[SE] stained glass windows in my mind

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Zavien listened as any good friend should, commenting in the right places and laughing where appropriate, but it didn’t feel as lighthearted as it should. It wasn’t Zavien - he was trying, just like she was - but just the situation that they found themselves in, the looming deadline that threatened on the not-so-distant horizon. But she tried, latching onto any chance she had at normalcy, just one last time.

If Zavien had asked, she’d have likely said that it would be harder this time to leave her home. The Hollowed Grounds had been the home she’d been born to, and she hadn’t been particularly happy there. Stormbreak, though… that was the home she’d chosen, for better or worse, and given everything she had to lead. Sure, she knew she had the resilience to rebuild… but at what cost? And how many more times could she be expected to do it without shattering?

But he didn’t ask, so she simply nodded along to his request. ”Promise,” she agreed. It was an easy thing to agree to, given that she likely wouldn’t have allowed herself to do anything differently, however much a part of her wanted to run back to Flora’s and hide from her grief and the weight that it carried. No, these were her people, and she would be there for them until the end.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

As they approached the base of the Spyglass, Zavien slowed to look intently at Soh, every word carrying meaning as he clarified, "That includes you, Soh." Not just all the people they'd served, but themselves too. They deserved to find happiness and a new place to feel comfortable, a place they could finally find peace from the burdens of leadership. They'd both been through so much that it seemed impossible right now, a fantasy that would never come to pass, but Zavien had nothing if he didn't have hope, and he clung to it even now. 

It was something he knew he'd struggle with, something he suspected Soh would too: caring for themselves even after all the work was done. He always managed to find more to do, another person to care for that wasn't himself. But he wouldn't let her do that, and Zavien said the words again, making sure she understood every detail this time, "No matter how long it takes, we'll find a new home for everyone."

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

The Spyglass loomed, larger than life, and they paused in its shadow for Zavien to fix Soh with an intense stare. His words resonated through her, their timbre registering and drawing her throat taut with sudden emotion. She didn’t say anything for a moment, too overcome not just with Zavien’s thoughtfulness, but with the idea that there was - that there could be - anything after this. Right now, Stormbreak’s fall felt so all-consuming that it was hard to imagine its aftermath. Where she would go, what she would do… it all felt like smoke in her grasp, evading her every attempt to catch it. So all she could do was nod, offering a sad, silent smile to thank Zavien for thinking of her, too, not just the people that they served together.

And then she started to climb.

They crested the stairs up to the top of the Spyglass just as the sun began to sink, and Soh went immediately to lean against the railing, turning her face into its lingering rays. At least there was a breeze up here, and it caressed her cheeks as she gazed out over the burnished city, tugging at a few tendrils of hair and skating over her exposed navel. Looking back, she smiled crookedly at Zavien. ”Have you traveled much, outside of here and King’s End?” she asked. ”There are some beautiful places in the Wilds, but nothing quite compares to this.”

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

He refused to let go of the topic until Soh was nodding, until the promise was sealed with silent agreement. Feeling that the point had been made, and planning to continue reinforcing it later, Zavien allowed them to enter the Spyglass. He caught a flash of Sol choosing the sky over endless stairs, not blaming the dragon when he stared up at the daunting path, but he didn't stop, eager to reach the top before the sun could set.

The determination paid off when he stepped out the door onto the open portion of balcony. Wind coiled through his hair, cooling the sweat that layered over his exposed skin. Even in the fading daylight, the heat was stifling, made bearable only by the clear breeze that filled his lungs and pushed through the thin fabric of his tank top. Taking a deep breath, he took a moment to appreciate the clarity it provided, emptying his mind of the worries growing roots there. 

He only moved again when Soh turned to look at him, her golden hair gilded in the setting sun. Nodding his head, Zavien stepped to her side as he said, "I spent a lot of time in the Greatwoods during those months after my death." He didn't lean against the railing with quite as much confidence as Soh, pressing his hands down rather than out as he stared towards the horizon. "But no, nothing beats this view." The sunrays painted the skyline in various shades of red and orange, bathing the city in a blaze of fading glory. It glowed peacefully, a city blissfully unaware of the tragedy to come. 

Wanting to distract himself as he soaks in the horizon, Zavien asked, "What other places are on the list?" Maybe once the people were settled, he'd finally have the time to travel for enjoyment rather than purpose.

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Soh hadn’t thought about Zavien’s death in quite some time, but she softened at the mention of it, understanding overtaking her expression. It had been her fault that he’d died, after all - he’d been trying to protect her after she’d been hit, and she wasn’t sure that she’d ever properly thanked him. But dredging all that up now felt heavy, and she wanted desperately to linger in the light for just a while longer. ”I spent time in the Greatwood between leaving the Grounds and coming here,” she said. ”I liked it there. It’s quiet. Peaceful. Everything is so… at one with nature, you know?”

As for other places on the list, Soh couldn’t help but light up a bit at the question. She’d traveled extensively for her cartography, and she had quite a few recommendations to give. ”How much time do you have?” she joked, eyes sparkling briefly with a hint of mischief. ”Because I’ve been a lot of places, and most of them are worth visiting.”

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

He listened to Soh talk of the Greatwood, recalling the positive parts of his experience rather than the existential dread that had followed his every step. The forested region had been welcoming, particularly the fae and other residents who taught him what it meant to integrate into nature. It had been nice to train and recover amongst the trees, and he hummed a soft agreement through a distant smile. "Mhm." Perhaps he would need to visit again when everything settled, heal again amongst the nature of Caido.

Grinning at her joke, Zavien answered the rhetorical question with something genuine and lighthearted, anticipation brightening his own features. "I have plenty of time." The announcement and preparations could wait for tomorrow. For now, he could give Soh the distraction she needed - the distraction he needed - for however long it might last.

Pretending for a moment that he wasn't the leader of a dying city, Zavien eased back, his weight supported by the railing. He acted like a man with no ties, free with an endless list of possibilities written on the horizon, all for him to explore. "Where should I go first?"

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

It was easy, for a moment, to pretend that nothing had changed, that this was just another day, another meeting having ended in ice cream and a walk up to the Spyglass, that the only thing different was the shift in friendship between Soh and Zavien. The Luminary hummed thoughtfully as she turned away from the setting sun, leaning back against the railing on both elbows and tilting her head back as she considered. The setting sun set her hair alight, the breeze stirring it prettily against her head even in its messy bun.

”Okay, so there’s a place in the Oerwoud, the Leap of Faith? The hike is a pain - I always just fly it, but you’d have to go the long way - but it’s so worth it for the view. It’s this massive waterfall, and from the top you can see for eons. I jumped off once, just for fun - not that you should, I mean, please don’t do that - and it was incredible. Oh, but I have a pegasus shift now, so, if you wanted to jump off, I’d totally catch you.”

Realizing she was rambling, she laughed - the first carefree sound she’d made all day - and grinned at Zavien. ”The Greatwood you’ve been to, of course, and then there’s the Climb. It’s always disgustingly hot, but if you can get past that, Frey’s Breath is totally worth the trek to get there. I’d avoid the Feverlands - it’s disgusting - but parts of Hak Etme aren’t bad, either. The Sea of Dreams is pretty, if you hit it at the right time.”

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Zavien didn't mind the rambling. It meant Soh was relaxed enough to lose herself in the conversation, and that made it easier for him to do the same, a trickle of soft laughter falling from his lips as he shook his head. "I'm sure the view is incredible, but I don't think I'll be jumping off. I'm not really a big fan of heights..." The grin he gave her was a tad sheepish, enough where she might notice how he didn't press out on the railing or look down towards the city below, the irony of it all not lost on him. He could manage if he focused on other things, but it didn't mean he was keen on the idea of jumping off a cliff. It wasn't that he didn't trust Soh to catch him, but it seemed like an unnecessary experience he could live without. 

Sharing in the brighter mood, Zavien could almost forget about their city falling and just appreciate the view before him. He smiled at her laughter, not stifling it despite the darkness that lingered on his peripheral. Pointedly ignoring it, he said, "Frey's Breath is nice, although I haven't been in some time." Then he tilted his head, curious as he asked, "When is the right time for the Sea of Dreams?"

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

”No jumping, then,” Soh agreed, smiling warmly. Now that he mentioned it, she noted the way he didn’t quite lean against the railing and the way he looked out over the city rather than down at it. At his sheepishness, though, she wrinkled her nose. ”When I first left the Grounds, I was terrified of skyships. I had a snowy owl shift and had been flying for ages, but something about skyships was just… not my thing.” It might not be exactly the same as a fear of heights, but it was something she could share to maybe help Zavien to feel that he wasn’t alone in having a dislike of something that others seemed totally fine with.

The sun sank lower, beginning to disappear beneath the horizon. Soh watched it, longing, for a moment, to leap into one of her winged shifts and fly into it, until all their problems faded away from the sheer brilliance of the sun’s rays. ”If you can catch the Sea of Dreams after a rainstorm, it’s gorgeous,” she said. ”It’s these salt flats, right, except after a big rain, water pools on the surface and reflects the sky perfectly. Even better if you can go at night. It’s like being surrounded by stars.” And given that Zavien was a Safrin kind of guy, she could imagine that that might appeal to him.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

His lips closed into a pleased smile, glad to know she wouldn't be pushing him off the cliff in some misguided attempt to cure his dislike of elevation. In an attempt to make her feel better about her own fears, he added, "Yeah. I don't like skyships much either." Still, he tilted his head to look out at the glowing horizon again, imagining her winged shifts and whether his opinions would change if he were in control of the 'fall.' The irony curled at his mouth, amusement clear in his eyes. "I imagine it would be hard to fly if you were scared of heights though."

Despite being a 'Safrin kind of guy,' Zavien would always prefer the sun, his mind filled more with the sunset view ahead of him than the starry one Soh painted, even if he had no doubts it was beautiful. He spared a glance towards the Attuned, raising an intrigued brow. "Sounds magnificent. How did you know to go at night?" Had someone recommended it? Or had she stumbled upon the view serendipitously?

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Thankfully, Soh was not one to try and cure others' fears for them; that was a decision that only they could make, and all she could do was support if and when they chose to overcome. She remembered teaching Tal to swim, all those years ago, and her mouth twitched into an affectionate smile. It had been an even trade at the time - he'd taken her on the Peregrine in exchange for swimming lessons - but it was still a favored memory even now.

The sun sank ever lower, the city below changing from gilded brilliance to a faded, dusty orange. "I didn't," she laughed in response to the latest query. "I just ended up there on accident. Right place, right time." It had been back when she'd just been an explorer for the sake of exploring - back before queendom and responsibilities and relationships gone wrong. "It was a long time ago, but I'm sure it hasn't changed much."

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Knowing that Caido had a habit of putting people in the right place at the right time, Zavien smiled at the coincidence that now granted him the knowledge to seek it intentionally. "Then I'll be sure to visit." Perhaps not for a moment, but when things had settled again and he needed something bright and brilliant to see, he'd find the Sea of Dreams. 

As the sun began to sink and the world took on a macabre hue, the somber mood returned. He didn't push it away anymore but neither did he let it crush him. The sorrow was soft, a gentle shadow across the golden glow of his expression as he said, "Thank you, Soh. For choosing to stay. For being here when you had every right to leave." It was a sentiment he'd expressed before, but one he thought pertinent to say again, to thank her for being there when their world was ending. 

Looking to her in the last bit of sunlight, appreciation curved his lips up in a sad smile. "I wouldn't want to do this on my own." And although he hated pressing this burden on her, he was selfishly relieved not to face it all alone.

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

A quiet fell between them as the sun set, the city falling into shadow as the last, lingering rays clung to the horizon. With the going of the light went the optimism that had temporarily taken root, and something lively faded from Soh's eyes as the darkness of night crept in. Despite the heat, she felt suddenly cold, like her very heart had stopped beating in her chest. Shivering, she moved to wrap her arms around herself, still leaning on the railing as though it were the only thing keeping her from falling over.

But it wasn't just about her in this moment. She and Zavien had come this far together, and she wasn't about to let him down by falling apart now. So she smiled sadly, leaning to bump her shoulder against his. "I haven't done much," she admitted. "But I'm here now. I'll do everything I can to make this easier." And gods knew there was plenty to do. Organizing an evacuation of this magnitude... it was going to take everything in them and then some to pull it off.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

The bump to his shoulder elicited an airy chuckle, his hand reaching up to rest on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, but let me know when it gets to be too much." He wouldn't reject her help - not when he knew how much he would need it - but he refused to let her overwork, refused to burn her out. After all, he knew they're greatest power, and he offered a reassuring smile that lifted despite the heavy responsibility they wore. 

"We're not alone." Not in their pain or grief, and not in the work to be done. And whether she needed extra hands to lift a heavy box or a set of ears to hear her frustrations, he'd be there for her as much as any of the other Breakers. His hand squeezed again, needing the confidence in his words as much as she did. "We'll get through this."

And with the sky darkened and the stars appearing, he led them back down into the city, hoping to find rest before the important work began. 

[FIN]

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love.