelling variety. And they can be washed. And it's not like roots can be bruised.

”’Character building’,” I scoff with a good-natured smile. ”Sounds like something right out of my dad’s mouth.” A particularly hard bump hurts my tailbone a little, and I wince, but still, this ride is worlds better than the walk. ”But I look forward to seeing your work. More than happy to help carry some supplies when you need, as long as I’m in the Greatwood.”

Thinking of my dad again, of what mom must be trying to do, my chest aches and I glance down at my hands. ”I know it's… possible. But it’s been three years.” I smile a tight smile, and I shrug. ”Sometimes I wish she could let him go.” She might be with me if she could, traveling to apologize to her family. ”I’ve actually never been to a Festival of Lights. At least, not one I can remember. I was very little the last time, and from what I understand, it didn’t go well.”

I give up on my hood, not just a sopping mess on my head, and I shove it back. My dark hair is already wet, and it almost feels nice just to let the air hit it instead of the wet blanket that was my jacket. ”What are they like? The festivals.” I’ve heard, but it seems to be different for every person I ask.

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain

NIKI

"Ah, was he also given the mandatory choice to become apprenticed to an undertaker?" Niki asks with a raise of his eyebrows, deadpan but for the amusement in the slight curl of his lips. "And thank you. I should be alright for today at least. I imagine both of our focus will be on getting out of the rain. On a dryer day, though, perhaps I will see you around the marketplace, and we can arrange something." Theea doesn't know it yet, but Niki will even pay her for the help to contribute towards her trip down to Torchline.

Three years has the boy wrinkling his nose sympathetically - you don't have to be able to count that high to know the odds are slim to none when it comes to getting someone back from Mort's halls after that amount of time - and he lets out a soft sigh. "In my experience, sometimes people need to have these missions to help them grieve. Perhaps this is her way of coping with his loss, for better or for worse."

Opting to leave his hood up if only to do his best to keep dry, he casts his mind back to the previous Leafchange as she asks about the festivals. "To be honest, it has been a long time since the Greatwood hosted anything, so it was my first Festival of Lights in a while. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, though. It took place on the banks of the Stone Symphony. There were market stalls with food and drink and a few games, and of course the lanterns strung up everywhere. The atmosphere was a warm one."

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

“Mandatory choice to become an assassin in his youth, but close enough,” I say, lips quirking into a smile, but I’m curious about the wording. “You were made to be their apprentice? Was there no other choice?” I’m suddenly sad for him—living a life you don’t want and didn’t get a choice in is a special kind of frustration, one I get. I know there are things I will never relate to about him—his leg, being an orphan, working with dead bodies for a living—but I can try to understand, I think.

I then nod, a little part of me wilting at the knowledge. A childish part of me wishes she could do it. Forteen-year-old me really hoped she could do it, and that wasn’t exactly all that long ago. “She doesn’t cope well with loss. And I think hearing about her mother, not being around when she died, made it too easy to break.” My brow furrows. “Sometimes I resent her for it.” I huff a big breath and flash an awkward sort of smile. “Sorry. I’m not good at keeping a lid on things.”

The topic of the festival is much lighter, albeit with some sadness. I’d like to see my father again, even if just for a moment. Or meet my grandmother. I only have one vague memory of her. “That sounds beautiful, and like fun. I think next Leafchange, I’ll go. I want to go to everything I’ve missed.” I swipe ran from my face and push my sopping hair back. “I’m not sure what lantern to make, but I’ll make one. Did you make one?”

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain

NIKI

Niki raises his eyebrows, curious. "An assassin? Shame I did not complete my apprenticeship - perhaps we might have had a working relationship." Because undertaker... and the bodies... and the assassinations... you get it. As for his own situation, he wrinkles his nose good-naturedly and waves her off. "There are limited options for someone with my physical disadvantages in a place dominated by trees," he says. "This was the best fit for me. I do not resent it." Though there is a lingering darkness in his eyes that he promptly blinks away.

Tilting his head to listen as Theea continues, Niki lets out a soft sigh and nods to her. "There is a fine line between taking care of ourselves and ensuring it does not harm those who depend on us," he agrees. "I am sorry, that things have been difficult. I suppose it is quite nice to have struck out on your own? Aside from the rain and getting lost of course."

Blinking up as the sky suddenly clears - if not from the rain, then because they are briefly out from under the canopy of Ludo's Woods - Niki treats it as a good omen for their lighter conversation. "I do not know if it will be hosted at the Greatwood this year, but that should not stop you from going," he agrees with a smile. "I did not make a lantern though, no. I may pay my respects, but there is no one I am close enough to that I would want to see again from Mort's halls."

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

I laugh at the thought of them working together—I honestly could see my parents liking someone like him. ”Hiding bodies for an assassin would be quite lucrative.”

Niki gives me the impression that while his apprenticeship was the best fit for him physically, it was perhaps only tolerated in other ways. I decide not to press—maybe another time. I’d like for there to be another time.

My smile becomes a little regretful. “I don’t mean to speak so poorly of her. She’s a good mom in a lot of ways.” Just in a lot of other ways, she wasn’t after dad died. I give him a shrug and a drawn smile. ”It’s been really liberating, being an adult. Getting to choose where I go, who I talk to, how to help. And... it’s lonely. Lonelier than I expected.”

As he goes on and the sky clears, even if only a little, my smile is more genuine. ”I’d like to go this year.” I reach my foot across the cart and nudge his foot. ”And even if it isn’t in the Greatwood, you should go!”

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain

NIKI

"I would not hide bodies, Theea," Niki says with that dry amusement lacing his words once again. "I would dispose of them respectfully, and occasionally in places where no one else would think to look." Whatever discretion is required, you understand. The smile on his face, at least, suggests that he's joking, though really, who knew what might have become of him had he finished his apprenticeship at the mortuary.

Nodding his understanding at her remarks about her mother, Niki gives a light shrug of his shoulders. "People have an annoying habit of being multi-faceted," he agrees. "If they were only one way, it would be easy to judge them, no?" Alas, not so much. "And I imagine most of the loneliness may be as a result of where you ended up. The village is busier every time I visit - you ought not to feel so isolated there."

Glancing out over the side of the cart to watch the world blur by, he's drawn back at the nudge to his foot and grins ruefully. "Perhaps," he says, with the air of a parent saying we'll see. "It depends on where it is hosted, I suppose."

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

My mouth quirks into a smile. “Ah, forgive my indiscretion,” I say with a knowing nod. I wonder what kind of relationships my parents ever had with people like him—the ones who run the behind-the-scenes show of death and loss. Niki seems kind, and I think that creating things probably suits him better than burying bodies, if she could be sure of such a thing.

“Yeah. As hard as she can be to deal with, she had great sides too.” I swipe more rain from my face, and it runs through my hair, down my neck. I don’t mind it now, despite its chill. I’ll find a place to dry off and warm up in town. “I’ve always been with someone, too. We were always close, stuck by each other.”

I tilt my head a little at him. “It’d be cool to see you there. Maybe helping someone with a lantern could be fun, like your friend Flora, if she does it.” The carriage lurches and I nearly lose my seat, but it gains a laugh instead of an ouch this time. “A little padding and the ride could be considered fun,” I half-mutter.

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain

NIKI

"You are forgiven," Niki assures her, his playful haughtiness entirely ruined by his drowned rat appearance and the hood that shields much of his face from the downpour. "So this is your first time really out on your own? That is very brave of you, to set out despite everything. I am glad, though, that you do not have to spend any longer wandering through Ludo's Woods. It may be the herald who sponsors the Festival of Lights, but it is far too fond of trickery as well."

Nodding readily, though Niki will have to wait to see where the festival lands this year, he can't deny that it would be nice to assist even if he doesn't bring a lantern for himself. Reaching out to clutch the side of the wagon as it lurches, and wincing as he's jostled against the crates and sacks, he peeps out towards the driver and smiles. "I could not agree more," he says. "But luckily, I think that swift change of trajectory has put us on a beeline for the village. We are almost there."

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

I nod. “First time, yes,” I say, and smile a little sheepishly. I being called brave tickles something pleasantly in my chest. It’s what I always hope to be. And perhaps even now, I could be—he’d shared so much, so readily. I know that there is always more, always another facet to discover in everyone. “I wasn’t able to be on my own. Last season, I was fourteen.” I draw my knees up and hug them, resting my chin on them. I don’t wait for a confused question. “I visited Frey’s shrine, so they could make me older. So I guess I was no real match for Ludo’s Wood.”

I crack a real grin, and I look out over the top of the wagon, as if I might catch a glimpse of warm lanternlight filtering through the trees. “I didn’t think we were so close.”

I look back at Niki, and I hope he doesn’t think of me differently, learning just how short my life as an adult has been. I’ve got a healthy dose of concern that I’ll stop being taken seriously when people learn of it. I just maintain my smile, as I always try to. “Hope goes a long way, even when luck fails,” I say. “But I’m glad we didn’t just have to run on hopes tonight. Luck certainly helps.”

Now I’ll have to think of what I’ll do to dry off. Some innkeeper must take pity on a half-drowned looking human girl with no money. Niki said bartering works here, and I’ve got enough to trade for a dry night, I think.

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain

NIKI

"Oh?" Niki raises his eyebrows at that, before offering a polite smile towards her. "Well, it certainly does not show. You seem very capable, even for somebody lost in the woods." At assisting in lighting candles and in good conversation, at the very least. "Though I would not feel too bad about Ludo's part of the forest. People easily twice our age have been turned in circles out there."

There is no lanternlight just yet - difficult to see through the downpour anyway, most likely - but the track beneath their wheels is a familiar one now, at least to Niki, and it's a much smoother ride for its frequency of use. "Mm, the Greatwood has been kind to us today," he agrees, before glancing back to her in case she's not aware. "The woods move and change, you see. So what may take ten minutes one day might take two hours the next, depending on how the trees are feeling. They have taken pity on us today, it looks like."

They trundle beneath a canopy of said trees and, a few minutes later, now the bobbing glow of lanterns can be seen through the foliage, and their cart trundles to a more leisurely pace, indicating that they'll soon be coming to a stop. "I can point out a few places to stay and eat if you like," he says. "Or some places that may be looking for some work?"

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

He doesn’t react with anything like yikes or the like as I expected, and I nod my appreciation, even if his gentle acceptance wasn’t outright voiced. ”Thank you.” It is reassuring, and some of the embarrassment at being lost ebbs. I’m a seasoned traveler, getting lost isn’t in my nature.

We lapse into a short silence, only filled by the drumming of the rain through the trees and into the cart. The road evens out too, and I sit up straighter. “Maybe the Greatwood wanted us to meet,” I say decisively, though there’s a bit of amusement in my eyes. I don’t know about things like fate, but I’m certainly grateful that the Greatwood brought me to meet someone like him.

A few more minutes of comfortable silence, and then I can see the warmth of lanterns through the curtain of rain and the barrier of trees. I nod vigorously at Niki. ”That would be such a great help,” I say. I’m worried about how I’ll get dry and warm again, but I’m hopeful that someplace will let me do their dishes and whatever other tasks need doing for a place to stay.

”And maybe point me to where I can find you again.” I give him a warm smile. ”I’d like to be able to visit. And help with hauling stuff, too.”

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain

NIKI

"Perhaps it did. I am glad if that is the case. The company has been quite nice," Niki says with a smile, pushing up his hood a bit to send rivulets of water falling from it where it has started to gather. At last they rumble to a halt just outside the thick of things, and Niki expresses his thanks to the driver and carefully gets himself down from the cart, shivering a bit and leaning more heavily against his cane, but once he starts moving properly he'll likely be fine.

"Ah - of course. Here," he says, reaching into his coat and fishing around for a few moments, before drawing out a slightly battered business card to hand it to her. Tastefully gilded along the edges, the original name has been criss-crossed out and replaced with Nikandr Volkov in neat print, with an address beneath it. "That should let you find me, though whether I am at home may be another matter."

Gesturing further into the village, he leads them among the clusters of buildings and stalls and onto well-worn cobblestones. As they go, he points out various businesses - inns, bars, cafes and teahouses that might need odd-jobs or might offer meals or a place to stay in exchange, along with a blacksmith, a leatherworker and a tailor. "Ah, and there is the Skyport of course. Up at the Observatory." He points above them.

my body's on the line now, I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Theea

A smile spreads across my face, soft and warm—meant for him, but lingering for myself too. Despite the cold rain threading through my hair, there’s a quiet warmth blooming in my chest, the kind that comes from feeling welcome. I never want to be a bother, never want to weigh anyone down, and knowing I’m not smooths the edge of that worry. “I’m glad too,” I say.

As the cart stops, I’m up on my feet and thanking the driver with a bright grin, and I patiently wait for Niki for find his way down first. I watch him carefully, ready to offer a hand, but he appears to be perfectly capable. I clamber down a moment later, splashing into a small puddle my boots thankfully protect my feet from. If there’s one thing I learned traveling, it’s to keep your feet dry.

I take up the offered card and lean over it to protect it from the rain. Nikandr Volkov. It’s an elegant name. I tuck it into a dry pocket of my backpack. “I’ll catch you one of these days,” I tell him. “Maybe we can have tea after I help out?” Please say yes, is all I can think. What I wouldn’t give for a friend to visit.

I follow Niki deeper into town, and maybe it’s the cover overhead or the gentler air, but the rain doesn’t seem quite so heavy here. I sweep damp hair from my face, gathering it to wring out as we go. The glow of the lanterns makes everything feel warmer than it is. I wear a quiet smile, nodding as Niki gestures to the shops and inns, pointing out places where I might find work—and maybe a place to stay. And of course...

I grin, my chest blooming with delight as my eyes light up. “I’ve seen the Skyport before, but never been in this one,” I tell him. For a while, we walk in silence—just the soft patter of rain and the steady click of his cane filling the air. I glance up at the towering structure, steadying my steps, then shift my gaze back to Niki. “I wish I could just fly,” I admit quietly. “My mom’s a hybrid—one of her shifts is a hummingbird. I was always jealous of her wings. If I had those, I could be there in a blink.” I pause, then tilt my head. “Would you fly from here, if you could?” I suppose he already could, in a way, with Skyships—but that’s not quite the same.

welcome to the world of pretend
where we pretend we don't feel pain