(se) for so many years I've used the darkness to feel (open)

Loren knew the tunnels under the Hollowed Ground. Knew the shrine that lay deep within the winding tunnels. Knew that it was a place of power for the Voice, that same goddess who'd offered him an impossible choice and had kept her word about the cure. He figured he owed her a thank you for the truth and the medicine, at the very least.

Not knowing quite what drew him to the caverns he'd once called home, he ducked inside them, Astra at his heels. She watched him and he ignored her, as well as the worry he could sense through their bond. Instead, he just padded his way lower and further into the cave system, his paws silent on the stone. The soft illumination from her antlers was enough for him to see by.

Nothing and no one bothered him, for now at least. In this form, what few predators were around knew to stay away. So he was unimpeded as he made his way towards the shrine. He stopped before he reached it. There was a vein of quartz before him: batting and clawing at it, he managed to rip a chunk out. Gripping it in his teeth, he resumed his descent through the maze.

Nothing and no one doesn’t last long for Loren - well, long enough for him to get his gift - but Wessex comes along as he finishes prising out the piece of quartz with his claws. The sight of the lion evokes a mixed feeling in the Queen, and surprise that she’s found him there.[say] “I thought you were a Halo man,”[/say] she says with a small smile,[say] “not enough shiny things up there for you?”[/say] It’s not mean or sharp by any means, more a lightly teasing statement that carries some truth. He’d left the Grounds for a reason (a reason she can’t remember and doesn’t particularly care about), so it’s surprising to see him down here when he’s already partaken of the cure. Surely he’d choose to return?

She falls in step with him, heedless of whether or not she’s wanted. This is her queendom, after all. Her Goddess’s maze. Something tells her Loren isn’t about to go and do something stupid at the shrine, but you never can tell. If she can act as a deterrent, then so be it.

As @wessex spoke up, Loren went entirely still. Astra bleated and hid herself behind the lion's large frame. Turning slowly, he faced the Queen. Looking her up and down (careful not to drop the crystal) he chuffed out some air. Lifting his front paw, he waffled it, flipping it up and down in a classic wishy-washy gesture.

Setting his foot down, he turned his back to her. The shift gave him the perfect excuse not to respond, albeit a dumb one. He padded deeper into the tunnels, his companion by his side, until he reached the shrine to the new golds.

Once there, he set the quartz down at the foot of the statue. Reaching out, he nudged it into slightly until it sparkled, reflecting the light. Stepping back, he bowed his head. [say]Thank you for curing me.[/say] The Voice could almost certainly hear his thoughts, even in this form.

If the Voice can hear her thoughts, she hopes her disgruntledness at Loren’s behavior is noted, because right now she’s thinking What A Cunt rather hard in the lion’s direction, knowing perfectly well that he could communicate in some way in that form, considering they’d done it before.

Wessex remains behind as Loren heads further into the maze, supposedly to do something with the quartz. While he’s gone she taks the time to step over to the vein and start to pick at the rock, unsheathing her talons to prise a rose looking bit from the wall a little higher up. It’s a struggle, but eventually the Wraith gets her gift for the Voice, not feeling the least bit like she’s copied the man. After all, hers is rose quartz.

If he comes back this way (and she can’t remember another exit, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist), she’ll be sitting there in the middle of the tunnel, staring at the quartz, waiting patiently for him.

As Loren emerged back into the tunnel, he blinked when he saw @wessex still waiting there. Pausing for just a moment, his ears flicked and his tail swished. He regarded her silently.

Then he growled a little low in his throat. Shifting to human, he crossed his arms. Pressing his lips together, he glanced past the Wraith to the exit beyond her. Astra pressed herself against his legs, but he didn't pet her. Not this time.

Instead he refocused his attention on the Queen of the Hollowed Ground and, as far as he knew, the unofficial leader of the Ascended. [say]"The Voice offered to Ascend me."[/say] He laid it out before her without preamble, and without any real change in his expression.

There may not be any change in Loren’s expression, but there is in the Wraith’s; her eyebrows jump halfway up her forehead as the Halovian reveals something most unexpected. Wessex takes her time before responding, searching for the right words in a very non-delirious kind of way, pocketing the quartz so she can focus on the man in front of her.

[say] “Well,”[/say] she says finally, even reluctantly.[say] “That wasn’t what I expected you to say. You did help us, so though I’m surprised, I’m also not.”[/say] Pushing her own questions aside, Wessex imagines this is a time when she must rise above everything between them, the frustration she feels at having told him what needed to be done, at knowing Nate and Sunjata told him what needed to be done, and then still being denied - and all for naught. It could have been solved weeks ago if only he'd come back to her and asked why the Voice needed it. Or even took a leap of faith. Literally anything other than what he'd done.  

[say] “Did you have an honest conversation with her about it?”[/say] she asks instead, tilting her head up to read his face better.

The corners of Loren's lips twitched in grim amusement at the expression on @wessex's face. It wasn't often that he managed to surprise her, so he was going to savor it while he could. Letting out a huff of laughter when she finally spoke, he shrugged at her actual comment. [say]"I felt pretty much the same when she first offered."[/say]

Nodding at her question he sighed. [say]"She did. Told me what I'd be gaining and what I'd be giving up."[/say] Running a hand through his hair, he looked away from the Wraith. [say]"I told her that I'd need to think about it."[/say] Astra bleated and he finally obliged her, scratching between her ears.

[say] “That’s not what I meant,”[/say] the Wraith says with a quiet shake of her blonde head. Everyone knows more or less what they’ll be giving up to Ascend, though she doesn’t know the half of it in Loren’s case. She assumes he’ll be some kind of hybrid, though what kind exactly is the mystery. Rubbing her fangs against her bottom lip, she continues slowly.[say] “Did you begin to see her? The way we see her? Did you let her see you?”[/say] Because there is nothing so freeing as acknowledging one’s flaws and knowing that you’ll be loved, despite them. Both Loren and Wessex have many flaws, and in this they might well find some common ground.

There is another pause while she considers if she really wants to offer the next bit, but in the end she knows it’s for the best.[say] “Do you want to think aloud? I may be biased, but I’m also terribly honest.”[/say] That, at least, is true. No matter what Loren may think of her, the Wraith has never lied to him - and never will.

Sighing, Loren shrugged with one shoulder. [say]"I'm sure she saw me. She told me...that she and I were more similar than I probably cared to admit."[/say] He let out a huff of laughter at that, glancing away from @wessex. [say]"As for what I saw in her..."[/say] Voice trailing off, his fingers stroked Astra. [say]"I saw how much she cares for those she has claimed and who have claimed her. And that she just wants to make a better world in her image."[/say]

Looking back at the Wraith, he raised his eyebrows. [say]"Do you want to yell whatever you came to yell at me about first?"[/say] His lips twitched and he gestured for her to go right ahead.

The Voice and Loren? Similar? She is marked with disbelief, her eyebrows shooting towards her hairline and definitely not laughing along with him. She decides to keep her mouth shut and tries to listen more than talk, though that’s quickly thrown to bits when he talks again.[say] “Wants to make the world better,”[/say] she repeats, perhaps as a correction, perhaps not.[say] “Most of us Hollowed Ground Naturals didn’t Ascend because we were lured in by cool tech stuff - we did it so we wouldn’t die.”[/say] Like her, they weren’t ready to give up. And they saw an opportunity to fight back when life had previously been so hopeless and they, themselves, often helpless to do anything about it.  

Imagine a world where the options are death or completely changing yourself and everything you know. Giving up pleasant human things along with the unpleasant. It's a terrifying choice to make, especially for someone in the indoctrinated and bigoted community.

Whether or not it’s in The Voice's image is irrelevant, or so she thinks. Amongst other things.

[say] “I didn’t come her to yell at you,”[/say] she says with a shake of her head.[say] “I came to see her, you just happened to be here.”[/say] That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to yell at him, she only wants him to know that this is purely a coincidence, and nothing more.

And she doesn't intend on yelling.

Raising his eyebrows at @wessex's response, Loren shrugged. [say]"She does. But not everyone wants the world she's trying to make and she doesn't necessarily seem willing to accommodate them."[/say] He held up his hand in an attempt to forestall her response. [say]"I know the old gods are much the same. And for what it's worth I have no quarrel with the Voice's goals, only some of her methods."[/say]

As the Wraith explained her presence he nodded and stepped aside, moving Astra as he did. [say]"Then go see her."[/say] He gestured for the Queen to pass. [say]"I appreciate the offer. But I've already spoken to more people who can't stand me than I care to recently. So I'll spare both of us the unpleasantness."[/say] Lips twitching, he let out a huff of laughter.

Clearing his throat, he rubbed the back of his head. [say]"But...I'm planning to stay in the Hollowed Ground for a few days. If that's alright. So maybe I'll come find you later."[/say]

And yet no quarrel with the Old God’s methods, she bites back, pressing her lips together to physically keep it from spilling out.

But Loren always knows best, doesn’t he? So wise and yet so closed.

The Queen makes no movement when he gestures for her pass him, staying sitting and looking up at him with a mixture of pity and wry amusement, thinking that he brings this on himself.[say] “I said I wasn’t going to yell, that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to talk about it. Particularly about why you decided to take it into your own hands instead of asking questions. I realize I wasn’t in my right mind, but I think I got the importance across to Amalia and there were others to talk to. The Voice, even.”[/say] It’s all very calm and rational, no sign of anger or malice. Logical fact finding. Trying to head off a problem that seems to keep popping up.

He isn’t the only one with the problem, but she might as well start with him. Or try to. Conversations go both ways.

She shrugs, making no move to keep him there to answer her questions - it's his choice.[say] “Sure.”[/say] The single word is tinged with indifference. Stay or go - so long as he doesn't cause any problems, he, like everyone else, is free to visit.

If @wessex had said what was on her mind, Loren would've been more than happy to enlighten her about all his problems with the old gods' methods, but that's not what they were talking about. Grimacing at the actual conversation he sighed. [say]"Does it matter?"[/say] Running a hand through his hair, he stared at the ground. [say]"I fucked up, alright? I'm sorry."[/say]

Shaking his head, he continued, [say]"I didn't know what the Voice wanted it for at first. When I asked Frey and Rae they both told me the metal was basically worthless. By the time I found out the Voice wanted to use it for a cure I'd already found another alternative."[/say] He shrugged, having told variants of this tale multiple times recently and already sick to death of it.

[say]"You're right, I probably should've talked to the Voice too. Besides not necessarily trusting her or any of the gods to be honest with me, though, I didn't think she would answer me and all the Ascended I knew were sick."[/say] All those excuses were just that, excuses, which is why he'd asked if it mattered at all at this point.

Does it matter? The Queen considered the question and finally nods slightly.[say] “Yes, it does. Not the fucking up part. We all have, in one way or another.”[/say] She turns her head to the ceiling, wondering how to go on without sounding like a hypocrite. Hadn’t she made a decision for the Fae, in some way? Not a life or death one, but a big one.

But then he ought to know about Frey, even if it’s been said before, she still wonders how he hadn’t figured it out yet. Turning her gaze back to him, Wessex treads lightly.[say] “Loren, you do know that Frey doesn’t give a fuck unless the issue is fucking or nature, right? That they are probably the worst herald to go to for advice? Rae might be better, but they’re still… uninterested. Above it. So the metal was worthless to them.”[/say] An awkward pause.[say] “For future consideration when you pray.”[/say] Because in the end, though he says he didn’t trust any of the Old Gods “really,” he still acted on that information versus what she’d been trying to say.

[say] “If I’m honest, I’m more upset that I’m not believed.”[/say] Leaning back on her hands, she shrugs. [say] “And I want to… try and stop misinformation. Or miscommunication. These days.”[/say] Might as well start with him.