[SE] the sound of all things good breaking

A joy hard-learned in winter was the warming of the bed
You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs

Just tell me what's wrong, and we'll fix it.

Sure, because it was that simple - because anything was that simple anymore. Snorting, Koa shakes his head, further supporting the image of a skittish creature who can't be subdued. He was supposed to protect her, supposed to keep her safe. He's her brother, her defender, her hero.

"No, we won't." How does he ever look in her eyes, to tell her he's failed to save her from a danger she can't even accept she's in?

He can't look at her. He can't keep it together anymore. Koa's voice is barely a whisper, hoarse and breaking in the cold. "Noe... you've been infected by the Family." Maybe, he thinks, the logical mind that both delights and irritates him will understand. Maybe Noe will be able to see the pieces and the picture they paint, even if she can't comprehend exactly where the danger lies.

Koa Carpenter

Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within
Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin

NOE

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames

Oh, but Koa, things were that simple for a Friend of the Family. Why don't you join them and find out?

She was about to argue that they could fix anything if they put their minds to it - after all, they were the Carpenter siblings, and since when did they just give up? - but Koa's next words hit her like a ton of bricks, stopping her slow approach. Infected? She could almost laugh, if it wasn't for Koa's broken whisper, the way he couldn't even look at her while he told her that something was wrong with her. With her, when he was the one who'd been acting so weird.

Betrayal, thick and acrid, coated her tongue, but she bit back a hasty retort. Okay, fine, so he thought she was infected. Maybe he was just confused. "I'm not infected, Koa. The Family aren't the monsters everyone makes them out to be." Maybe, if he could just see it from her point of view... after all, she'd never been happier than she was now, and he could be that way, too, if he'd just be a Friend with her.

You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain

A joy hard-learned in winter was the warming of the bed
You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs

She takes it... well, not as badly as she could have. She doesn't run away, at least. And it's a weight off of the boy's shoulders, finally letting this out; selfishly, he feels better - at least now he doesn't have to keep pretending that anything's okay.

Of course it isn't any sort of solution, and Noe's quick enough to retort. Folding his arms across his chest, Koa huffs a hollow laugh. A part of him knows he needs to retreat, that there's nothing to be gained by pushing forward. But the floodgates are open now; no putting the tide back. "Literally that's what every infected person says."

Shaking his head, Koa at last turns back to his sister. "Noe - if the Family aren't monsters, why didn't the take over our home? Why did they banish me into the wilds for seasons? Send monsters to attack Torchline, and Halo, and Gods know where else?" He's growing properly heated now, months of terror and indignation intensifying his voice. "Why did they need to fill Wilds with their weird infected monsters, if they're our so-called 'Friends'? Why did they murder Flora and Zavien and probably others?! What kind of Friend does that?!"

Koa Carpenter

Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within
Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin

NOE

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames

Koa's hollow laugh should have been indication enough that things were about to go south quick, but a part of Noe still held onto the belief that she could convince him he was wrong. That the Family in general - and Vox in particular - weren't as bad as everyone made them out to be. Look at her: she'd started her own business and made new friends and was just generally thriving. Maybe, if she could just make him see...

But alas, it was not to be. She scowled at him as he called her infected again, then went on a rampage against the Family - against her friends - that should probably leave her shaking in her boots but instead only fueled her own fire. She laughed, the sound hollow and perhaps a touch cruel. "Oh, is that what this is about? That Dahlia came in and took charge when Sohalia left? Well, who else was there, Koa? I didn't see anybody else stepping up!"

And as for the rest of it, Noe shook her head. "They aren't weird infected monsters, if you give them a chance, they're actually nice!" she insisted. "I've been to Starfall and seen them up close, and there wasn't a scratch on me. How do you know that people didn't just attack them, and they acted in self-defense?"

You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain

A joy hard-learned in winter was the warming of the bed
You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs

"She didn't leave, she was taken! And so was I- or do I not matter, now that you have a new FAmiLy?" The last two words are spat with a vehemence that would make Flora proud, and feels entirely foreign in his mouth. He's long since stopped listening to the rational side of his brain. He'd tried to make the smart plan work.

Time for dumb brute force.

"Not monsters?!" he bellows over Noe, unable to believe his ears. "They literally turn normal animals into weird toothy bullshit that makes you sick just by looking at it, No'!" He's breathing heavy now, ready to dig his heels in and keep arguing until she sees some goddammit sense.

And then she says she's been to Starfall, and Koa abruptly stills, muscles locking in electric tension underneath his skin. "You what?" Oh, he's angry - wrathful, even - but more than anger his voice quivers with unabated fear. Terror wraps around his heart in a vice-like grip, making his pulse stutter and snarl. No, no no no, she can't go there. If she goes to Starfall then he can't follow, can't keep her safe from the terror at their door.

Koa Carpenter

Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within
Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin

NOE

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames

Regardless of the how or why of it, Noe couldn't even deign to answer the thought that Sohalia might have been removed from the city against her will. After all, wasn't it for the better that the Family had come along? Hadn't they made everything better?

Noe clenched her jaw. "Of course you matter, you - you -" But Koa wasn't done; as the girl bit back hurtful words, he continued to rant at her about the so-called monsters. And while she might have argued that she wasn't sick - and, in fact, had plenty of Void friends to prove that they weren't as terrible as Koa seemed to think - his sudden stillness gave her pause. They'd fought before, as all siblings do, but never had he seemed so entirely wrathful, as though he might shake her in an attempt to rid her of the infection that he seemed to think she had.

But that didn't mean she was going to lay down and take it. She stuck her chin out mulishly. "I. Went. To. Starfall," she spat right back at him, bristling. "And it's actually beautiful, if you'd get your stubborn head out of your ass and give it a chance!"

You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain

A joy hard-learned in winter was the warming of the bed
You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Well, this changes everything. Suddenly Koa's world is tilted on its axis, his priorities skewed and shifting as he absorbs what's been said. Noe went to Starfall, which means one of them must have taken her to Starfall. And if they take her there again, there's no way he can follow.

One deep breath. Another. Three. It takes a herculean effort, but Koa manages to school his features, to bury and subdue the terror and wrath and desire to scoop her up and run. "Noe... okay. Okay." Koa lifts a hand up in the universal expression of surrender. He needs to change the direction of this fight. Another deep breath is followed by an exhalation; he shakes his head, then meets her eyes. "Look. You're right. Maybe... maybe I overreacted." Somehow, he even manages the semblance of a shaky, sheepish smile. 

It's shocking that his voice doesn't tremble, given how his heart is pounding hard enough he fears the force will bowl him over. "I just worry about you, y'know? But I trust you. I do." Again he smiles encouragingly. This is true, kind of: usually he trusts his sister's judgment and insights. But then again, usually those judgments aren't laced and tainted by an infectious purple cloud.

"Can we make a deal? I'll try to be nicer about the... about your friends. Maybe.. maybe you can even introduce me to Vox." This is even harder to get out; he can feel the bile in his throat. But it's worth it, has to be, if it means it'll keep her safe. Even with the springs destroyed, there are ways to save her.

But only if she remains within reach.

His expression grown earnest and serious, Koa reaches for his sister's hands. "But... Noe, in return you have to promise me you won't go back to Starfall, okay?" Copper eyes search hers, desperate to get through whatever mindfuck they've enacted upon her sister's brain and impart the seriousness of his request. "At least not without telling me first. I know they're your friends, but I'm your brother, and I need to know... I need you to promise me this. Please, Sparkplug."

Koa Carpenter

Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within
Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin

NOE

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames

Technically, Noe could travel to Starfall all on her own, thank you very much, and in fact had done so once before, making her trips to the island a grand total of two. Not that it mattered, really, but just in case one was keeping count.

There was a long silence, during which Noe glared daggers at her brother, her arms crossed angrily over her chest. When he finally spoke, it took the girl by surprise. She'd been expecting further words of fury, more attempts to get her to see the Family as the evil force that Koa clearly thought they were, but what actually came was an attempt to smooth her ruffled feathers, calm the turbulent waters that now stretched between the two.

And a part of Noe wanted to let him, wanted to put the argument behind them and move forward like nothing had ever happened.

And maybe she would have, if she didn't know better.

But he still thought she was infected.

He still hated her friends.

So when Koa reached for her, she took a step back, already shaking her head. "What, so you can buy time to fix me?" she asked, but there was less venom than hurt in her shaking voice. "So you can, what, control when and where I see them?" She shook her head. "Koa, I love you, but you're not my keeper. I don't want to make a promise I can't keep." She swallowed back sudden tears that threatened. "Please don't make me."

She took another step back, and the gulf between them widened. "I want to go home." And then she was turning, leaving, returning back to the skyport. Going anywhere but here, anywhere that she could buy herself time to think, and feel, and mourn.

fin

You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain