Never before had Peter had quite so much free time in his life. In the very beginning, when he’d first come to Caido smouldering and confused, it had felt like hell. It had been nearly a year now, and he was doing better at coping with the concept of free time. Normally, a day without plans would find him spending time with Adam, or maybe Loren, but neither of the men could be found. That was okay. He’d entertain himself.
What had started as wandering through the settlement had turned into a rather intense chase. The snow had melted, saturated the earth and turned to mud, but there was yet more melt and not enough earth. What wasn’t soaked up ran through the streets, miniature rivers that twisted and flowed together, carving paths and banks through the mud. They all seemed to run to the same place, an open maw in the street that went underground, and without much thought, Peter followed them.
Underground, it was cold, and damp, everything slick with water and mud, but still he went, his boots and pants soaked through by this point. It was only when he lost a boot, stolen off his foot by a particularly stubborn pitch of mud, that he paused, and looked around, feeling the slightest bit lost.
[say]"That is why I chose not to wear shoes."[/say] You remark. The movement of your lips causes your magic to break away slightly, revealing what previously looked like a group of mushroom-covered rocks to in-fact be a crouching girl. With your knees tucked against your chest and the rest of your body still mostly covered in rock and algae, you give Peter a bright blue-eyed stare, before wriggling your toes to demonstrate the fact that no, you aren't wearing shoes. This movement too causes your magic to break away, revealing pale toes amidst the muck.
A voice startles Peter out of his quiet panic, inciting an entirely different kind of panic. He whirls, eyes falling on a girl, if what he's looking at is a human. It's hard to decide given the rocky coating over the form, but as toes wiggle he has to accept that the other is alive at least. Peter licks his lips nervously, a hand moving to the bag that sits at his hip, black antler poking out of it, but stops there, and calls back.
[say]"Don't... don't you get cold?"[/say] It's the first thing that came to mind, and certainly the only reason he himself is currently wearing boots. As if to demonstrate, he sets his bare foot down and shivers, the damp and cold rock affecting him immediately.
You don't notice his indications of nervousness; the way he licks his lips or seemingly fumbles tentatively for something. For one it is dark, and for two, those simply aren't the sort of gestures you're able to understand without help. Instead you focus on his words.
[say]"Yes."[/say] You say with a slight nod. [say]"But it is only temporary."[/say] As was everything. It was one of the things you often tell yourself to calm your mind, especially when you spin into existential floods of dread. It's all temporary, though whether or not that means that everything matters, or nothing does, you still haven't decided.
Somehow, its weirder to actually watch the voice come out than it was to just hear it, but it's impossible to argue with it. Peter nods, then looks down at his own feet, seeming to think for a moment before kicking off his other boot, only looking back up when he too is standing barefoot. It is cold, and he wonders absently how temporary it is.
When he looks back up, there is more hesitation on his features, but his body language is calmer. He's more worried about insulting her than he is his own safety. [say]"Are you real?"[/say] His voice is quieter now, not echoing off the stone and water surrounding them, his question kept private.
Normally you answer any question that you are asked, your brain finding it calming. You like instructions and it eases your anxiety to follow them. It is only when you can't or when you don't understand that the world around you begins to get noisy in a way you can't quite deal with. This time however, instead of answering, you let your head tilt every so slightly to the side.
[say]"Are you?"[/say] You ask instead, and as you do, your illusion magic invisibly seeps out from you. Suddenly Peter appears casts no shadow (dim as it is down here), and though he does in fact still affect his environment, it's all too easy for you to make it appear that he doesn't. You've even temporarily-frozen the ground around his feet so that the cold doesn't bite into him anymore.
Out of any answer he might have thought he'd get, somehow she chooses the one that he isn't expecting. Peter cocks his head, considering it, and notices that the cold seems to not touch him any more, the spray from the water not affecting him. It's as if hes been wrapped in a blanket of thick fleece, no longer touched by the world.
It's comforting.
Peter takes a moment to shrug his shoulders, and stretch out his fingers. [say]"I... I think it depends."[/say] He takes a step closer to her, his head tilted like a strange mirror of the her. [say]"I am... sometimes. More now than um... than before."[/say]
He comes closer and you do almost nothing other than track him with your eyes and let your head tilt back to better keep him in focus. [say]"Did you know that there were those who believed all reality existed in their minds. That everything would disappear in a sense, the moment they closed their eyes or ceased thinking about it?"[/say] You pause for a moment before wiggling your fingers to keep them from turning to stone.
[say]"On the face of it it seems an absurd thought. Things exist objectively. But then, if something is never viewed, never known about, some argue that there is a sense in which it doesn't exist. And so perhaps the reverse is true."[/say]
Again you pause.
[say]"Is that the sense in which you are now more real? Have you been observed?"[/say]
The tilt of Peters head grew more pronounced as she spoke again, longer, and he struggled to keep up with the words. [say]"Isn't there... too much in the world for it to just be what can be... what I can see?"[/say] He is only certain enough to talk about his own perception, still not sure if she's even real (whatever real means anymore, to either of them), considering the stone that attempts to take over her form again.
[say]"You're... observing right now."[/say] He pointed out. [say]"But... no. I'm real, or... more real now because..."[/say] Peter hummed, trying to think of what had changed. [say]"...I'm here. And... I get to do... I do the things I want. Um, mostly. More than before."[/say]
[say]"Is there?"[/say] You ask, your voice retaining that almost sterile and far-away sort of cadence that normally others find so cold and bothersome.
[say]"Here...?"[/say] You glance around in the dimness. [say]"Literal?"[/say] You ask, unsure. The qualifier of more than before is one you appreciate as it's one you can understand without the full context. [say]"Do you think you will ever be fully real?"[/say]
Peter shrugs, finding hes more and more unsure of how to respond to her, but not too concerned about it. Her voice is calming, there's nothing hidden in it, nothing he needs to pick apart and work out, to find emotion in. It's soothing, almost as much as his current disconnect from his surroundings.
[say]"No, not literal."[/say] He shakes his head, and reaches up to tap his temple. [say]"Here."[/say] The clarification helps him, as much as he hopes it helps her, and he feels a little more grounded in the conversation again. [say]"I don't know. I... I think I want to be. It's... hard, and weird. But... I'm trying. And maybe... maybe trying will do it?"[/say]
You nod. [say]"Maybe."[/say] As in most things, maybe it will.
[say]"I don't think it matters if I am real."[/say] You say; now it's your turn to let your head tilt slightly more to the side. [say]"All that I need to accomplish, I can do as I am. Real or not. I am simply here to observe and record."[/say] Not unlike Peter though, there are ways in which you aren't real too. You don't exist in the world quite the same way that others do, you don't move through it the same, aren't seen as being the same.
[say]"If it doesn't matter, then..."[/say] Peter stops, reconsidering his words. He had been going to say maybe you aren't, but that wasn't fair, or right. It wasn't the message he wanted to convey. [say]"You look real. Um, real enough."[/say] He nods then, as if that settles it. As if his words affect her.
His interest is piqued by her statement though, and he moves closer again, taking her in. [say]"What are you... observing?"[/say] He looks around, his gaze slow, then turns back to her. [say]"Me? Or... something else? Did... did someone ask you to?"[/say]
Someone else might have grinned or raised a challenging brow. You however don't do those things; instead, you simply vanish. Or, appear to. Really all you've done is shift the illusion from Peter onto yourself. You've inspected your surroundings long enough that it's easy to recreate the environment behind you to make it appear as though you aren't there at all any longer.
[say]"Everything within the Hollowed Grounds."[/say] You reply and nod, despite the fact that your illusion won't let him see it. [say]"Yes."[/say] Rae did, but of course he only asked you if and not who.
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