smoking clouds like cigarettes

Elizabeth

At least Theea doesn't shrink away from the topic, looking curious if anything. It warms her heart, and Elizabeth smiles affectionately as she nods her head. "Mhm. That's the goal." Although she might say it's a little more complicated than that, considering she doesn't 'tell them' how to fix things, instead giving them the tools to find the solutions themselves. 

She might have laughed at the statement if she didn't notice the twinge of sadness in the woman's eyes. Elizabeth gives her a soft smile instead, shrugging her shoulders. "I think everyone could benefit from therapy, but very few people are interested in being vulnerable, in looking at the darkness in their own minds - even if it might lead to acceptance and healing." And as much as she'd like to force her assistance on those who need it most, that will only lead to defensiveness and animosity, thickening the walls around their insecurities or traumas. The only way in is with a gentle hand and an open heart, being willing to listen and validate. 

The offer of water is met with an appreciative grin, feeling the bread soak some of the moisture from her mouth. "Thanks." Elizabeth wouldn't have been suspicious of the drink anyways, but she notes Theea's instincts to reassure, the assumption that other people might be untrusting. She takes a small sip before handing it back, nodding in another motion of thanks. 

Her head pauses mid-motion at the mention of who her family is, expression brightening. "Oh! I have! Ronin and Remi, right? I've only met Ronin, but he was really sweet." He'd offered to pay her bid in their card game and talked to her about his relationship with Safrin. Tilting her head, she asks, "So you're trying to get to Torchline?"

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

“My mom often is stuck in her own darkness. I think she looks at it too much these days.” And I worry for her, all alone now. I hope she finds companionship. I hope she just comes back to the real world one day. “My dad is gone. She’s all alone now.” Guilt wrenches hard in my stomach, and I take a bite of the bread, as if that could ease that feeling. I nod distantly as she hands the back, capping it to return to my bag.

My attention piques at the posture Elizabeth adopts, her expression brightening in recognition. I grin—every person I’ve spoken to knows them, and I can’t help the wriggle of pride inside. My mother had known and loved these people as family. “My mom talks about them all the time. They meant the world to her. She met them back before they came to Caido, before the Voice brought them here.”

I take another generous bite of the bread, and I nod earnestly, and I point in the direction of the skyship port. I swallow down the bite. “Tryna work some odd jobs to earn enough for a skyship ticket,” I say, “and then I’ll make my way to Torchline. I don’t really know how to reach them yet, but I’ll make it happen.” My confidence in it is unshakeable. Regardless of how this turns out, I will at least speak to them. I have to.

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall

Elizabeth

The admission of her mother's struggles makes Elizabeth ache for the girl and her mother, sure it comes with a slew of strains, her head dipping in acknowledgement of Theea being willing to share with her. "That sounds difficult. Did she share her burden with you?" Through talking or sharing of physical tasks, parents sometimes made the mistake of being too open with their children, ruining some of the protective dynamic that should remain between them. It sometimes robbed people of their chance to grow as children, stealing youth and peace of mind, breeding caution and anxiety. 

Ripping a piece of bread, Elizabeth snacks as she listens with interest to Theea explain the connection between her mom and the Teliesins, her head nodding to show active engagement. It's still fascinating to hear of people coming from other worlds, of having led different lives and carried different burdens. Perhaps she should look further into the effects it has on their adjustment in Caido, whether it impacts relationships with people or gods. 

As for getting to Torchline, she gets the feeling Theea wouldn't be the kind of person to take too many handouts, but she offers, nonetheless, "You could travel with me." Her smile is sincere and reassuring, reaching the warmth of her eyes. And just in case that feels like too much, she adds, "Or you could always offer to work the ship. Lots of captains are willing to accept an extra pair of hands in exchange for safe passage."

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

I glance at Elizabeth, unsure if she’s so easy to talk to because she’s a therapist, or if she’s just… easy to talk to. Something inside bristles, but, after just a moment, I wonder how much of that bristling is just my mother in me. “She didn’t really for a long time, even when I’d ask her or my dad to—idiot kid thinks she can be a grown up.” I let go of an awkward laugh, because I am very much the idiot kid that went to Frey to turn into a grown up. My half-smile withers, and I swallow, looking down at the bread. “She was a lot more… open with it more after we lost my dad. I was eleven. Which… thanks Frey… was only three years ago.”

I was always spared the horrors of her upbringing, but I know enough, I’ve seen her night terrors since my dad can’t take care of her. I know the guilt she carries, the burdens she no longer could shoulder with his help. It fell to me to hold her when she wept, to talk her through the flashbacks, through the night terrors, through all these things I thought she knew how to do. She never did—she’d just depended on my dad for it. “She did get better about it as time wore on, but I worry for her. She’s got to figure it out for herself now.” And I have to figure it out for myself. I need to know who I am, beyond just a daughter.

I take another bite of bread, almost chuckling to myself. I have a habit of being too open—of course I find and start to befriend a therapist. It wasn’t until just now that I’d ever considered that I would benefit from a chat with someone too. Not that I plan to pick something like that up just now—I’ve got too much to do to, and too far to—

”Oh,” I say at her offer, and a bewildered sort of smile flits across my face. ”That’s so kind, I’m so used to having a companion.” But then I bite my lip, glancing at her back where Vi’s rose is tucked safely away. ”But I think you have another stop to make first.” There’s regret in my eyes, I hope, because I feel it. She’s nice, and I get incredibly lonely. ”I just want to get there as soon as I can. I promised my mom I’d go straight to them. She thinks I’ll be safer that way. I talked to a man named Niki, he recommended I do the same — work on a ship for passage, or work around town to raise the funds.” I purse my lips a bit, and I try to quell the yearning in my chest. "Is there a way to just... reach you? It'd be cool to hang out again."

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall

Elizabeth

That would make her... fourteen. And to be burdened with the death of a loved one and the darkness of the living parent.... Elizabeth feels a pang of pity for the childhood she's lost, for the heaviness she now carries for her mother. She smiles softly, her expression warm with understanding. "I see. So you're still very young." Which makes it all the more impressive for her to have struck out on her own, especially in light of her mother's struggles. "It must have been hard to leave her." She looks sympathetically to Theea, supporting her decision despite the difficulties. 

Taking a bite of her bread, she is happy at the acceptance to travel together - until she's reminded of her own mission. She glances at her bag, lifting her head in quiet realization. "Ah. I suppose you're right. I should be getting this back." And as much as she'd like to delay and offer a detour, the Rose takes priority to prevent its loss or damage. 

Elizabeth nods her head at the plan for speedy travel. "I think she's right. Torchline is certainly one of the safest areas at the moment. It also means there's plenty of ships traveling there." Which means options and opportunities for travel, although she worries about the kinds of ships she may have to pick from. Being so young, some could prove less safe. "Just... be careful." She doesn't have experience or advice to offer on such matters, so she places a gentle hand on her shoulder, hoping to imbue strength. At least she knows how to suggest Theea get a hold of her. "You can always send me a letter in Halo. My office is hard to miss." Her smile is friendly and open, more than happy to hear from the young woman again as she nods. "I want to hear that you made it safely, and that your travels went well."

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

I hesitate, eyeing her warily, waiting for judgement—call it a habit from my mother—but she looks so sincere. I sigh and nod, lips pressing together as I think about it. “Yeah,” I say, voice softer. “It’s been harder than I thought it would be.” It’s lonely, crying at night for a mother you left on purpose. I pick a piece of bread from the half of a loaf that’s left. “She’s been my whole world for so long. But maybe this way we’ll both get a chance to grow. Even if it sucks.”

I huff out a quiet breath and swallow past the sudden lump in my throat. Damn. Didn’t expect this today. I glance at the sky like maybe I can spot the sails of the skyships. The idea of getting to Torchline, of finally meeting them, even going to hang out with Flora—it buzzes under my skin in a way that’s more exciting than scary now.

“I think she’s right too,” I add, flicking my gaze back to Elizabeth. “Torchline’s the safest place for me, and with all those ships going everywhere, I’ll find one. Might have to get my hands dirty, but hard work doesn’t scare me. I’m kinda looking forward to it.” Though a luxury ride sure would be nice. I flash a quick smile, grateful for her concern. “Don’t worry, I’m good at landing on my feet.” Then I remember my fall just a bit ago, and I add a quiet laugh. “Usually. If I don’t, I’ll just pretend I meant to trip anyways. Like with the flower—had to trip or I’d crush it!”

It feels easier to breathe when I’m making light of things. The road ahead is still huge and a little terrifying, but... that’s part of why I’m doing it.

My grin softens into something a little more shy. "I'd really like to visit your office too, sometime. If you don’t mind."

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall

Elizabeth

Smiling softly, she nods encouragingly. "You're really brave." To leave everything she knows in search of relatives she's never met at the age of fourteen? Elizabeth can't say she knows many people who would be willing to do such a thing. She hadn't even considered leaving her parents until she was in her twenties. 

Her head tilts as she asks, "Do you have a way to keep in contact with your mom?" In some cases it could be beneficial to maintain the relationship, to have some sense of security in knowing that the other person is doing okay. However, if things were bad enough, sometimes a clean break was best. It would certainly force Theea to mature on her own. 

Sensing that the young woman would rather joke about the serious matter, Elizabeth lets her lighten the mood. She squeezes her shoulder gently before releasing it, a light laugh on her lips that's as sweet as the jelly lingering on her tongue. "Well, try not to fall off the side of the skyship." Not that it would be very easy with all the thick railings, but she hopes Theea will be careful, nonetheless. 

At the mention of her office, Elizabeth's face brightens more. "Of course! Don't be a stranger. My door is always open." Day or night, sun or blizzard, she's always available for people to contact, always an open ear to listen.

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

I duck my head a little at the word brave, not sure I believe it, but it’s nice to hear anyway. There’s something about the way Elizabeth says it—soft, matter-of-fact—that makes me want to believe it might actually be true. “And you’re very kind.” It only seems right to make sure she knows it, hopefully understanding how grateful I am.

"She actually came with me to the shrine, ultimately let me go," I admit after a second. "And she promised she’d always be near by. I know she’s keeping an eye on me, but seeing her or contacting her will be… difficult. She spent the majority of her life as an assassin, in her old world. It's second nature for her, staying out of sight." I shrug. “I’ll talk to her again. Maybe leave her a note somewhere and hope she finds it.” When I have something more to say than I’m scared.

I smile again as Elizabeth squeezes my shoulder, her laugh light and easy. "I’ll try to keep my feet under me," I promise. "Though no guarantees if someone puts a really good pastry too close to the edge. I might have to risk it."

I decide to wrap up the last half of the bread in the cloth from the other one, and I tuck it safely in my bag and look back at Elizabeth. "I don’t know how long it’ll take me to get there, but I’m glad I ran into you before I left. Makes the road ahead feel a little less... big." My hand tightens on the strap of my bag without me meaning to. "I’ve got a lot to figure out still. But at least now, it feels like I’m figuring it out with someone. Even if it’s just through a few letters."

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall

Elizabeth

Her smile stays firmly on her features, proud despite knowing little about the young woman. She nods her head at the information, not in the least bit bothered by the mentioned career. Morals, professions, and decisions are not something she judges; her only job is to make sure that they can live comfortably in the life they've chosen. As such, she's unfazed when she leans back against the bench. "I guess that's somewhat comforting, knowing that she's keeping an eye on you even when it doesn't feel like it." Something like a shadowy guardian angel. 

Taking another bite of her vanishing bread and jelly, Elizabeth chuckles. She lifts a finger in concession to the argument, smiling in amusement. "Oh. Well, I can't blame you there. I'm a sucker for a good pastry. When you come visit me, I'll be sure to make you something" Usually it's scones or muffins in the rough Halo climate, but she's been known to make the occasional pie or croissant. 

The playful grin on her face softens when she sees the anxieties play across Theea's features, her hand tensing. Leaning gently into her, she lets out all the warmth and reassurance heat her words. "You'll soon discover that Caido is smaller than it seems, and there are plenty of good people who would be more than happy to help you through it all." Even if it's not here, she can name multiple people easily, having been the recipient of many kind words during her venture on her own. She hopes Theea might find the same in her journey.

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

I nod, slow and sure. "Yeah. It does help, knowing she’s still out there. Watching."

I don’t add especially at night, when the ache creeps in and sleep feels impossible. I don’t admit that sometimes I lie awake and whisper into the dark, hoping she hears. That part stays tucked away, folded into the promise I made—not to look for her. Not yet. I have to be someone worth finding first.

I lean back into the bench and crack a faint grin. "If you’re offering baked goods, I’ll bring cookies. Or a full meal, if you’re brave. Dad cooked, Mom baked—when she wasn’t stealing ingredients off his cutting board. I used to think half their relationship ran on garlic and sabotage."

Elizabeth’s reassurance settles something in me. I’m not sure the world feels smaller yet, but it feels doable. That’s enough.

"I should figure out where I’m sleeping tonight, if I need to work for a room," I add, glancing toward the stretch of buildings in the distance. "Hopefully one of those inns has some of those people you're talking about."

But I don’t stand. I like having the company, even if it's just for a little while. I glance at her again, smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. "Thank you—for the bread, too. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I was already eating it."

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall

Elizabeth

"I'm sure she'll be proud of how far you've come already." If she's a good mom (and Elizabeth really hopes she is), she'll be cheering her daughter on from the shadows, marking every achievement so that she may cherish the amazing woman Theea is growing into. 

Laughing lightly at the description of her parent's relationship, she finishes off her bread. "That sounds like the best kind." Built on humor and food? Elizabeth can't imagine anything better than that - except maybe some romance. She's a sucker for romance. And she'll never say no to more food, so she gives Theea a warm smile, excited to see her in Halo some time. 

As for a place to stay for the night, she perks up a little more, shaking her hands in dismissal of all her anxieties. Her voice is still soft and welcoming as she insists, "Please, you're more than welcome to stay with me - as long as you don't mind sharing a bed." Although, if that turns out to be a problem for the woman, Elizabeth is more than willing to sleep on the floor. She has to be up early for her skyship anyways. 

Accepting the thanks with a nod of her head, she returns the smile with a gentle one of her own, sweet as honey. "Of course. I'm just glad I was here to help."

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

I nod slowly, lips quirking at the corners in a small, private smile. “Yeah. I think she’ll be proud.” My voice is quiet, but steady. “She’s not just a ghost in the woods or anything. I know more or less where she is—wherever I am—just not how close.” I think that’s what makes it harder, sometimes. Knowing she’s somewhere, watching, not knowing what she sees or what she misses, but I can’t reach out without risking unraveling the whole reason she let me go in the first place.

Elizabeth laughs at my description of them, and it makes my smile stretch a little wider. “They really were the best together. Like, honestly? Gross. The kind of couple that would dance barefoot in the kitchen to nothing but the creak of the floorboards, could never keep their hands off of each other. They’d prank each other constantly—hide each other’s boots, swap out spices—but gods, they always showed up for each other when it mattered.”

The warmth in my chest is real, but something under it catches. Sinks. “I miss him,” I say before I can stop myself. The words come out like they’ve been waiting, like they’ve been sitting behind my ribs too long. “It’s been years, but it still sneaks up on me. I’ll smell peppermint and pine and think he’s just around the corner. Hear someone laugh, and it sounds so close to him I forget to breathe for a second. Some days it feels like if I went back to our old haunts, I’d find him there, like nothing ever changed.”

I glance down at my hands, fingers curling loosely around the sleeves of this too-big jacket that belonged to him. As much as I ache for more—more life, more meaning—sometimes I’d trade it all just to be seven again. Just to crawl between them during a thunderstorm or fall asleep to the sound of their laughter through the walls.

Elizabeth’s offer breaks me out of the thought, and I blink in surprise. “Really?” There’s something bright and warm in my chest again—different from the ache, softer. “I’d love that.” My smile tilts a little shy. “But fair warning—I’m a cuddler. Like, full-on barnacle levels of clingy. You have every right to shove me and wake me up if I get annoying.”

I grin, sheepish, but there’s gratitude in it too. “Thanks, really.” I glance toward the rooftops and the fading sky beyond. “You said you’re headed out in the morning, right? That's from the observatory?”

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall

Elizabeth

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Elizabeth tries to think about how hard that might be, to be so close yet so far. And for someone so young, she can't imagine it would make things any easier. She doesn't know the reasoning for their separation, but if Theea doesn't want to reach out - or can't - then all Elizabeth can do is be supportive. Smiling softly, the warm heat of her gaze settles on the young woman to imbue her with strength. "I'm sure some days will be harder than others but keep that thought in your heart. You are never alone." Even if her mom isn't near enough to feel her presence, just the knowledge of her possible proximity could act as a placebo to strengthen Theea.

Then she's launching into tales of her parent's interactions, the playfulness, the joy. Her own smile brightens, easily picturing a happy couple that dotes on their daughter and finds every chance to make her cringe with the depths of their affection. It's enough to make her heart ache with admiration for what they'd had. "That's adorable. They must have really loved each other." And it explains the intensity of her mother's loss.

Her voice softens, soothing and reassuring in her emotions. "It's okay to miss him. It just shows how much he meant to you." Elizabeth offers a gentle hand on Theea's shoulder, kind in the offering of validation. "Those little things may hurt, but they're gifts that remind you of all the beautiful memories you built together." Because at least she'd had those moments - had developed enough of a connection for it to matter. 

On lighter topics, Theea's confession makes Elizabeth laugh, warm and carefree as she pictures the two of them tangled like schoolgirls at a sleep over. "That's okay. I get cold anyways." Despite all her time in Halo, she still finds herself wearing heavy jackets in moderate weather and wanting five thick blankets on her bed when she sleeps. "Although if it gets to be too much, I'll just give you a little shock." It's a joke, and she gives Theea a playful wink to indicate as much, even as she raises a hand to show a series of tiny sparks darting across her fingertips.

Taking the tenth 'thanks' with a light grin, Elizabeth just nods her head and lowers her hand. "Yep! The Observatory has multiple functions: stargazing, shrine, skyport. It's a really versatile building." She goes to stand, offering Theea a hand and a twinkle in her brown eyes. "And if you want to get a ride to Torchline, you're more than welcome to join me in the morning, but we should probably get some sleep. It'll be a long trip for both of us." Her destination may be farther, but Theea's will most likely involve work, and that makes everything feel twice as long.

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome.
Let's grieve and hope and fight together.

Theea

I blink, then laugh softly under my breath. “Gods, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload like that. I feel like I turned this into a therapy session, and you’re not even getting paid.” I glance over at her with a sheepish, crooked smile. “You’re really good at it, though. Soothing voice, wise nods… it’s kind of unfair, actually. You must make a fortune.”

Still, I mean it—every word of it. She doesn’t rush me, doesn’t try to fix it all with platitudes or tug the pain into a neater shape. Just listens.

When her fingers spark to life, tiny flashes of lightning dancing across her skin, I stare. Then grin. “Lightning!” The grin grows, bright and startled, warming me like sun after a snowstorm. “I love it. My mom was the first in her old world known channel lightning. It just… answered her one day, and after that, everything changed. She became this anomaly, and she was always fighting to be better, became so well known for it. It's always cool to see other people with it.”

I reach for her hand as she offers it, fingers wrapping around hers as I rise to my feet, my knees creaking in protest like tired old floorboards. I square my shoulders, give myself a little shake, like I’m sloughing off the weight of everything we just talked about.

“The Observatory in the morning sounds perfect,” I say, voice lighter now, touched with hope. “I could use a place to start. Maybe I’ll get lucky—find someone hiring, catch the right wind. At the very least, I can get a sense of which ships are heading south. I’ve spent so long feeling like I’m wandering in circles, I’d really love to pick a direction and actually go.”

cause we waited years and years

just to make it worth the tears

to find out that we're not in this alone

so keep your head up high in these hours of the night

so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall