[RA] corners of the world

where I save you and you save me

Peace and repose were scarce figments nowadays, but Deimos made certain to carve it out of the void when he could. Tiny branches and brambles, slender boughs and threads, not knotted or gnarled but there – held fast to the ties in his home and family. So it was only after an extended trip to Torchline, and a visit to the Citadel’s shrine, that he followed the path lines of sanctity and shelter for himself.

No knives flung or crusted blood; but the sentiments of weary bones finding their way to resting places. Eventually, he wound his way into the early afternoon with Erebos, unwilling to bother Evie during her own work (for now), and planting themselves amidst the library. A den and haven of its own creation, the fire in the hearth roared, ravenous and content with the stoked parallels, and the two situated themselves at a table. Belial was curled up before the fire, and Zuriel was out in the yard, munching hay under her newest blanket.

Deimos, unsurprisingly, had already pulled out a large parchment with the Citadel map already outlined and drawn, beginning to draw stones placed around the filaments. Two mugs of hot tea waited, plumed and ready for whenever the Evergreen found her way to them, and Erebos, deeply ensconced in his own work, marveled at large, sweeping turns of his crayon. What the art would truly render remained to be seen, but given his jovial giggles and delightful expressions, often showing his father the wondrous display, his parents would probably have to ask later on about the most accurate of depictions.

Deimos

and we save each other over and over, a hundred times, endlessly

Evie

Maybe you find yourself instead of losing your hope
like an old love note under the floorboards

Evie pours her worries and frustrations into soil and sprouts - more often these days, admittedly - and only emerges when she runs out of magical stamina, because it gives out before her emotional drive. Sighing, she runs dirt-streaked hands over her hair without a care, pushing back hairs that might have been called strays or flyaways if they weren’t so plentiful. It makes her look less crazed at least, or so she determines when she catches her reflection in the back door’s glass window.

She wanders inside, ears tuned to determine who is home and in what room. It’s not immediately obvious, so she washes her hands briefly (there’s no hope for true cleanliness until her magic is ready again or she fully bathes) and begins hunting through the house room by room in a tired shuffle of socked feet.

It doesn’t take long to find Deimos and Erebos. The library is a sanctuary for every single member of their family. She softens immediately upon seeing their repose; tension bleeding away until she is left with slumped shoulders and deeper, slower breaths. Her eyes are a touch brighter as they swap back and forth between the two different papers at play, dropping a kiss onto Erebos’ head with a soft murmur of greeting and affection. Then onward to Deimos, resting her hip against the chair’s arm to slide one of her own around his shoulder and lean in, kissing his temple and lingering there. “Hello love,” she murmurs, eyes turning as she pulls away to fall onto the paper in his hands. “Ah. We should go over that - seasonal goals.” A simple statement, for all it’s spoken with tired tones. Not that she’s reluctant to discuss their region, though her drained state could easily be taken that way by anyone who knows her less thoroughly than her husband does. “After, though…bath, takeout, dinner in bed?” Evie’s tone goes hopeful, perhaps cajoling, as she leans further over the arm chair to half-sit on it in order to be all the closer.

don’t waste precious moments looking down on yourself
you're a wildfire - burn bright, burn bright

where I save you and you save me

They were found, though it hadn’t been any true game of hide and seek. He’d prefer his ramparts with Evie to be outward and known – and who knew about Erebos’, given the toddler’s age and mind. But the infant reached for his mother with obvious affection, hands grasping for either a snagging of a hug, of warmth, or her hair, gentle cooing for the Evergreen, while Deimos poignantly laughed, funneling away his exhaustion for pieces and snippets of what they had.

Likely both exhausted, in different outlets – but he varnished it over for traces of her embedded into the chair, into his crown of hair, twisting his dominion into her space to place his own kiss upon her mouth. “Hey,” he rumbled, eyes flicking open to reveal amusement – if not some weariness carved right into his bones. Half of him wanted to refute the initial notions altogether, which while unlike him, sometimes he’d like to forget the multitude of responsibilities weighed across shoulders and mantles and just exist in spans of what they’d created.

But for the moment, that was not to be.

He could hear the drain in her voice, and didn’t intend to put more strain into it – passing her the cup of tea while she offered up other plans immediately after. Those were fundamentally more enticing, and his tilted head suggested so, with a wry grin contorted in place of weariness. “Sounds very promising,” and then his arm reached around her, tugging her closer, and if Erebos wasn’t in his lap, he’d fully intended for her to be. “We went for resources last time,” which meant they could amplify the portions again, even out the score. Unspoken quandaries were of taxes, improvements to the region, and their soldiers, though he’d never permitted them to remain listless.

Deimos

and we save each other over and over, a hundred times, endlessly

Evie

Maybe you find yourself instead of losing your hope
like an old love note under the floorboards

Erebos' cooing desire for attention and affection is more direct than Deimos', but she can read it all the same in the way he tilts his head into her kiss and then tilts again to kiss her in truth. The tired slope of his shoulders, the waiting tea, the soft smile that forms when she comes to his side. Less of a spoken bid like their son and more of a natural blooming at its reception, but they are all fueled by each other at the end of the day. And as much as Evie would love to squander these necessary plans she doesn't want the shadow to follow them, tonight or any subsequent ones.

Taking the tea with a long, trailing hum of appreciation that only continues as she indulges in it immediately, Evie chortles around her mouthful as Deimos pulls her into his lap. Thankfully they are both steady-handed enough to not worry over spilled tea as all of it remains in its vessel. Evie arranges her legs more comfortably to hang crossed over the side of one of his thighs and uses the improved angle to look down at the papers on the table. One hand cups her tea while the other arm extends to twirl Erebos' hair around her fingertips.

"We're improving the region frequently in other ways, so it usually comes down to our forces or resources." She's too tired to snort over the unintentional rhyme but her lips twitch anyway."With current affairs...personally, I'd rather invest in our soldiers." Magic and items were always helpful, but only truly useful if the person wielding it remained alive. Having more bodies to respond to a threat would never cease to be helpful in comparison, whether they were armed with magical tools or not.

don’t waste precious moments looking down on yourself
you're a wildfire - burn bright, burn bright

where I save you and you save me

Deimos didn’t ask for much – not even affection – but that it was given freely and not expected or snared meant more to the ease of his shoulders and the prospects of the present, steeling and forging himself as they were enshrouded in his arms. Erebos giggled and then tried to slip away from his mother’s twirls amidst his lengthening hair, opting to duck underneath fingertips and then wile his own near her wrist, forgetting the crayon in his other hand.

His lips moved into another slow smile at her rhyming scheme, brow arching to see if it was intentional, before the decision. “Fine by me,” which meant more time spent in the barracks, in between the other angles.

Thereafter though, his face fell a little, and he took a piece of paper beneath the map, pulling it towards him, charcoal pressed against it as details were unfurled. “I had a visitor earlier,” he mentioned by way of warning, not wanting to press it into Erebos’ ears – even if the child wouldn’t be able to understand it, there was no sense in involving a toddler. From there was an image depicted of Dorian himself – and then the description of the conversation, the proposal, the silent ultimatums floating, the heavy decision toiled upon in the cold dominion of where his machinations had to rest – and the heart stopping mention of their family.

Then he passed it over for her to read, uncertain if he wanted to see her reaction. He knew her better than to immediately chastise and chide, to think beyond the surface level of what those promises and pleas really meant – of the wholly encompassing of shelter and sanctity. Still, he pressed his brow into her shoulder, fatigued, tired all over again.

Deimos

and we save each other over and over, a hundred times, endlessly

Evie

Maybe you find yourself instead of losing your hope
like an old love note under the floorboards

Though her attention is split between husband and son, Evie juggles the balance of it artfully, accustomed to finding yet more hands to offer for the sake of affection. It was how their family had grown to the size it currently was. She’d never dreamed of managing to so thoroughly untangle herself from the ropes of her upbringing as to be able to live like this. Incandescently happy even in the midst of such terrors. Yet here she is, and she won’t allow a lack of arms and hands to keep her from relishing in every touch and shared piece of affection. Even if she is surely smearing faint bits of soil across both of her boys.

So, to see her husband’s face fall even slightly is enough to rouse her waning energy into something more pointed. Her fingertips continue to playfully nip back at Erebos’ as if imitating teeth, warding them in a wily chase to give herself time to pour over what Deimos has turned her way. 

Her heart drops to her feet, skin pebbling all over as she reads. Many knee jerk emotions kick through her chest in scattered directions but none of them find purchase, skittering away like stones on a frozen lake. The Evergreen doesn’t respond for some time. Her eyes restlessly rove the image and skim over words aimlessly while she thinks. Breathing in slowly until her lungs ache with fullness, Evie finally turns her eyes to Deimos. Her ensuing exhale is shaky. Her words are not. “You did the right thing. And I’m so sorry you had to at all.” If she did not believe so thoroughly in the good he does for their people, for Caido, she would regret more deeply his mantling of this role. She still does, if only because she will never rest easy seeing him so heavy-shouldered with the weight of protecting so many people. And though he sits before her physically unharmed, she still asks, “Are you okay?” Or at least as okay as he can be.

don’t waste precious moments looking down on yourself
you're a wildfire - burn bright, burn bright

where I save you and you save me

Deimos’ family was his solace, and to have it so easily threatened unwound him in place he didn’t frequently visit. Even now, that weight punctured and pierced through his chest hours later, all the coldness and stoicism wearing away to the abject fear that for all he’d done, it might not matter – he could lose them just the same. So he turned his gaze to Erebos as the child fussed and tried to claw back at his mother, with mocking, playful little growls he probably gained from listening to any of their companions.

But then she turned her attention to everything, and he waited, fingers pressing and mussing with his son’s hair to keep him grounded, keep him tethered, keep him from retreating back into all those fortresses he’d carefully maintained. But he leaned into her too, because he couldn’t with anyone else, and the finality of her words meant multitudes.

Even then though, the might of it all was exhausting. And he could lie; he could encase himself right back into those icy barricades and wear away at all the seams, as if they’d never been there – the perfect shell of masks and nothingness. But it wouldn’t matter to pretend, not with Evie, nor had they built their foundations upon pretenses and falsehoods. He could admit it here, in the quiet of their library, in the threshold of their livelihoods. “I am tired and overwhelmed.” There was always something; an endless barrage. “I think I will feel better once we have the barrier in place.” His eyes flickered back to her, a long sigh fading through the den. “But there is no rest.” Even now, there was sure to be something haunting his dreams.

Deimos

and we save each other over and over, a hundred times, endlessly

Evie

Maybe you find yourself instead of losing your hope
like an old love note under the floorboards

It would be of no use, but it would equally only inspire her to reach through those guards and barriers if he had seen fit to retreat behind them. Nowhere could he run that she would not try and reach him, to at least understand why he would seek to. But he doesn’t, and her own shoulders loosen and bend toward him in relief and shelter in equal measure. She couldn’t be there at his side when the offer was made but at least she can be beside him now.

Cupping Erebos’ cheek for a moment in silent be still, I’ll return, the Evergreen frees her hands fully to wrap herself around her husband and tilt her forehead to brush against his own. Blocking out the world - even this love-filled space they currently retreat to - with hair and scent and touch. “I can’t take it all away,” she murmurs as her hands smooth his hair away from his face so she can press butterfly kisses upon it. “But let me take it for tonight. There is no tomorrow - not until I say there is.” And though she can’t stop the turning of the earth or the rising of the sun she will act as if she can for an evening. Even if his mind will not let him believe it, believe her, she will try. “No more of this. Just you, me, our family - and of course food, fire, bed…maybe dessert if we’re lucky.” The endless circle of questions and planning and doubt will persist she’s sure but she doesn’t need to be capable of banishing them. Only quieting them. “Run away with me? Inside, of course.” Her blue eyes hold a spark of humor amidst tired shadows as she peers down at him. They’ll never leave the safety of their home but perhaps they can run away from the rest for a few hours, like troublesome teenagers who’ve never dreamed of responsibilities greater than their bedtime hour. A ploy they can only play tonight. It’s all she can offer him until morning comes and they are back to putting one foot in front of the other again.

don’t waste precious moments looking down on yourself
you're a wildfire - burn bright, burn bright

where I save you and you save me

There was a long, slow, and steady breath as he was suddenly engulfed and surrounded by Evie; shelters in hearths and love, promises made to one another years before. Sometimes he was still baffled by it, in between all those primordial aches and pains, moments where he’d never want to extend his suffering to anyone else – and she was right, she couldn’t take it all away. Nor would he let her, he supposed, harboring all the anguish for himself.

So he snorted and laughed when she announced some conviction of tomorrows; moments that could be boundless for an evening. “I do not like the thought of running away,” he miffed and laughed in return – trying to ease the humor out of knives and prolonged, impending odds; a smile forming somewhere in the abyss. “But I will stay here with you. Us.” Erebos giggled, of course, and Deimos hoped the boy would never have to face the parallels the lot of them stared upon now.

So they’d carve wakes for themselves tonight, and then for others within the next days, seasons, and years.

[FIN]

Deimos

and we save each other over and over, a hundred times, endlessly