Flora/Kaisel Parchment

(not long after the first message, yelling like a howler)

ASSBORN

as soon as you get home we are FIGHTING. and yes it will be our FIRST fight as a MARRIED COUPLE but

you're still in so much trouble

(utterly dismayed) BRO!!! 

You can't just SAY that after that short of a pause! I almost tore this paper stuffing it back in my pants so fast and that drew even more attention, especially because then my pants let out a muffled scream.    


(quiet for a minute, then edging towards sly) Is this some roleplay? Sexting?

(voice lowering) Have I been...a bad boy??   Noooooo, please don't punish me baby! Although...I guess if you have to, I understand  I'll even unzip my pants for you, to make it easier, to make it up to you however I can. Don't be alarmed by the way I'm already hard and throbbing for you.

(entirely unimpressed)

KAISEL

(deadly calm) I just had a little chat with Danta since he and Asta are staying with me right now.

Does that ring any bells as to why your status as LIVING husband might become DEAD husband????????

(alarmed) HE'S AT THE HOUSE, RIGHT NOW!?

(scoffing) ME dead?! HE'S the one who's gonna be dead (unintelligible muttering and swearing)

(grouchy) Don't worry, I'm taking the first flight back

(2% taken aback) yeah? they come here for a vacation every year??

(annoyed again) UHM??? First of all, don't you dare. It isn't like you're going to have more time to go abck to Stormbreak, so (softening) don't rush home).

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, (disappointed) how could you????? I told you about (whispering) them (more loudly) as a secret!

What the hell were you thinking telling Danta to get a manicure???

(frustrated) No, we're not doing this on paper. Anyway, the city is getting worse and worse and everyone is mostly packed up here.

(sadly, hesitantly)o..okay. (sounding disappointed) My dad is making you something but it won't be done for a day or so. I guess if everyone is already done packing up it doesn't matter.

(sighing) babe, I can't believe you told

(weary sigh) Might take that long to leave here. Skyport's a mess, and everyone is panicking more now that the shaking has gotten this bad. My parents and uncle are going to the Grounds, they're leaving tomorrow. Koa is...we cleared out the Dragoon area. Mateo should be there before me - he was mostly done by the time I ran into him and already had a time to fly out.

(a long pause, then quietly) I don't think trying to help him look the best for his ring counts as telling. I didn't think suggesting a manicure would tip him off.

Is it all ruined now??

(softly) well, if you need my compass I can send it. Or I could come up and meet you and we could fight in the streets? I just don't want you to rush, not when you won't ever have a chance to go back.

(a pause and then a soft sigh) babe, why would a man like you ever tell someone like Danta that their nails needed to look good? but no, it isn't ruined. He was way more upset about the other things you said to him (which Asta wants to kill you about, btw). When he brought it up to me I saved it by saying that you had a kink about nice-looking hands (a lie that almost burned my finger off, tyvm), so your punishment is that you need to play that up until they're engaged. also you have to pay for my manicures, that's also part of it.

(faint laugh) Let's not make the last memory of Stormbreak us fighting, yea? Anyway, I don't think you or the compass will get here any faster than me getting out.

(scoffing) Everyone should get a manicure once in a while, it's relaxing, and you feel bonita.

(grumbling) Well, I'm not thrilled with everything he told me either.

Hand kink and manicures, got it. Can't wait to fight soon, wife. 

(playfully annoyed) don't you dare make me smile when I'm mad at you! That's not fair!

We can talk about everything when you're home. Love you, (feigned threat) husband

(drawn out and soft) sooooo, iiiii've been thinkiiiing

If we're gonna fight, we should always do it in silly hats. I'll get one for you and you get one for me?

(a giggle) okay deal. that's a good rule. and maybe if things start to get heated, we both have to do silly accents?

also, here. It makes pictures -- just hold it up and push the button and you'll see what I mean. I know that maybe all the parts of Stormbreak you'd want to remember are probably different or empty now, but...I dunno, I didn't want you not to be able to have something of it.

---

attached is a kodak style instant camera made by Remi here.

(giddy) Let's make it official!!!! Enough time has passed, let's tell people we're engaged!

(talking too fast) We could mail out a bunch of letters. Or release a bunch of doves and every dove has a letter that spells out the message. They can train doves to fly in a certain order, right?

(a pause, then louder) Maybe not the doves. A PARTY?! Maybe fireworks!