My best enemy

Maea

The worst of all blessings

He wasn't alone in being restless, between projects and itching for something new. Maea would gladly talk about, and many other things besides. Though as Liam stilled upon the mention of the part, she wondered if it had been a bad idea to bring it up again so soon. His response was not unexpected, but she had come no closer to finding a cure for him, which meant she had to keep stalling.

Biting her lip, Maes bowed her head over the plate, chasing crumbs around with a finger. She didn't have to feign looking troubled, and somewhat to her own surprise she heard herself question him outright. "Is that really true?" A slim shoulder rose and fell in a half shrug. "I know you believe different, and that they call you friends... but will the Family really protect the people who choose to join them? I don't know, Liam... I just worry that they're using you." 

More than just worried, honestly, given what they'd done to Talyson, but she knew that example likely wouldn't mean anything to Liam right now. Half formed ideas swam through her mind like silver minnows, reached for and discarded - searching for a distraction, some way to delay the decision he so gently tried to herd her towards.

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Liam was nothing if not patient, and to his credit, he really did consider Maea's concerns before answering. He could remember, vaguely, how he'd felt about the Family before - the fear, and the anxiety, and the feeling that there was nothing he could do to stop them. But now he could see that they didn't need to be stopped. That their friendship was powerful, and that they had had many assumptions made about them that were unfair. How they'd been fought against time and again for no reason other than being different.

But even though he felt differently now, he knew that Maea still had doubts - and he knew enough to know that forcing someone into something they weren't ready to believe was a surefire way to lose them. So even though he wanted nothing more than to throw her over his shoulder and haul her to Stormbreak, he forced a nonchalant shrug. "Using me how?" he asked, curious in spite of himself. He was just an average soldier at the end of the day - no one worth bothering with. The Family was being generous in extending him their protection, but what could he do for them? "And to what end?"

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

The worst of all blessings

Chasing crumbs across the plate, she absently picked them off by the pad of a finger and popped them into her mouth. "How to put it... Friendship is... a two-way thing, don't you agree? Give and take. But if one side only gives and the other only takes, that makes it manipulation. Right?" Searching his face with a trace of her genuine concern showing through, Maea chose her words carefully. "It seems to me that you are very willing to give to the Family, yet I've seen nothing that suggests they would do the same for you - for us." 

As to what end? That was a harsh, crass thing to say, a reality that Liam had become blinded to. "To conquer our world," she simply said, and hoped it wouldn't trigger anything within him - aside for the disbelief she had come to expect, that always left her stomach aching with frustration and unease.

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

She spoke truly enough. Friendship was a two-way thing, but truly, to reduce it to either friendship or manipulation felt so... black and white. His relationship with the Family wasn't so transactional. In fact, they had thus far asked nothing of him.

So he shrugged a shoulder, leaning against the back of the sofa comfortably. "Do all friendships require something given and something taken? Isn't it possible to simply... be?" Like he and Maea. Weren't they just... them? Or did she view their relationship as simplistically? And if so, what was she getting from him? What was she offering in return?

As for them wishing to conquer Caido - Liam smiled ruefully. "I can see how it would look that way," he admitted. "But perhaps they simply needed somewhere to land - and we were simply hostile in return. Who ever said anything about conquering?"

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

The worst of all blessings

Arguing had not been on the agenda for today, yet it seemed to be where they were headed. The way Liam was phrasing his response chafed against sore spots in her, triggering all those insecure parts that whispered how wrong she was, how demanding, how uptight and stingy with her affections - how dare she require reciprocity instead of pouring all of herself without stopping to question if it was a mutual thing, wanted, needed or even a healthy thing to do.

"Not all, but most relationships are that way, aren't they? You give of love and care, time and attention, and in the majority of cases expect something in return. Respect, gratitude - what is returned depends on the relation but there's always something, some kind of exchange." Carefully setting her plate aside, Maea shifted in her seat so she could look at him. "If you don't need that, then fine. I do, though. Otherwise, I'd feel more a servant than a friend. If I don't get a choice, if I can't say no - to me, that is the same as being enslaved. Which is what most of the Family's so called 'friends' describe it once they've been relieved of the influence."

Her tail flicked in a slow, measured papttern, and as she pulled her legs up beneath her, it wrapped neatly around her knees - nudging the outside of his thigh briefly, perhaps by accident or perhaps in some unconscious reassurance that disagreeing didn't  have to mean driving him away.
"Let me ask this, then - if Vox or Pierce or Dahlia asked you to do something, could you say no? If they asked you to kill, or betray someone you cared about - can you go against them?"

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Perhaps Liam had jumped to conclusions, or perhaps he hadn't thought things all the way through. As Maea explained further what she'd meant, he softened, laying an arm along the back of the couch and laying his fingertips gently against her shoulder. "Fair enough," he said. "I'm sorry. I wasn't understanding what you meant. But Maea - I'm still me. I haven't been asked to do anything, and I haven't been - I don't know - forced into anything against my will." He paused, thinking. "I honestly don't know what I have to offer the Family, but I know that by being their Friend, I'm protected. Perhaps I'm the one taking advantage."

Maea's tail settled against his leg. He didn't move away; if anything, he settled further, determined not to let their differences drive a wedge between them. Her question was one that had him gazing off into space, trying to ignore the urge to respond quickly and force himself to really think through a response. "I don't feel like I'm being compelled," he said finally. "Wouldn't I know, if I wasn't able to say no? And, like I said - they haven't asked for anything."

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

The worst of all blessings

This was pointless. Like trying to fight the tide, or chase rainbows. She knew it, yet still tried to reason with him - and it was like pushing against a wall. The frustration building up inside was a warning sign, yet she still couldn't entirely keep it from beading like tears in her eyes. Taking the single brush of his finger against her shoulder as an invitation, Maea slumped towards him and leaned her forehead into his chest - hiding, accepting, trying her best to be reassured despite the splintering feeling in her chest.
"You wouldn't know," she grumbled. "That's why it's a compulsion. That's why... I'm sorry. But I can't accept going to Stormbreak. I trust you - but not them."

The shoulder beneath his fingertip was tense, tight with worry that this would mean that he wouldn't stay. That she wouldn't be good enough if she wasn't like him, that they couldn't overcome the purple haze that befuddled his mind - that despite it all, he would have been changed into someone she couldn't feel safe around anymore.

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Liam fell silent again, considering this. If Maea wouldn't come to Stormbreak, he couldn't very well force her - or, at least, he wasn't willing to try. Failure would mean a broken friendship, and he wasn't willing to risk what he had with her. Not even for the Family. He'd just have to try harder to get her to see that they weren't so bad - and he'd have to find a way to do it was was so irrefutable that she couldn't deny their friendship any longer. That was the only way to protect her, if war was on the horizon.

But he couldn't do that today, so it would have to wait. "I understand," he said, though he wasn't sure that he did. It just meant he'd have to be patient. He'd have to find proof of the Family's good nature. Then he could try again. He looked at Maea, his fingertips still brushing her shoulder. "I hope this doesn't change things between us." He wasn't sure he could bear losing her, not after all they'd been through. And especially, perhaps, after that day on the skerry, when they'd felt so close.

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

The worst of all blessings

Sitting back up, she leaned ever so slightly back into the fingers shifting along her shoulder. The light  touch was barely there, yet impossible to ignore; distracting enough to take the wind out of her sails. "Not from my part, at least," she told him, trying to smile despite the lingering heaviness within. "Just... if you ever begin to feel that this allegiance is holding you back, let me know, alright? I can't say I like it, but as long as it's what you want... I'll accept it." And she could at least rest assured that the void wouldn't touch him. If that was the only good thing to come out of this affliction then she'd take it - especially considering she had no means of changing things right now anyway.

Reaching for her glass, the cider washed away the bad taste that tried to settle on her tongue. Despite the desire to sigh, Maea did her best to push it aside. Acceptance meant not dwelling on the matter, right? Meaning, it was time for a change of subject.
"I think I finally figured out what I want to do, for a living," she revealed, and drained the contents of the glass and set it aside on the table. "Healer... or perhaps more like an apothecary. I talked to a friend, Alys? She offered to help me get started."

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Relieved, Liam released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, sharing a small smile with Maea. "Deal," he agreed. Perhaps one day, one of them would shift their perspective. But until then, he could at least rest assured that there was no lingering bitterness on either side (as far as he knew, anyway).

The subject changed, and Liam was glad to latch onto something new and exciting for Maea. "Oh?" he said, raising his brows as he reached for his own glass of cider. When he settled back against the couch, his arm had shifted subtly so that it was very nearly around Maea's shoulders. "I think you'd be good at something like that," he said, smiling. "You're such a good person, Maea, and I know you want to do some good in the world. Would you be apprenticing with Alys, or just taking some lessons, or... what does that look like?"

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

The worst of all blessings

Unconsciously mirroring his state of being, Maea relaxed as well and dove quite eagerly into explaining the plan for her education. If she noticed the subtle shift in his posture or the arm that surreptitiously  tried to close around her shoulders, she didn't mention it - in fact, she seemed quite content to have his undivided attention. "We're starting with herb lore," she explained, "which is something I can study mostly on my own, and per mail - and once I know the basics, I move on to anatomy. When I've learned all I can from books, I will begin to apprentice under a healer. It will take time, but it will honestly be nice to have a proper goal to strive towards." His praise did cause her to blush however, because evidence pointed to the opposite of skill when it came to actually dealing with people. "Thank you for that... but I still have a lot to learn. Not least of which is to accept what I don't understand. And not try to change people..."

Her expression sobered with broody regret as Thalassa and Asta came to mind, along with a long list of other names. The ivory-skinned tail curled languidly, its spade-shaped tip brushing lightly against Liam's knee quite by accident.

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

"Sounds like a good plan," Liam rumbled, smiling crookedly as he pictured Maea poring over books in the wee hours of the morning. Not, of course, that he would be around in those hours to see her - even if there was a part of him that wished he would be.

He banished those thoughts, shifting slightly in his seat.

Instead, he focused on Maea and her self-deprecation. He felt her tail brush against his leg, and he smiled, emboldened by the soft touch. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit," he said gently. "We all have a lot to learn. I think that's just a side effect of living." That didn't mean that what he'd said about her wasn't true. Maea was a good person, and she did want to do good in the world. Just because she had things to learn didn't make those statements untrue.

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

The worst of all blessings

It was a gentle admonishment, one she should have expected. Yet somehow it still surprised her that Liam kept finding good things within her to rally for. Not since Amun or her actual brother had anyone volunteered to be that kind of ally, and the tender warmth his words kindled in her chest had very little to do with familial affection.

On impulse Maea reached up and cupped his face in one hand, her thumb tracing the line of his cheekbone. "Mmh, you're right... I keep forgetting  about the good parts. Thank you - you don't know how much it means to hear things like that." There was a tendency to try and apologise, too - for being so negative, for constantly doubting herself, for not being more – but she consciously set those aside. They were as bad as the self-deprecation and frankly an insult to the steadfast faith Liam seemed to have in her.

The most beautiful of curses

Base by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Maea's movement was unexpected, but not unwelcome, and Liam softened into her touch, leaning his head into her hand as he regarded her warmly through half-lidded eyes. His arm slipped lower, his hand resting gently upon her shoulder, tracing soft circles through the fabric of her shirt. "You should know how special you are," he murmured. "All you seem to see sometimes are the things you don't like about yourself, but you are so much more than that."

And to him, she was rapidly becoming the axis upon which his world spun.

And perhaps he wouldn't have been so bold if he hadn't been under a certain violet-tinged influence, but he smiled affectionately at her and added, "When you forget that, let me know. I'll be here to remind you, for as long as you'll have me."

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam