SAMUEL
stretch out my life & pick the seams out
Evenings had begun to take on one of two routines for Sam in the past while since he had lost his abilities: he would either go for a walk down the beach and look at the ocean, or he would sit and write in his journal with a cup of tea in Zeph's kitchen. He occasionally got up to clean some dishes or stretch his legs (not necessary, true, really an excuse to move because he was bored) but for the most part wrote religiously down his feelings and thoughts as if worried he might lose them one day.
It was not a totally unfounded fear; the Voice had taken away memories before. If he continued to be disloyal, he didn't think it impossible she might take his defiance away. Zeph was somewhere or other this evening, he didn't know: while the house sometimes felt disquietingly empty without it's owner, Sam actually found this evening rather peaceful, spending a little more time than usual on making the lines in his journal neat, the letters prettily looping over each other; absorbed in his work, he for once did not pay paranoid attention to the world around and outside the kitchen. take what you like, but close my ears and eyes,
watch me stumble over and over. |
you didn't have to offer your hand
|
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Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
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06-08-2020, 08:53 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830
06-11-2020, 01:06 PM
zephyr Peaceful, eh? Hope he's ready for that to end.
You shove your way through the front door without much consideration for the amount of damage it might do (it's your fucking house) or noise it might make (not like Red'll be sleeping). You reek of alcohol, both from what you've consumed and what's been plastered on your agonized face to keep it from becoming putrid; a near-empty bottle of vodka hangs between your fingers, though how much you've actually had to drink is anyone's guess. Kicking your shoes off on the lanai, you slam the door behind you and make your way to the living room, crashing down onto the couch. "Honey, I'm home!" you call out loudly to Ki (and Sam), before breaking into boyish giggles. "An' I got fucking stabbed!" Drama llama much? Maybe, but let me say, the sewn up red gash that cuts over the left side of your face from hairline to cheek isn't fucking helping you feel like this is fine, everything is fine. burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
Change author: Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707 MP: 0
06-11-2020, 06:34 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830 zephyr You're mid-swig on the dregs of the bottle when Sam makes his way in. This is surprising: you'd nearly forgotten he'd be there, and briefly you regain enough presence of mind to wince at your current disheveled state and dramatic entrance.
But the wince, of course, makes your face hurt more, and there goes the remorse. He settles beside you and takes your hand, which is very sweet and deserves a good turn in response. Smile-grimacing, you pat his fingers with your thumb. "Hey, Red. How y'doin? Wanna- aw, shit. It's empty." You raise the bottle up to peer into it, an action which again makes your face burn and threatens to tear at your stitches. Oops. Putting the bottle haphazardly on the table, you scoot over on the couch, tugging Sam up to sit on your right (not your left. That's the pretty side. Pretty fucked! Good one, Zeph!) "Oh, this? Ain't nothin'- had a run-in with yer friend th' Arm-biter. Didja know he has a fancy knife? Got to see it alllllll up close." burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
Change author: Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707 MP: 0
06-11-2020, 10:26 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830
06-12-2020, 12:47 PM
zephyr The awkward leg-on-leg action goes largely unnoticed by you, though you certainly don't mind the moment when he's halfway in your lap. He's so small and sweet, delicate as a damn bird - you could probably scoop him up and carry him off if you wanted. You doubt he'd much complain.
There's a moment where you very much consider this course of action, but luckily Sam's line of questions pierces your hazy mind. "Nah, don'tcha worry- little kitty raaaan away. Not gonna bother us t'night, probably." You nod encouragingly and unsteadily at Sam, the pain of it filled by your copious alcohol intake. Gods, you gotta find some rum. Poor Sam does not appear to be as amused by this situation as you are. In your unfortunate haze you wonder why, and then decide you have it figured out. The 'biter was his boyfriend, right? Or his ex-boyfriend's-new-boyfriend? Or one of the Voice's lackeys? You can't quite recall, but you do not need coherent thoughts to decide you're pretty sure you know what has Sam upset. Reaching out with susprising gentleness given your current state, you attempt to take Sam's cheeks between your palms and tilt his face up to yours. "S'oksy, Red, y'don't gotta be scared. I'mma, I'mma take care'a ya. Protec' ya. An', an" I ain't gonna hurtcha. It let anyone else. Y'know all'a that, right?" There's surprising sincerity in your slurred voice, your one good eye peering at him seriously, the other swollen nearly shut in a truly grotesque display. burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
Change author: Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707 MP: 0
06-12-2020, 01:41 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830
06-12-2020, 06:06 PM
zephyr A version of you either much drunker or stone sober might have made a very bold move indeed, in response to Sam's quasi-kiss of your palm. As it is you simply stare at him, running your thumb over the stubble on his cheek, taking in the eyes as blue as lakes surrounded by pale white sand. So very sweet, you think to yourself. Despite all of the bullshit, still so very sweet.
And suddenly you realize how incredibly stupid you are. What an ogre you must be next to him, an old man with a fucked-up face and a fucked-up arm and a fucked-up history. To think there might have been a chance for anything- Well. Better not to dwell on it. You drop your hands back to your sides, watching him stand up and walk away, then lean back against the couch. Large hands run, exasperated and tired, through your graying hair. A drink sounds good. And then probably bed, before you can do something stupid. Something you'll both regret. The drink is met with a grateful grunt, and then sputtering unhappiness as you realize the damn dirty trick that Red has played. "This ain't vodka!" you exclaim indignantly, gesturing toward the glass. "I take it all back. Yer a cruel man, Red." But there's no real malice or anger in your voice, and you knock back a large gulp of the water, some part of your brain aware that you cannot handle a hangover as well as you used to, and that this is a very considerate thing. burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
Change author: Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707 MP: 0
06-12-2020, 06:45 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830
06-12-2020, 07:33 PM
zephyr "Thought you didn't know anythin' 'bout drinkin'," you counter, sticking out your tongue in an act of true foolish childishness, but obediently return to the water. It's pleasantly refreshing, you must admit, and feels better than the vodka did, going down your throat. How long has it been since you had something like this: someone other than Ki to come home to, to look after you when you've been a fool? To laugh and tease you, and to hold your hand?
Ughhh, you're getting sentimental again. Stop it, Zeph, you old goat. But how can you help it? How are you supposed to resist it when he squats down on the ground between your knees, looking up at you through those big blue eyes and dabbing gently at your fucked-up face as though it were something sacred? What reasonable man could resist being so inexplicably, bizarrely, openly admired? How long has it been since you felt so easy and at ease in someone's company, since it wasn't about transactions, be it business or pleasure? Without much thought to what you're doing you reach up to place your hand on his, gently, tenderly almost, searching his face with your one good eye. "Red-" you begin, cutting off quickly as you realize you are probably (definitely) drunk and shouldn't be doing this now. He's so vulnerable, so kind, and you're probably reading way more into it than you should. But hey, fuck it. Carp the damn, or whatever they say. "D'ya, y'know... why're you here? Like, not here, but here? Like this. With me. Why?" burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
Change author: Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707 MP: 0
06-12-2020, 07:48 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830
06-12-2020, 08:25 PM
zephyr The blood on your shirt will prove far greater issue than that which has escaped the doctor's ministrations and stitches, but you appreciate the effort anyway. It's another of those strange sweet things Sam seems so fond of doing, like making you tea and cleaning up your shit, and it feels comfortable to just sit back and let someone take care of you.
Or it would, if you hadn't decided to put your foot in your mouth and mess the whole dynamic up. What were you expecting him to say? You knew what the answer might have been, knew that no matter what it would change things, but still your drunk ass decided to ask it anyway, to give voice and name and terrible existence to the whatever-it-is that exists between you. Idiot- Gods, it hurts to hear those words, the confession of a puppy love you can never hope to deserve or sustain. Care doesn't have to mean anything but that, but you're not so far gone that you've lost all emotional intelligence. The implication is clear, and the ball is in your court, and you know have no idea whether to keep it or give it back. Then his other hand is on your neck, and your eyes squeeze shut, because you know what you have to do and you know that if you're looking at that face so close to yours there's no way you'll be able to do it. Gently you reach up and move his hands away, pressing them between yours, your thumbs gracing gently over the knuckles as you exhale a long, slow sigh, looking off into the other room. "I was afraid'a that." Pressing your lips together in a sad smile, you chuckle slightly, shaking your head. "Look, Red- Sam. I'm not.... I don't do this. Date. Be fond'a people." You keep his hands within yours; you do not meet his eyes. "I wouldn' know th'first thingabout it. An' I... I like havin' ya around, but... yer sweet, an' young, an' you deserve someone who can sweep y'off yer feet an' make pretty promises an' keep 'em. And I dunno if that's me." Finally you let him go, lifting your hand to run it through your hair. "Look, what I'm tryin'a say is..." What are you trying to say? You have very little idea; you're drunk and emotional and you just got stabbed and your heart is racing a hundred miles a minute. Do you want him to go? Stay? Find someone else? Be yours? Yes. "I like you, Red. I like what... whatever this is. But I dunno if - or when - or if- I'll be able t'give y'more. Does that... does that make sense?" You're looking at him now, finally, searching for an answer and understanding, for him to make more sense of your nonsense than you possibly can. burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Book maker/seller✓
Age: 35 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1 MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac
Change author: Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707 MP: 0
06-12-2020, 08:40 PM
Smuggler✓ / Guildmaster
Age: 42 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline Level: 5 - Strg: 25 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 10 - Int: KI - Regular - Panther Chamelon
Played by: shark
Change author: Posts: 680 | Total: 4,676 MP: 2830
06-12-2020, 09:07 PM
zephyr It's a good thing you aren't looking at him, because if you'd seen his crushed expression that would have been the end. As it is you snort a huff of laughter, your face softening just a little around the areas where the wounds still prohibit movement. "Practically a baby," you drawl in counter.
Maybe... Maybe this will work. Or not. You feel like you ought to say something in reply to him, something about not being all that great and how he can do better, but honestly? It really doesn't seem like he has this far. Good friends, good family, good people: they all seem to be conspicuously absent from his life. So maybe that's what you can be. Someone who helps him find someone better, to show him how well he could do. And if you catch a little feelings, what of it? You've been drinking those fuckers into oblivion for years, now. What's a few bottles more? With this new resolve to be merrily friendzoned you accept his hand and rise to your feet, swaying a moment as the room around you spins. "I'm not that- aw, heck." No, no, you are definitely that drunk. You make it up the stairs with plenty of help, only stopping long enough to strip off your bloody shirt and shorts before collapsing onto the bed. "Thanks, Red," you murmur, right eye already beginning to close. "Yer pr'tty. Nice. Don'... Don' leave me, k?" And with that you drift off into the dreamless, mercifully heavy sleep of the very, very drunk. burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save | ||||||
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