a rollercoaster kind of rush

Your past and mine are parallel lines

The walk back from the shrine was a blur.

Her heartbeat thudded in her ears, a steady ba-dump, ba-dump that somehow told her that this wasn't an exceedingly strange dream. This was real.

She was pregnant.

Pregnant.

Her first stop was the clinic, where she asked for a test just to confirm. It wasn't that she didn't believe Safrin - how could she not, when the goddess had been so very clear? - but there was a part of her that just knew there had to be a mistake.

There wasn't.

Armed with instructions to eat well and rest, and with some tips to handle her morning sickness - morning sickness, what?! - Soh returned to Zavien's house, overwhelmed by the new information she'd been given. How was she going to tell him? What was he going to say?

When she opened the door, he wasn't home. Realizing the time, she thought that he must have gone to get them dinner - it was well after twilight now, and stars twinkled outside the window as she shut the door behind her, mocking her with their quiet serenity. For a moment, she simply stood, shock cocooning her, keeping her relatively calm, because she was certain that at any moment, she would wake up in Zavien's arms and shake off the silly dream she was having.

How could she be pregnant?

It wasn't that she was upset, precisely. It was just that when she'd thought of having children, she'd thought that would be years down the road, preferably after discussing the topic with her boyfriend. What stretched before her now was a yawning chasm of the unknown, and the longer she stood thinking about it, the more anxious she became. She struggled to keep a hold on that quiet calm that had pervaded since Safrin had written those words on the parchment, to keep her heart rate down, to keep the stress at bay.

Stress was bad for the baby.

Soh took a deep breath. Her gaze fell on the couch, but the idea of just sitting and waiting for Zavien to come home was terrifying. What came next would determine the course of their entire relationship - of their entire lives. Sure that it was going to be a challenging conversation, Soh's gaze fell to the couch pillows. It felt absurd to make a pillow nest, but at least it was something to pass the time. But there was cause for celebration, too. So, gathering up an armful of blankets, Soh set to work.

When Zavien walked in the door, he would find a pillow nest on the floor, surrounded by chairs holding up a blanket fort - a strange combination promising an equally strange conversation.

Just then, the door knob rattled. Soh's heart leapt into her throat, its rate spiking sharply in her chest. Turning towards the door, she fiddled with the ring on her right hand, twisting it around and around on her finger. The expression on her face was a strange mixture of anticipation and anxiety, her silver gaze still shiny with shock and perhaps tinged with fear. 

But there was hope, too: hope that at the end of the day, they could celebrate what was sure to be an exciting addition to their lives.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

They'd agreed to meet at his place for dinner. Soh still hadn't told him what her quest was, but she'd mentioned that she planned to stop by the shrine, and Zavien figured that was a good sign she'd finished it. The spike in her heartrate led him to believe she'd been excited by whatever item Safrin had helped her with, which meant congratulations were in order. And congratulations required cake.

Humming off-key to himself, he shifted the plastic bag hanging at his side, making sure the containers hadn't shifted as he moved to open the door. It turned easily - the lock never having been used before - and the door swung open for the second time this evening. Sol saw her first, chirping as he trotted confidently inside while Zavien paused in the doorway, his eyes snagging first on the woman he loved, a smile instinctually forming on his lips. 

It faltered at the expression she wore, to see the anxiety there, twisting around like the ring on her finger. Concern rose against his stomach as he took in her physical form, scanning for injuries or obvious signs of distress, suddenly on full alert. His brows slowly lowered as worry wormed its way up to his chest. He noted the strange amalgamation of pillows and blankets strewn across the living room. Fabric sagged between chairs, overhanging a pile of cushioning that had his heart flipping a little. 

Something was wrong. He knew it was. But why had she made a fort and a nest? Maybe something had happened with Safrin? Nothing made sense, and any effort he put into thinking on it only made his head hurt, panic attempting to grasp at his emotions while he steeled himself for whatever news was about to come from her lips. 

Closing the door quickly behind him, Zavien crossed the room to Soh, setting aside the food so he could take her face in his hands. His swirling eyes searched hers, voice low and steady as he asked, "What happened?"

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

The door swung open and Zavien stepped through, a smile playing on his lips that faltered when he saw her expression. Thoughts of recent conversations, and how they'd all ended more positively than she'd originally envisioned, danced through her head. He loved her. He wasn't leaving. The thought became a mantra as he crossed the room, setting aside the food to take her face in his hands. Nerves blossomed anew, butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she leaned into his touch. He was here. He wasn't leaving. This news wasn't the end for them.

She had to believe that.

Her mouth was dry. "I finished my quest," she said softly, brows pinching together with worry. She didn't know what he was going to think, how he was going to react. She'd believed him when he'd promised to stay with her, believed that he'd meant every word. But that was before. What if he didn't want children, despite being so good with them? What if sharing this news spelled the end for their relationship?

No. He wasn't leaving.

"So I went to see Safrin. And she said..." Or wrote, actually, on the parchment that still lingered in her pocket, the note still prominently displayed there in graceful, swooping letters. The words stuck in her throat, and she considered fishing the parchment from her pocket and handing it to him, letting Safrin be the one to tell him, too.

But no. She wanted - needed - to be the one to share this with him.

Searching his face, as though she might see a hint of his reaction there, Soh saw only his love and concern for her. She might not know where this conversation was going to lead, but she knew that drawing it out would only make it worse. So she took a deep breath, steeling herself, finding her resolve; and, heart thundering in her chest, she managed to say it.

"Zavien, I'm pregnant."

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

She spoke and he listened, confirming that she'd finished her quest - whatever that might have been. His head nodded along. She went to see Safrin. Okay. He'd guessed that, but what had Safrin said? Why did Soh look like she was bracing for something? What could the news have been to - 

He blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. 

Soh might as well have been speaking in tongues for how well Zavien comprehended the words she said. He knew his name. He knew the syllables. He knew what the words were. But his brain refused to compute what they meant or why she was saying them. She couldn't be - They hadn't - How -

Like smoke slowly drifting away to reveal the fire beneath, his heartbeat quickened, light bursting into his eyes as he stiffened. Then it suddenly hit him, the truth clear in her silver eyes: Soh was pregnant. 

He shook his head, guilt and shame tumbling through his words. "Soh - I - I'm so sorry. I didn't even - I should have - " Did she hate him now? He'd been so careless, so stupid and inconsiderate. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind to wear a condom, to ask Soh if she was on anything, to even think about how his actions to permanently alter her life - their lives. 

Zavien blanked. There was going to be a small human with his and Soh's DNA - a baby. His heart fluttered, awe shifting quickly to terror at the thought of a kid. One that was going to grow up and look to them for guidance. One they would need to teach and protect. One he could lose just as easily as Soh. Who was currently standing in front of him. Pregnant. 

Pulling her sharply into his arms, Zavien rested his face against her head, breathing her in as his heart raced, still trying to grapple the truth as it tried to flip and tumble out of his grasp. "Are you okay?" How did she feel about all of this? Did she regret their relationship? Was she suffering? Was she scared? Or maybe - just maybe - did she have that same tiny spark of excitement? He didn't know how to feel - didn't know how he should feel - but the world felt significantly far, his feet not quite touching the floor anymore.

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

A group of Speaking Squirrels bursts into view, chattering excitedly as they scramble over roots and stones. Tails flick wildly as they wave their little paws and shout in unison.

“Come!” one calls, racing ahead a few steps before stopping abruptly. “Follow!” another adds, pointing in a direction that leads directly into a dead end or an entirely unremarkable patch of ground.

They regroup quickly, whispering among themselves before trying again, utterly convinced of their own usefulness. Whether they ever manage to lead anyone anywhere is doubtful, but their enthusiasm never wanes.

---

Speaking Squirrels Areas Found: Hollowed Grounds, King's End, Greatwood — Common Appearing like a slightly larger version of a common ground squirrel, the speaking squirrels - as their name suggests - can speak. Or they appear to. Their vocabulary is limited to "yes", "no", and "follow me!" Though it is entirely unclear whether or not they understand actually speech and the words they are saying, they nonetheless will answer questions and will lead wayward souls further astray. Calls of "follow me!" have led a number of victims to their death, as the squirrels have absolutely no idea where they are going. Challenge Rating: Easy HP: 38 | To Hit: +30 | Dmg: 9 Movement: Scurry 30 ft.; Climb 30 ft.; Leap 15 ft. SPECIAL SKILLS Limited Speech: vocabulary is only “yes,” “no,” and “follow me!” and it’s unclear they understand the words; Misleading Guide: will confidently lead wayward souls astray without any sense of direction; Chorus Echo: nearby squirrels pick up the cry, creating a misleading chorus from multiple directions; Gap Squeeze: slips through holes and hedge tunnels too small for most pursuers

TRAITS Slightly Larger Ground Squirrel: looks like an upsized ground squirrel with bright, curious eyes; Tree & Wall Climber: agile on trunks, ruins, and hedges; Hedgerow Local: nests in the twists and hedgerows, popping in and out of tiny gaps; Fearful but Curious: skittish at noise yet drawn to travelers and their shiny gear ACTIONS Chatter Reply: answers any question with “yes” or “no,” regardless of sense; “Follow Me!”: darts a few bounds, stops to look back, then scurries on, luring travelers deeper; Tail Flag: flicks its tail to signal others or draw attention to a false turn; Dart & Vanish: bolts up a trunk or into a hedge-gap, reappearing on a different branch a moment later

Your past and mine are parallel lines

There were a few thundering heartbeats of silence as Soh watched him tentatively, as she saw his mind wrap uncomprehending around the words until they settled heavily, a sudden rush of emotions clouding his green eyes. His apology had her frowning, shaking her head vehemently. "No - I'm sorry, I never thought - I was on birth control, so it didn't even occur to me -" She took a deep, sharp breath. It didn't do them any good now to wonder what they might have done differently, to place blame where none would ever manage to find purchase. It wasn't his fault, wasn't her fault, it simply was. The fact remained that somewhere within her, a tiny life had fluttered into existence, and now all that remained was to navigate what that meant.

Zavien tugged her into his arms, and she wrapped hers unhesitatingly around him, holding him tightly as he adjusted to the weight of this new information. Somewhere outside, a flurry of voices interrupted to call for some unsuspecting someone to follow. Soh ignored them, pressing her face into Zavien's chest. Somewhere in the background, Anani shifted to look out the window, tracking the speaking squirrels who had so rudely thought that this was an appropriate time to start their nonsense.

"I'm okay," Soh breathed. "I mean, shocked, obviously. I never thought..." She'd been so stupid not to realize, or perhaps willfully ignorant. The signs and symptoms were all there, now that she knew, things that she'd chalked up to stress or anxiety instead of a pregnancy. She huffed a soft laugh. "I guess we know why I've been acting so strange lately." With her appetite all over the place, with the nausea, with the recent addition of headaches.

But beyond that, the stupor she'd been in since reading the words on the parchment was beginning to lift, revealing myriad emotions beneath. There was fear - though that was beginning to shift, now that Zavien was holding her tightly, into something else - and there was anxiety, because this was a tiny human that they were going to be responsible for loving and teaching and shaping. But there was something else, too, a flicker of protectiveness, a hint of awed excitement. It wasn't how she'd have planned it, not by a long shot, but... maybe this wasn't some tragic thing. Maybe it was exactly as things were meant to be.

Did that terrify her? Absolutely. But would it be worth it in the end?

Maybe.

"I'm scared," she said plainly, pulling back enough to look up into his eyes. "And we've never talked about this, so I don't... really know what's going through your head." She could guess from his apology that he felt guilty, but was that it? Or was he having the same racing emotions that she was? "But..." she whispered, gaze searching. "... I'm not upset."

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

Zavien's confusion twisted into a disapproving frown, his hands loosening their hold as she shook her head. "Why are you apologizing? At least you thought of contraceptives. It hadn't even crossed my mind." He supposed that was one of the privileges of being a man. They didn't have to think about that most of the time - even if Zavien was kicking himself now for his lapse in judgement. But for Soh to blame herself after admitting to taking precautions, he couldn't understand that. 

Regardless, if there was blame to be had, it could easily be shared. There were two people in this relationship, and it took both as acting participants for this baby to be made. 

As she folded into his arms, Zavien ignored the chiming nonsense of the squirrels outside. It was a good distraction for Sol, who had begun laps around them, uncertain about what was happening or why there were so many emotions flooding the bond. But like a dog with a whistle, he flew immediately to the window, growling at the squirrels to find some other place to be - his companion was busy having feelings. 

Soh's joke wasn't enough to break the tension, but it was somewhat of a good sign. At least she wasn't panicking (outwardly). He took it as a reassurance, huffing a breath of disbelieving laughter alongside her, wondering how they missed all the signs, grateful to hear she was 'okay' if nothing else.

For a moment, he just held her, adjusting to the drastic tilt that had just unbalanced him. There were so many things to consider now, so many worries and questions and feelings that he didn't really know what to do with, especially since they hadn't talked about this, and he didn't know if being pregnant or having kids was something Soh had ever wanted or would ever want. For all he knew, this could be her worst nightmare coming to life, her body being hijacked and her world crumbling beneath her feet. 

He prayed that wasn't the case, but her quiet admission did nothing to eliminate that possibility, a sharp pain stabbing into his heart when he looked into her eyes, needing to know, "What are you scared of?" Gods knew he was terrified, but that didn't matter when he was considering her predicament. He could (theoretically) walk away, but Soh had to carry this baby. She had to deal with the symptoms and the childbirth and every demanding moment after. Whatever he could do to lessen that burden, to assuage some of her fears or discomforts, Zavien would do them in a heartbeat, but to do so, he needed to know what scared her. 

And if her worry was about him, he was quick to dismiss it, echoing her own words since it was easier to say what he wasn't feeling rather than the cyclone of emotions he was experiencing. "I'm not upset."

Taking a deep breath, he ran his hands down her arms, quietly confirming that the moment was real. "Kids were always a distant dream. I just didn't think..." That it would happen so soon. That it would happen before he had a chance to marry her. That they'd be anything but elated by the news.

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

Her fears washed over her, held at bay thus far only from the sheer force of willpower. It was easier to say things she wasn't afraid of than it was to determine what all did scare her, but she tried to quiet her racing thoughts enough to be able to share her feelings with Zavien. He deserved to know what she thought of all this.

Taking a shuddering breath, she exhaled slowly. "I'm scared of not being a good mother," she said, voicing the first thing to come to mind and working slowly outward from there. "I'm scared of what pregnancy and childbirth is actually going to be like, if I've already been having such a rough time." Right now, she'd only felt terrible, and it was hard to imagine getting through months of these symptoms. While they'd reassured her at the clinic that it often only lasted for part of the pregnancy, there was also actually giving birth to worry about - something that, in her distant visions of a future with children, she'd never once really stopped to consider but that now felt all too real.

And she was scared about Zavien - about his feelings, about his hopes and dreams, scared that he would stay with her - with them - out of a sense of obligation rather than an actual desire to have children. But that felt so ridiculous, when he'd been nothing but loving and supportive, and when his response now hadn't been negative. He might not be leaping for joy, but he was still here, still checking on her, still holding her tight. So instead of diving headfirst down a hole of worry that she had no reason to delve into, she said simply, "I'm scared for things with us to change." Because babies changed everything, or at least that was what people always said.

Hearing him say that kids had always been a distant dream had her relaxing somewhat, an almost imperceptible shift that had her heart rate steadying and her arms slipping up to wrap loosely around his neck. "Didn't think it would be now?" she finished for him, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, me either. But I did want them someday." After they'd had a chance to enjoy things being just them for a while. After living together, and after marriage, and after deciding they were ready. Just now, Soh felt like she was in limbo - she didn't have a house, she hadn't even finalized her plans to move, and now there was so much to do and what felt like so little time in which to do it.

But even so, as she settled more fully into the idea, as Zavien continued to hold her close, there was more than just fear, more than just an endless to-do list building in the back of her mind. There was a quiet joy, too, a fragile excitement that this was something that they got to share together. She wasn't upset. She was... happy. And, as it turned out, she could be happy and terrified and overwhelmed all at once.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

He let her talk, let her vocalize all the fears running through her mind. It meant more than he could say that she felt comfortable telling him, that she wasn't shying away or burying the emotions. Bringing them into the light made them less scary, it helped ease some of his own worries just to be aware of what she was feeling, to truly know her mind. Not all of the points she mentioned were things he could fix or change but knowing they existed was half the battle, and when she was done talking, Zavien stepped naturally into the soothing role, his hands running along her arms as he said confidently, "You're going to make a great mother - because you're going to love them, and that's all that really matters."

"And the pregnancy... I'll be there every step of the way, and I'll do whatever I can to make it easier." Zavien smiled down at her, a warmth and gentleness there that spoke of endless hours of comforting measures. "Massages, supply runs - " he laughed "I'll even get you fries and a milkshake every day if you want." His expression softened again as his hand raised to her face, tucking back a strand of loose hair. "You need only ask."

Leaning forward, he kissed her like a summer breeze, a brush of sunlight against skin, cherishing and lingering despite its soft brevity. When his lips fell away, his forehead pressed into hers, his voice quiet enough that they occupied only the space between them. "Things might change, but I promise that my love for you will only grow." And he was happy to remind her as often as she needed. 

When Soh finished his words, all Zavien could do was smile, his heart swelling to hear her confirm that she did want kids, even if they could both agree that the timing wasn't ideal. "Well, I guess 'someday' is closer than we thought," he joked softly, the reality finally settling more fully on his chest. 

They were really doing this. They were really going to be parents. They were really having a baby. 

If anyone had asked him a few months ago what his life would look like, he never would have guessed that he'd have lost his home, started dating his close friend, and was now going to be a father. He wasn't sure how he'd even gotten here or how he was so inexplicably happy and terrified in this moment. Everything was about to change, and the feeling was comparable to looking off a large cliff. But where he'd usually feel only a weightless horror, there was excitement there, a vast openness that seemed to hold no limits.

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

As Zavien spoke, easing her worries with a practiced touch that had her melting against him, Soh smiled up at him. She still wasn’t sure she’d make a great mother, given that she had limited experience with any kind of parental figure, but she had to agree that loving their child was the most important thing she could offer. And love them she did, even now, even though she was surprised and overwhelmed by their very existence.

Thoughts of massages and supply runs and fries and milkshakes had her laughing, the sound brighter now that they both seemed to be adjusting to the unexpected news. ”I think I’ll need something with a little more substance from time to time,” she teased. ”But I’ll keep the offer in mind.”

Zavien tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ”What did I do,” she asked, brushing a thumb over his cheek, ”To get so lucky?” To have found someone so wholly dedicated to her - to their growing family, she realized, the thought bringing happy tears to her eyes - and to bringing her happiness and comfort, even in the moments she was sure she’d be left standing alone again?

His kiss was sweet and full of unspoken meaning, and she hummed happily as he pulled away. ”As will mine for you,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she pressed her forehead to his. The magnitude of their situation was beginning to register now, but rather than be filled with more trepidation, she was now starting to feel excited. It might be sooner than they’d anticipated, but that didn’t make it any less joyful - especially now that she knew they’d both wanted this, someday. 

”How are you feeling about all this?” she asked, opening her eyes to meet his gaze. It wasn’t just about her and her emotions. He’d done a wonderful job of soothing her worries (for now, anyway), but she wanted him to have the same space to share that he’d granted her.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

Determined to find whatever sustenance his girlfriend - the mother of his child - required, Zavien smiled and dipped his head like a loyal and noble knight to his queen. She could ask him to fly to Halo dangling from the bottom of a skyship to get her a single berry and he'd do it with a smile on his face, no matter how pale or green it turned. All just to make her happy, to hear that laughter again, to make this transition somehow any easier. 

Her question elicited a low huff of laughter, the force of his smile pressing against her touch. "I'm sure it was the same thing I did to deserve you." Maybe they'd endured enough suffering to deserve some happiness. Maybe the gods favored them enough to take pity. Or maybe their bad luck had finally run out. 

Zavien didn't much care, kissing her regardless of how they'd found themselves here, relishing in the moment and the bit of peace they'd found in each other. 

When she turned the question back on him, he opened his eyes, giving her the same level of honesty she'd given him. "Scared." He smiled, nudging his nose against her as he continued, "And nervously excited. And also unimaginably happy. And maybe a bit delirious." Laughter bubbled from his lips as he pulled away just enough to look at her straight on. "This isn't happening the way I expected it, so my mind is jumping all over the place. Like," he tilted his head, "I thought the hardest part would be the pregnancy, not wondering how I'm going to be there for you if we're living apart. Or, worrying about gender and first names instead of whether they'd have my last name or yours." A small flush formed on his cheeks, worried he might be saying too much too soon, that maybe he was being too honest. 

"I guess I just expected to be going through this when things were more stable - once we were married. And now..." He looked down, shuffling his feet as he tried to find the words to describe the debate transpiring in his head. "It doesn't feel like the right time to ask." The thought had cross his mind. It had nothing to do with his feelings for her, and everything to do with the timing. Instead of feeling sincere and loving, it would feel forced - rushed, obligatory. And he didn't want Soh to feel like she had to say yes because of this, even if they were agreeing to love each other as much as this child. 

That just meant they'd have to navigate this a little differently than he'd imagined, to find what worked for them at this point in their life. And then if - when - the time was right, they could talk more about marriage.

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

Soh listened, linking her fingers together at the base of his neck, tilting her head to one side and smiling shyly as he named all of the emotions running through her mind, too. This situation in which they'd found themselves was all of those things: scary, exciting, joyful - and yet it was one that they were adjusting to with surprising ease, given the shock of it all. Maybe Zavien was right, and they were delirious, at least a little bit.

As he flushed slightly beneath her gaze, Soh looked at him fondly, tilting her head to one side with a small smile. Talk of marriage wouldn't scare her off, especially not now, and she was confident in her answer. "I would marry you right here, right now," she told him. "But I don't want to rush into it just because there's a baby to worry about now." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "I want you to ask when the moment is right. I don't want it to feel like something that we're supposed to do. I want it to be everything we deserve and everything we've dreamed of."

Her fingertips traced small circles on the back of his neck. "I love you," she said. "And you love me, and we will love this child, and that's all that really matters." The rest of it - marriage and living arrangements and naming conventions - were just detail.

But they were details that worried Zavien, and so she wouldn't dismiss them so quickly. "Last name is easy," she said. "Yours, unless you have a strong preference against it. So when we do get married, we'll all share the same name." Living arrangements they might have to circle back to - because living apart, at least for a while, had been the plan, but this news changed everything, and Soh wasn't sure where that left her - except that once the baby was born, she would want them to all be together. Of that much, she was sure.

But before they got too in the weeds, there was one more thing she needed to know. "What are you scared of?" she asked gently, wondering if there was something she could do or say to help soothe him the same way he'd soothed her.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

The talk of marriage seemed almost bigger than their current situation, like a bigger commitment than having a baby together; and yet, Soh didn't back down. She leaned into him, going so far as to claim she'd marry him now. It sent his heart racing, hoping her answer wouldn't change by the time he got around to asking her, wishing desperately that he already had. 

Still, they agreed that now wasn't the time. Their eventually engagement deserved its own attention without being tangled in the emotions of a new pregnancy. He wanted his love for her and her alone to be what shone when he got down on one knee, and although the timing may never be perfect with this new addition, he'd find a way to make it special. 

His head nodded, confirming everything she'd said as he rubbed along her arms and back, just appreciating having her here. "That's all that matters." Their love. With that, they could face anything. 

As she glossed easily over the last name question, not a moment of hesitation. It made him laugh, his chest beginning to ache with the affection pounding against his sternum, the feeling only increasing every time she casually mentioned marriage, like it was an inevitability. "Have I mentioned how smart you are recently?" His smile widened as he pressed an endearing kiss to her forehead. "You always know exactly what to say." Because she knew him, she saw what he needed and gave it willingly, smoothing worries and fears into distant memories. 

And yet, he wasn't sure she'd be able to do the same for the darker pitfalls of his heart, and he winced slightly when she returned the question to him. Honesty was an instinct at this point, the truth flowing like an unencumbered stream, especially because his answer wouldn't surprise her. It was the same as before, and he smiled slightly at the irony of it all. "Having twice as much to love - and twice as much to lose." Zavien leaned his head back into hers, breathing her in as he quieted the fear, feeling the beat of her heart against his, letting the emotion linger before passing, refusing to let it paralyze him or steal the joy of this moment. 

Pulling back, he gave her a sheepish grin, already knowing how she would respond to his next quiet admission. "I also have this tiny, completely irrational fear that you'll end up resenting me." It was said as a joke, light and buoyant as dust in a sunbeam, but there was an underlying substance to it. Everything was fine and bright despite how scary it seemed, but once that faded and Soh was in labor and the baby was crying and everything had changed, he knew that she might look for someplace to direct her pain or frustrations. Zavien wouldn't be surprised if that fell on him, even if he knew that she'd never fathom doing such a thing. Things changed. People changed.

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

It was strange, this feeling, this inevitability around their eventual marriage. But Zavien hadn't given her any reason to doubt his intentions thus far - if anything, he'd been more up front with them than he strictly had to be - and she wasn't about to start now. She loved him more than she could have dreamed possible, more than almost anything in this world. It didn't have to be now - and, in fact, it was probably better that it wasn't - but someday... someday, she wanted desperately to be his wife.

She laughed at his compliment, wrinkling her nose playfully. "I try," she said drily, batting her lashes up at him. "I'm not convinced I always succeed, but as long as you think that, that's what matters to me." There were plenty of times - including with Zavien - when she'd put her foot in her mouth, times that had cost her dearly. If she counted the number of times she hadn't known what to say, she'd probably be counting forever. But with Zavien, saying the right thing seemed to be second nature, because all she had to do was speak from the heart. There were no mind games, no diplomatic nuances or pitfalls to watch for. There was only them, and their love, and whatever feelings she had that were born from those things.

His first fear was understandable - and, she knew, completely valid. Caido was dangerous at the best of times, and although they were doing all they could to tie their lives together as intricately as possible, they might not always be able to avoid danger. The simple act of childbirth could be deadly, and that wasn't even considering the falling of regions and rampaging of monsters that seemed to plague Caido. "We'll do everything we can to protect our family," she said, the only reassurance she knew she could offer. "Always." Whether that meant more quests, more items, or something else altogether - she would do whatever it took to keep Zavien's fears from coming true.

Leaning into him, Soh pursed her lips as he admitted his next fear. A large part of her wanted to immediately refute it, to vehemently reassure him that she could never - which was true. There were many unknowns in this world, but the possibility of resenting Zavien was something that had never - and would never - cross her mind. But there was a part of her, deep down, that understood that fear - because she felt the same about him. What if one day, he looked back and felt trapped into being with her just because of their child? If he resented the life they built together? That would destroy her.

So she tilted her head, searching Zavien's eyes. "How could I resent you when this is the happiest I've ever been?" she asked quietly. "I'm not saying that things will never be hard, or that we'll never argue, or anything like that. We are human, after all. But resentment?" She shook her head. "No." She reached to stroke his cheek. "But... I get it. Maybe I have the same fear, deep down. I think we just have to trust each other and communicate about anything that comes up." Resentment, surely, was something that could be avoided, so long as lines of communication remained open, so long as their commitment to each other remained a priority.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined