deep blue, but you painted me golden

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Soh continued to write, following her stream of consciousness as it drifted here and there. She always ended up back at Zavien, and how lucky she was, and how amazing the night had been. Sometimes her thoughts wandered to something less kind, to the fear of somehow managing to mess it all up. Was this relationship one that she’d be permitted to keep? Or was she destined to burn it all down as she had done so many times before?

A soft snore interrupted her, and Soh paused in her writing to glance over at Zavien. He was peaceful in sleep, his relaxed features lit by the ethereal glow of starlight. Gently, slowly, Soh reached out to brush her fingertips against his cheek, the touch so light it was hardly there at all. Even without anyone to see, her expression was full of affection; she was already in so deep, but despite her journal ramblings, she couldn’t bring herself to care. This was something good , and, as she’d decided earlier, if it was a dream, she wasn’t eager to wake up.

As tempting as it might have been to curl up beside Zavien for a nap of her own, Soh resisted the urge, unwilling to leave them so vulnerable when they were still out in the open, where anyone or anything might find them. I wonder, she wrote suddenly, If this means he trusts me to watch his back. I hope so. I want him to know he can count on me. I want him to know I’ll do anything in my power not to leave him, to keep us both safe. I know Lena’s death weighs on him, even though we haven’t really talked about it. I just hope I can be strong enough to stay safe for him.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Sleep caught him like the soft tug of a gentle current pulling him down. Since his death, his sleep had been plagued by one thing or another. Memories of pain and regret, the sound of screams, purple flooding the land, Lena's cold body in his arms, Stormbreak crumbling. If it wasn't one thought, it was another. 

When the nightmares had first started, he'd barely slept, scared of facing those emotions every night. He'd become a shell, tired and hollow, dreading when his eyes would close again. Even after time and distance, talking through his struggles with friends, the nights were restless. But as time passed and the traumas piled onto one another, he'd come to accept that sleep wasn't the reprieve it used to be. He grew callouses, facing his sleep with a quiet armor, knowing that he could survive the night no matter what memories were dredged up because they weren't real and he'd survived them before. 

Somehow, all that changed a few weeks ago. That night with Soh... He didn't understand it, but having her so close, wrapped in his arms, ingrained in his thoughts, he'd slept deep and without interruption. Nothing dark or menacing broke into his dreams, no thoughts of death or pain or loss. He'd just slept. He hadn't lied that morning when he admitted to sleeping better than he had in months. And that was because of her. 

Even now, when he should have been concerned about what may linger in the shadows, Zavien was lulled into the comfort of her, the way she made him feel safe and secure enough to let go. He rested with one arm propped behind his head, another on his stomach, one leg crossed over the other like he was just enjoying the view; but the deep rumble of his snores gave away the slip of his thoughts, exposing the easy slip in his armor.

That’s How We’re Gonna Win.
Not Fighting What We Hate,
Saving What We Love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Nightmares were something that Soh was intimately familiar with, plagued by her own terrors that never failed to take hold when she slipped beneath the covers. It had gotten so bad at one point that she'd avoided sleep entirely, working on this or that until she was so exhausted that she finally fell into a fitful sleep. Things had improved in recent seasons, since the Family had departed - but she still woke occasionally in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, heart racing, clutching at the sheets as though they could protect her.

She thought back to the morning she'd woken beside Zavien, and how he'd said he'd slept the best he had in a long time. The same could be said for her, though she rather thought that stemmed from the fact that she had never grown accustomed to sleeping alone after spending so many nights whispering secrets with Jude, back before they dated, when they were just two kids and things like romance had been so far away.

Something nostalgic threatened in her chest, and she dimly recognized the sense that had eluded her for so long: safety. She felt safe with Zavien in a way that she hadn't in a long time, like he really saw her, understood her. It was different from anything she'd felt before, and she relaxed into the sensation with a profound sense of relief, like she was finally shedding a skin that she'd worn for so long that it was no longer recognizable.

Relationships are hard, she wrote. But not with Zavien. I thought it would be, when we woke up that morning, but he's surprised me at every turn. Maybe this is what Flora meant when she talked about how even the hard stuff felt right with Kai. A small, fluttering hope blossomed in her chest, fragile and new and bright.

Her thoughts drifted like the breeze as time passed beneath the stars, the scratching sound of her writing accompanied by the deep rumble of Zavien's snores. At some point, she carefully unfolded an extra blanket and laid it over his prone body, not wanting him to grow cold in sleep.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Zavien rarely displayed sharpness or angles, he was strong muscles wrapped in warmth and softness, but never harshness. And yet, sleep seemed to soften even that, his features looking younger and relaxed in their resting state. The echo of smiles and laughter lingered, as if they might appear at a moment's notice, never far beneath the surface. 

He drifted easily in a quiet nothingness, floating through a dreamless sleep. Silence was like a physical presence, leaving no room for thoughts, let alone worries or doubts. It was an all-encompassing peace that he rarely felt. 

When Soh pulled the blanket over him, he didn't stir, snoring a low rumble through his chest. Sol had since landed, content to lay by his companion's feet like a sentinel guard dog and twitch his tail whenever Zavien's obnoxious sleeping amused him. 

A loud, rattling snore suddenly broke through the air, scraping against his throat with such force that he startled partially from his slumber. His eyes blinked sleepily up, squinting into the sky as he instinctually adjusted his arms and took a deep, full breath of crisp air. Then he settled again, ready to drift back into sleep unless otherwise interrupted.

That’s How We’re Gonna Win.
Not Fighting What We Hate,
Saving What We Love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

As Soh alternated between writing and doodling, Anani coasted down from the sky to land at her side, curling up in a little ball beside her on the blanket. Soon the little cloud wyrm had joined Zavien in sleep, leaving just Soh and Sol to stand guard. Soh smiled at the dragon, offering a quick scratch on the head before she went back to her work.

This continued for a time, during which Soh felt utterly peaceful. Every now and then, she would glance over at Zavien, whose features were soft with sleep; she would admire him in the starlight, her gaze ghosting over his relaxed face, before returning to her journaling. Eventually, she ran out of things to write about. Stifling a yawn, she leaned back, stretching her arms out behind her as she tilted her head up to the starry sky. It was somehow still clear, and she marveled in the clarity of the stars.

A particularly harsh snore made her jump, her head swiveling to regard Zavien as he stirred in his sleep. Nearby, some animal or other must have been similarly startled; the grasses rustled, a stick cracking underfoot as it scurried off to some other, quieter location. Setting her journal aside for the moment, Soh shifted to lay back against the blankets, moving so that her arm pressed against Zavien's. Instead of studying the stars, though, she took a moment just to watch him, content regardless of if he woke or fell back into his peaceful sleep.

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Stradling the mental space between sleep and wakefulness, the sound of a snapping twig broke through the silence of his mind. Slowly, other sounds began drifting into his awareness, insects chittering, a breeze bending the grass, an owl in the distance. He didn't jolt awake, but eased into his mind like a slow stretch, widening his perception until the pressure of his eyelids became too heavy. 

Zavien blinked, his pupils adjusting to the darkness around him, taking in the stars and glowing moonlight. Bits and pieces of reality flowed back to him in a gentle stream as he wet his mouth and adjusted beneath his blanket - slowly remembering why he was laying on a hill beneath the stars. It had his eyes seeking her out, his head drifting sideways until he could see her next to him. He smiled like a drunk, still unfocused as he huffed a hoarse laugh. "Sorry, I'd meant to keep you company."

That’s How We’re Gonna Win.
Not Fighting What We Hate,
Saving What We Love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Soh watched as wakefulness slowly reclaimed Zavien, memorizing every minute shift of his brow, the color of eyes turned silver by moonlight, each leisurely blink that brought him back to consciousness. The rustle of the grass around them was accented by a cricket chirping nearby and the hoot of a distant owl; Zavien's hoarse laugh was low and unfocused, drawing a sweet smile to Soh's lips. "It's okay," she murmured. "Just having you nearby is nice. It makes me feel..." She paused, searching for the right word and coming up empty. "... happy."

She rolled her head to face upwards again, gazing at the twinkling stars with a relaxed half-smile on her face. Nearby, Anani shifted in her sleep, rolling onto her back to expose her belly, looking not unlike a dog stretched out beneath the stars. "I wonder what time it is," Soh mused. She'd lost all track of time as she'd journaled, and now she peered up at the sky, the answer clearly written in the stars for those who knew to look. "Oh, look!" she said suddenly, pointing upward as a shooting star sparkled across the sky. "Make a wish."

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

Although he'd intended to be more of an active participant during her journaling (and eating the many delicious desserts while he waited), he was grateful to hear his lapse in focus hadn't offended her - even if he'd disappointed himself. He didn't let the mistake weight on them now though, not as he smiled to find her still so beautifully framed by the night sky. He reached across the space between them, letting his hand find hers like it might prove that she'd taken the words from his mouth, to prove that he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. 

Smothering a too-bright smile at her musings, Zavien tilted his head to the open expanse above. "Late," he said. It was hard to tell how long he'd slept. It could have been ten minutes or it could have been two hours, but the twinkling stars were the same, a curtain of celestial majesty graciously exposed for this one night. 

Like it wasn't special enough already, a flash of light arced across the sky, leaving an afterimage that was already fading in his mind. If Soh hadn't said anything, he might have thought it all in his sleep-drunk head, but as she demanded he make a wish, Zavien didn't hesitate. He closed his eyes, memorizing this feeling as he thought, I wish things could always be like this. And for a frozen second, he imagined it was, like time would never end and they'd always be this excited for the beginning of something new. He hoped it was a feeling they never lost, an optimism that would persist no matter what other obstacles they'd have to overcome. 

When Zavien opened his eyes again, his lips were curved up in quiet contentment. He glanced towards Soh, curious to know "What did you wish for?"

That’s How We’re Gonna Win.
Not Fighting What We Hate,
Saving What We Love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

Soh had always been a dreamer; that much was evident in what she'd managed to do in her life thus far. Why else would she have dared to build a thriving cartography business, or lead Stormbreak, or chase after love? Still, it was rare for her to wish upon a star. Maybe she just didn't spend enough time stargazing - or maybe she had just grown jaded over the years, no longer believing that her deepest wishes would come true.

But tonight, all of that was starting to change, and when she saw the shooting star, what else was there to do but make a wish, even if it felt like all of her wishes were already coming true? Closing her eyes, the brilliance of the meteor burned into her retinas, Soh said a silent prayer to the heavens. I wish for this relationship to be strong. I wish for it to last. I wish... that I won't mess it up.

Oh, she knew there would be ups and downs. She had learned to expect that of any relationship. But she wanted to bottle this feeling of ease, this sense that everything was going to work out. She wanted to know that no matter what the future might throw at them, they could overcome it together.

Soh opened her eyes. "For us," she answered softly. "For things to continue to go well, and for us to figure out whatever may come together." She glanced over at Zavien. "What did you wish for?"

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia

Zavien

His eyes watched for the tiny shifts, capturing the quirk of her lips and the gentle brush of her lashes across her cheeks, the wind catching a strand of hair to twirl in its grasp. He wanted to reach out and feel it for himself, to memorize the texture between his fingers. 

Before he could think much on it, he was propped on an elbow, his hand outstretched to claim the strand from the wind. He tucked it behind her ear as she talked, noticing how soft and light it felt, giving way easily to his directions. His head tilted at her words, sequestering them in a small pocket behind his sternum as he cradled her cheek, content to admire her with quiet affection as he echoed the sentiments. "For this to never end." With his back to the world, he leaned into this - her - ignoring all the disbelief and amazement in equal measures, unable to comprehend how far this feeling went.

That’s How We’re Gonna Win.
Not Fighting What We Hate,
Saving What We Love.

Got no plans and I've got no money
Gone are the days of milk and honey

As Zavien reached out to capture a stray lock of her hair in his fingertips, tucking it sweetly behind her ear, Soh couldn’t help the little flutter of butterflies in her stomach at the intimate gesture. Smiling up at him as she shared her wish, it was with utter contentment that she listened to his. It shouldn’t surprise her that they wished for such similar things; they were very similar people, after all, and they wanted the same things out of this relationship. But it was still nice to hear. How she’d managed to get so lucky was beyond her, but she was going to grab onto the feeling with both hands and never let go.

The stars continued to twinkle overhead as Soh and Zavien talked into the wee hours of the morning, tucked under a blanket until dawn kissed the horizon. And when it finally rose, Soh was convinced that it was the most beautiful sunrise she’d ever seen.

fin

Green eyes and a head of gold
I'll give you two dollars if you save my soul

Sohalia