[SE] stained glass windows in my mind

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Soh had learned a long time ago that home was where you made it, and it was that knowledge that kept her going at this particular moment. Where she would end up remained to be seen, but she knew that she had places that she could go. Flora, for one, would welcome her with open arms - and there were others, too, other friends she'd made and family she'd chosen. She would be fine.

For now, though, she would stay with Zavien. With her people.

Until the end.

Swallowing down a lump in her throat, Soh nodded as Zavien began to delegate tasks. She could handle notices and sending a request to the Grounds. Then she could focus on logistics. It would mean extra paperwork, which seemed absurd, given the circumstances, but it was the truth - and she would process that kind of thing more quickly than Zavien, who would be needed on the ground anyway.

It was his quiet reassurance and the brief hope that it provided that nearly broke her, and she couldn't help but throw her arms quickly around his neck to squeeze him closer for a hug. It was as much for her as it was for him, something to ground her in the present when everything seemed to be falling apart. "Of course we will," she whispered, then released him. "Okay. We'd better get to work."

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Finding comfort in the seamless flow of teamwork, some of the worries softening, their edges blunted by faith in Soh and the effectiveness of their cooperation. If he had to do this alone, he wasn't sure he'd be able to do enough to save the people, to evacuate the city in time. 

The hug surprised him, although it wasn't unwelcome. The moment she wrapped around him, Zavien folded her in his arms, pulling her tight in an instinctual need for contact. No matter how strong he tried to be, the motion proved just how small he felt, a low ache breaking through. He couldn't imagine that Soh was feeling any better, and he did his best to transfer some of his faith and belief through the contact, refusing to release her until she was ready. 

It proved to be sooner than expected, and Zavien relaxed his arms to compose himself. He offered Soh a nod of agreeing determination. "You're right. We have a lot to do." But something still weighed on him, a question he'd asked Safrin just minutes before. 

His tone dimmed, some of the uncertainty returning as he looked to Soh. "How do you think we should tell everyone?" The Notice Board felt... wrong. How could they tell these people that their home was falling apart and they had to leave it through a piece of paper? He didn't want them to find out that way, but what other way was there?

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

The hug grounded her the way words could not, and when Soh released Zavien, she felt a little better, a little stronger, as though she'd absorbed some of his strength. At his question, she let out a sigh. "Notice board is the fastest option," she said, but something about it didn't feel right. "But we risk the people panicking. We need to make sure the evacuation is orderly, or it won't matter how much time we have - we'll end up leaving people behind." She bit her lip, running a hand through her hair before remembering that she'd tied it up. Making a face, she pulled the tie out and put it up again, piling it into an even messier topknot than before.

"We could hold a meeting, but that takes time - to get the word out, to hold the meeting, to field questions..." And time was a luxury they couldn't afford. Soh scrubbed a hand over her face. "Maybe it's worth it, though, so that people have some reassurance. And scheduling a meeting does give us time to confirm with the other regions that people can go there."

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Zavien nodded his head, Soh voicing all the concerns he had about the Notice Board and what it would do to the people. The possibility became less enticing by the second, even if his greatest wish was to spread the news as soon as he could, to get the people moving and clear of the impending doom that was their home. 

The advantages she listed for a meeting of the citizens were all valid, his mouth thinning in concentration as he continued to nod his agreement. Zavien crossed his arms in thought, looking very much like a general standing at the war table. "A meeting or announcement would also make it easier to direct people, giving us a chance to get information on who might go where." He could already imagine delegating a small group of people to collect numbers and concerns, allowing them to project any additional resources they may need for the evacuation and give other regions ample warning of incoming numbers.

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Zavien's shift from worried friend to planning commander calmed Soh in a way that she hadn't anticipated. It reaffirmed, in a way, that she'd been right to cede the throne to him all those seasons ago. He could handle a crisis, and though she'd yet to see him handle one of this magnitude, the way he stood, thoughtfully considering their options, reassured her that somehow, some way, they would all make it out of this. Homeless, perhaps, but alive.

"That's true, too," Soh agreed, already mapping out what they would need to bring to said meeting to keep notes and mark down figures and plans. "Alright then - it sounds like a meeting would be ideal. We'll need to move quickly, but it would be helpful to know where the other regions stand. I'll contact the Grounds immediately, and leave Sunjata and Flora to you." Seemingly with a plan in place, Soh hesitated. Now she was anxious to get moving, but she also didn't want to miss any important information. "Is there anything else I should know or do?"

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

There was still a mountain of work and ideas to sift through, but Zavien felt that they were on the right track, the big picture starting to take shape, even if that image was overshadowed by impending doom. It was a modicum of relief in the chaos, knowing that he wasn't alone with the responsibility. Soh had been just as shocked and devastated by the revelation, and yet she was standing here with him, asking important questions to ensure the safety of their people. 

Tapping a finger against his arm, Zavien recalled the conversation just moments before, cataloguing the other details that may be relevant. His eyes were drawn to the surrounding plants, appreciating the serenity in the midst of insanity. From the glowing flowers to the swaying leaves to the warm earth beneath their feet, it would remain a sanctuary for everyone in Caido, and he took a deep, relieved breath. "Safrin said that the Celestine would be protected by her and Frey." As much as he wished the entire city could be saved, he couldn't convey how grateful he was that this would survive. 

"We'll have to check with Grimm to see if he needs any help, but if anyone is stuck in the city when it's getting ready to fall..." The words hit hard, his face showing the weight of the spoken truth. He had to swallow, taking another deep breath to steer himself back on the right path, adding softly, "it might be a good idea to send them here."

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

It was strange, as they stood in the midst of the serenity of the Celestine, to imagine that their entire region was to be upended, destroyed in the coming weeks. Right now, all was calm; the residents of Stormbreak were living their lives - on edge, perhaps, thanks to the tremors, but without the burden of this knowledge that Soh and Zavien now shared. For just this moment, it was just the two of them against the unthinkable: the end of their beloved city.

The Luminary gnawed on her lip as she thought, brow furrowed as she started compiling mental lists of things to do and items to transport and letters to write. It took a moment for Zavien's words to register, but when they did, she blinked, then nodded. "Good," she said gently. "At least - at least a part of the city will survive." Even if it was just a small remnant, in the grand scheme of things.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

He saw the distant look in Soh's eyes, recognized the shock and panic taking hold like he'd done with plenty of soldiers. And yet she wasn't a soldier. He couldn't clasp her on the shoulder and tell her everything was going to work out when it most certainly wasn't.

Softening his features, Zavien let the air of authority and responsibility diminish, some of the quiet sorrow returning as he laid a gentle hand on her arm. "But we can talk more about this later. I think..." His smile was soft, the mournful glow of a fading sunset, sharing the sympathy of a passing day and the sadness that came with it. "We need a moment to process this."

His form curled forward slightly, a shield to block out the stresses of their reality and the heartbreak to come. It was a tender strength, an offer of comfort before they had to face the darkness. "Can I walk you somewhere? Or do anything?" He'd also be willing to leave her if that's what she wanted, although he wasn't sure that was a good idea at the moment.

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

There was a term that Soh had come across in her various explorations and readings: shell shock. From her understanding, it was a type of post-traumatic stress disorder that came from prolonged exposure to warfare. She wondered, vaguely, if her experiences - being kidnapped by the Family, trying to organize taking the city back, battling to save Stormbreak from the Void, and now watching her home crumble to pieces - qualified her for such a diagnosis. Or did one have to be a soldier for something like that to affect them?

She was no soldier. She was simply a girl trying to do her best by her people and failing at every turn. She had contributed to saving them from the Void, it was true, but now it hardly seemed to matter. Stormbreak was doomed anyway, no matter how hard they'd tried or what they'd given up to save it.

Zavien's offer was kind; that he would put her comfort over his own in that moment spoke volumes to Soh. She recognized a kindred spirit - someone who would rather focus their energy outward than collapse into despair - and appreciated it more than she could say. So she did what she always tried to do: she rallied. "Let's - let's go somewhere. I don't care where. Maybe up to the Spyglass or something. Watch the sunset. Take it in. Just - for something we can remember, you know?"

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

If Soh had voiced her internal concerns, Zavien would have reassured her that the battle she faced might not have consisted of primarily metal or blood, but it was just as traumatizing, and he would never minimize the impact that could have on someone. She was more a warrior than most.

For now, he only saw the quiet strength, the determination not to drown in the sorrows, and he did what he could to encourage that. His smile was soft, trying to project an air of lightness and a bit of playfulness that felt extremely distant at the moment. "I think that's a great idea. I'm pretty sure I have some sweets in my secret office stash that need finishing." He wasn't much of a sweets person himself, but it always seemed to ease a mood, to brighten someone's day. He also kept a stash of jerky for the more savory folks, and a small liquor collection for those who needed something stronger. If that was what Soh needed, he'd willingly offer it, but he didn't think alcohol was going to help them process their grief. 

Looking to the sky, he squinted for a moment, measuring. Then he tilted his head towards the path, his hand hovering gently near to guide her along as he offered another attempt at a smile. "Come on. Looks like we have about an hour until sunset." It would take them about twenty minutes to walk. Just enough time for them to get there and settle in before the sun dipped below the horizon.

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

If Zavien had offered the liquor, Soh might have taken him up on it, but if she’d learned anything over her LongNight bender in Torchline, it was that drinking didn’t seem to solve her problems. Especially not one of this magnitude, one that, as of yet, she was one of the only two people to know about in all of Caido. The weight of it was staggering. She wasn’t quite sure how the two of them weren’t yet on their knees from the burden they carried, but here they were, struggling onward, managing to smile and put on a brave face, if only for each other.

Later, perhaps, when she was alone in her home - maybe that would be when she gave in to her grief and despair. Even if the little apartment over her boarded-up shop hadn’t felt as much like home in the time she’d been back in Stormbreak as it had before her abduction, it was still hers, and the thought now of losing it was nearly as heartbreaking as the thought of Stormbreak itself falling from the sky.

But for now, she fell into step with Zavien, in part to take in her beloved city one last time, and in part so that she wouldn’t have to be alone with her thoughts just yet. ”What’s your favorite memory here?” she asked as they walked. ”We should do some sort of… memorial. Later, you know? With all the best parts of the city remembered.”

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Guiding them away from the Celestine, Zavien looked to the city, appreciative of the distraction Soh provided, the one that kept him from imaging each building crumbling from the sky, the screams of Breakers echoing in the city. Instead, he caught glimpses of places where he'd laughed and smiled, places he'd made friendships and memories. 

A ghost of a smile formed, his tone and green gaze distant as he waded through different past moments and experiences. "There are a lot to pick from. This is where I grew up, raised by a community of people who cared so deeply for one another, who showed me what true strength looks like. It's where I became a Dragoon and bonded with Sol, gaining opportunities to fight for what I believe in, to fight for the people I care about. It's where I fell in love..." The smile darkened a shade, the brush of remembrance tender against the grief before he was sweeping it away to offer Soh a brighter expression. "It's always been about the people I care for, and I think all my favorite memories of Stormbreak are of them."

He looks ahead again, conscious of Sol trotting close behind, of the wind carrying the scent of smoke and dried earth, of the sun's fading heat. It feels like a dream, like he's wandering through a moment that hasn't quite solidified. Zavien knows distantly that it's the shock, the reality attempting to catch them as they try desperately to keep ahead of it. 

Tilting his head, he keeps pushing on, reminiscing to keep the image of Stormbreak strong in his mind. "I remember my mom smiling when she caught me feeding the stray cats what little food we had. And Erika filling my life with so much warmth when she passed - with equal parts hugs and delicious food. And Koa helping me with my fear of heights as much as my lack of confidence, becoming the brother I'd never had. And the kids in the Silk Houses reminding me that we're never too old to play and never struggling too much to laugh." A wisp of a laugh escapes, recalling the bright grins and chiming giggles that surrounded him as they formed adventures in their mind.

Zavien shakes his head, the airy laugh fading to a humored smile. "I don't think I can pick just one. Do you think we can make a memorial big enough for all of them?" His eyes are teasing when they find Soh next to him, even as he wonders how they might honor the city and it's people when it's gone. 

Feeling like he's doing too much of the talking - and unashamedly curious - he asks, "What's yours? Your favorite memory?"

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Listening to Zavien talk about their shared homeland was something that brought a smile to Soh’s face - a little sad, perhaps, but no less genuine for the emotion in it. There was fondness there, affection even, as she considered for the first time what a younger Zavien might have been like - feeding stray cats, becoming a Dragoon, bonding with Sol; of the memories he listed, Soh could relate in some way to most of them, and had it not been so horrendously hot, she might have looped an arm companionably through his just because their shared grief had forged a new level to their relationship. They were no longer simply colleagues; they were friends, too. ”We can make as big a memorial as we want,” she said, and hoped fervently that her words would hold true.

As for her own memories, Soh’s smile turned nostalgic as she thought back. ”It’s hard to choose just one,” she laughed. ”I’m not from here originally; I moved years ago, after I left the Hollowed Grounds. I’ll always remember the first time I stopped foot in Stormbreak. It was so big, and there were so many people, and I remember thinking there was so much grey stone - but there was color, too, in all the places no one really thought to look. I think that was my favorite part - finding all the hidden pieces of the city.

“But my favorite memory?” she mused, humming thoughtfully as she considered. ”Probably the day I met Koa. I was minding my own business and there he was, standing at the edge of the city with Pip, acting like he was going to toss his poor dragon off the edge. To ‘teach her to fly,’ he said, but I remember I was so upset. Can you imagine?” She laughed again, the sound lighter now. It had been ages since she’d thought back to that day, to being that girl, to how innocent and wonderful and perfect everything had felt. ”Anyway, he ended up showing me this little restaurant, a real hole-in-the-wall place, and it had the best view off the side of the cliffs. It’s still my favorite restaurant.”

Her throat closed briefly as she remembered, suddenly and vividly, that it would no longer exist in a few weeks’ time. Clearing her throat, Soh glanced at Zavien. ”But I think that was the day that I realized that I wanted to be here. Because when I looked out over the clouds, it just… clicked, I guess, that this was home.” Not because of Koa, but because of this place. Maybe the fact that Koa was a part of that story was why she’d had such a hard time letting him go.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

The physical contact might have been welcomed, that part of him having run on gruff hugs from relative-like relations and camaraderie pats on the arm. He craved the familiar way he'd held hands with Lena, or the bumping of shoulders with Koa, the nonchalant connection that always did more for him than soothing words or a kind presence. But that didn't mean he took Soh for granted, appreciating the attempts at a lighthearted conversation. Otherwise, he might have found himself in a darker place, his efforts draining every emotional reserve until he was nothing more than a man on a mission. 

For now, he could lose himself in Soh's story, nodding his head as she spoke of towering memorials and new homes, laughing at the image of Koa throwing Pip off a cliff. "It doesn't sound like he was any different then." Smiling, he tried to latch onto the positives of her story, finding the humor and joy in the small moments she described, but he couldn't stop thinking that it wouldn't be long until they'd be forced to walk that journey, to find a new place to belong and build community. He wondered if it would be easier or harder for Soh, having walked the path before. Would she be at peace, knowing she could rebuild herself as she had before? Or would she struggle, wondering if she was destined to repeat the same cycle?

The Spyglass grew in the distance, just as the sun was beginning its descent towards the horizon. Zavien tilted his head, considering her situation as much as everyone else's, a small smile wisping across his features like the promise of another day with each sunset. "I want everyone to have that feeling, to be at peace with their new homes." Looking to Soh, he nodded his head, a determination straightening his shoulders, hope alight in his eyes. "Let's promise not to settle until every Breaker gets that same experience."

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.