[SE] Black like my soul

It had taken a couple of days to track Sah down after Tal and Alys had landed in Torchline. Tal still had deliveries to make and a trip to the sailors' shrine that he hadn't exactly been planning on. Then he'd had to restock the Peregrine, newly paranoid about wanting to be ready to send her off at a moment's notice if anything threatened Alys or Boreal.

He'd finally figured out where Sah was staying and left a message to meet him out by the Miana Pool. And to bring something to drink. They hadn't had a chance to engage in their old LongNight tradition since Tal had moved to King's End, but this year he wished they could have.

Gods, but he wished Sah had been there that night.

So here he sat in the late afternoon sunlight, staring pensively out over the ocean to the violet stain on the horizon. One hand was loosely curled around the neck of a bottle of rum which already had a sizable dent in it. The other was wrapped around his knees, the courier looking smaller than he had in years as he brooded next to the brilliant blue waters of the L'ma's lair.

Sah

Sah spotted Tal as he approached their rendezvous point. He almost didn't recognize the man, unused to seeing the courier curled in on himself. Brow furrowing, the hybrid walked over and plopped onto the ground beside his friend. He leaned over so that their shoulders brushed, needing the contact more than he cared to admit.

Reaching over, he clinked his bottle of rum against Tal's glass before taking a swig. With that bit of liquid courage, Sah let out a deep sigh, "Dahlia kidnapped and tortured Luka." The Wild Thunder didn't have the energy or state of mind to sugar coat his words or make small talk, nor did he care to keep the anger and grief out of his voice.

But Sah wasn't the only one hurting. One look at Tal made it clear that LongNight had been cruel to them both, "What happened? Is Alys safe?" After losing her companion, she was obviously not okay, but safety was another matter.

I think therefore I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

He flinched as he realized too late that someone had approached while he'd been lost in his memories, but the warm shoulder that brushed his was almost as familiar as Boreal's scales by now. Tal unlocked his jaw and exhaled, some of the tension leaving him as he leaned back against Sah's arm without looking at the other man.

He took a swig from his own bottle without thinking about it, his body knowing the motions even as his brain tried to find the words to say--

Sah spoke first, and the hunter's news was devastating enough to shake Tal from his depression. He straightened a little, turning to look at his friend in shock. "...Shit," he swore, the word as heartfelt as any hallmark card. He bit his lip hard enough to almost crack the skin and then drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "Alys an' Boreal are... they're here, in Torchline with me," he managed to assure the hunter. Obviously no one was 'fine' but instead of answering Sah's question he shook his head. "But Luka... When? How? Is he... did she take 'im t'Stormbreak?" Dread opened a pit in his stomach at the thought of any of their friends or families in the clutches of the Family, but especially if Luka was still there.

Sah

A small fraction of tension left the hunter's shoulders at the confirmation that Tal's immediate family was alright. "Good."

Sah leaned a bit more against the courier to ground himself. "It...fucking hell." He shook his head, "It was during LongNight. I got home just after when Luka and Soleil usually turned in for the night. The wolves were already home and asleep. I heard a knocking on the door and when I opened it, Luka fell in. He was nearly dead from his injures and there was a note pinned to him." Sah's voice cracked on the word, and he swallowed harshly. "In the span of just a couple of hours she literally broke into our home undetected, stole him from his bed, tortured him, and dropped him off on the doorstep minutes after I got home." 

The Wild Thunder snarled as he pushed through to give his friend context. "Dahlia had threatened Elizabeth and me regarding Halo's current regional quest and apparently my somewhat curt response to her letter was too disrespectful for her taste. This was her response. The letter basically insinuated that I should be thankful for her good will in letting him live and that there would be worse consequences if I was disrespectful again." Rage, grief, and guilt were clearly visible on Sah's face as he took another sip of his drink.

I think therefore I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

He didn't look at Sah when he felt the other man lean back against him, but Tal shifted to wrap his arm around the hunter's shoulders, pulling him close enough to offer silent comfort against the hell of his memories. He remembered the knock at his door one LongNight, when the Shields had brought his father's body home for the last time, carved deep by cultist knives...

He shook off the vision, focusing his rum-hazed attention on what Sah was saying. Not just the what but the why of it. A regional quest - and his heart squeezed at the instinctive offense that he hadn't been included in their plans, then thumped back painfully at the realization that he no longer lived there, though his family remained - and a letter probably written with some sass, knowing Sah.

And consequences, aimed not at Sah but at his family. Kids who hadn't even touched the Void in all this time. Hadn't fought it or harmed it or done anything to draw the Reaper's ire or attention, except to be related to Sah.

Like Sascha...

He shook his head, giving his frenemy a fierce squeeze as he scowled out at the ocean. "So we don't fuck with Dahlia," he grudgingly agreed. "But Vox lit'rally asked t'be fucked with, yeah? Wanted some bullshit poetry. Why don't we send somethin' t'him, instead? Somethin' like... I dunno...

Stop spyin' on us like some kinda creep
Stay outta our heads... it's... it's... uh, fuck what rhymes with...? Oh, yeah! It's just not that deep
We were doin' just fine afore you came along
An' also how th'fuck d'y'piss without a dong?

An' stay gone," he finished proudly, raising his rum bottle to the sky in a mocking toast. And never mind that he'd wandered away from the meter by the end.

Sah

Sah hummed, relaxing into Tal's hold, grateful for the support. He listened quietly as the courier spoke, letting out a startled laugh at the man's conclusion. "Maybe." The poem wasn't half-bad, especially for the alcohol flowing between them. When Tal was done, the hunter shook his head in mock exasperation. "Beautiful. But I think I'll refrain from being too rude at the moment." Who could blame him.

Thinking for a moment, Sah took a sip of his drink and then crafted his poem.

Past the stars above
Purple falls upon our land
What was the target?

He'd often wondered why Caido was chosen. Were they the closest and most convenient? Or was there something specific here that the Family wanted?

I think therefore I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

The ocean breeze crackled—not the usual salty gusts, but something else, something wrong, a shimmer of static curling through the air. The scent of ozone bloomed between them, and then—

"Oh, my dearest drunken poets!" Vox’s voice fizzled into existence, delighted and crisp as a freshly tuned radio. "You shouldn’t have! No, truly! What wonderful gifts! Let’s see now—"

A brief hum of unseen movement, of something hovering just beyond perception.

"Tal," Vox crooned, "what a fascinating mind you have! So inquisitive, so concerned for my bodily functions! I adore curiosity. And while I could answer your question, I do think the mystery is far more enticing, don’t you?" A pleased chuckle echoed in the spaces between them. "Truly, I feel so seen," Vox remarked, invisibly.

The static shifted, rolling over Sah like an unseen wave. "And Sah, my ever-thoughtful observer… What was the target? Oh, my dear, such a good question. I do hope you enjoy the answer when it arrives."

The air buzzed, full of a laughter that didn't quite fit in their ears, a frequency that dug into the bones. And then—

Silence.

Except for the faintest hint of a whisper, curling under their skin like a lingering radio signal just out of reach.

There was a companionable ease to their frenemyship these days, after all that they had been through together. They leaned together, giving and taking support in equal measure as they drank and allowed themselves to relax and finally release some of the pain and tension that they'd been holding into since LongNight and before. Tal snorted at Sah's desire to avoid pissing the family off, but it was a surprisingly gentle tease as he took a sip of his rum and swirled it thoughtfully on his tongue at the other man's verse--

The buzz of static that preceded Vox's arrival wasn't quite warning enough. As the bone-curling dissonance of the incorporeal menace's voice cut through the pleasant fuzziness of booze in his brain Tal sprayed rum into the air and jerked away from Sah, fingers scrabbling for his Dagger--

And then freezing as black panic washed through him, breaking glass and blood and violet slime filling his vision. He barely heard what the Family's Messenger had to say as he clawed his Goggles up over his eyes but by then the intruder was gone. His panic, however, was not. Bile rose up abruptly in the back of his throat and he twisted to the side, retching up what was left of his lunch onto the warm sand as if to expel the memory that Vox had so innocently(?) triggered. Adrenaline surged through him, leaving him shaking with nowhere to aim it as he panted miserably over his sick, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

His Dagger had been dropped from nerveless fingers to the rock between he and Sah, glinting wickedly in the sunlight as orange highlights caught on the poison that coated the blade.

Sah

Sah grimaced at the familiar voice in is mind. He was surprised however, at the strength of Tal's response, watching with worried eyes as the man made himself sick. "Tal. Hang on." Carefully placing the dagger to the side but still in the courier's reach, the hybrid used his magic to clean up his frenemy. Vox's voice in his mind made Sah nauseous too, but not panicked. Tal's response was different. Visceral. The courier's panic had ice creeping into the Wild Thunder's veins.

Gently grasping Tal's wrist, Sah attempted to pull the man back into his space. His eyes ran over the side of the courier's face, taking in squeezed eyes and clear suffering. "Tal, 'ook at me." He had to swallow to straighten the slight slur in his words, "Look at me. We're still on the beach, okay?" Sah didn't know where the courier's mind was at the moment, and he hoped that the reminder would help pull the man back.

I think therefore I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

Tal didn't particularly want the Dagger in reach just then, thanks Sah, but he was too shaken to notice just where the hunter placed it. He felt the careful brush of magic over his skin, wiping away the bitterness of his retching but it was a distant thing, muffled by the cold clutch of the flashback that left him shivering with reaction. He was too weak to struggle as Sah tugged him close, and though his eyes were still shut behind his Goggles he could finally feel a little warmth where they touched.

It was a connection; an anchor to the present that gave him a path to follow out of memory and back into light. The voice that pressed against his ears had no static in it, at least. Only worry, and warmth, and familiarity that he clung to, trusting it when he didn't trust himself. The courier blinked his eyes open behind smoked glass, and the charm that hung from the side of the lenses glittered briefly before going dull again. Sah held no trace of purple in him, no hint of corruption, and Tal sucked in a breath that wasn't quite a sob as he leaned into his friend's shoulder and buried his face against him.

"...'kay," he agreed shakily, too drunk and too emotionally overwrought to care what anyone else might think if they saw him in this state. If he could trust anyone on Caido to handle this, it was Sah.

Sah would understand the sickness in him. He carried the same scar, after all.

Sah

Sah was practically forced into sobriety as Tal clung to him, concern forcing his mental capacity to strengthen. There was still a quiet hum, an odd tint to the world, but he was functional. And Tal needed him.

He pulled the courier closer against him, practically into his lap, and wrapped his arms round the man. One going across Tal's back, and the other coming up to cup the back of his friend's neck. Sah had the sinking feeling that his reaction had to do with what Tal had wanted to tell him, but he had no intention of bringing it up now. Clearly, the Family had done something, and the hybrid had to bite back the rage that swirled in his chest and focus on his friend.

"I've got you. Just breathe. We've got all night if you need it." The hand on Tal's back rubbed gentle circles as he spoke in an attempt to further soothe the courier. He also began to quietly hum alongside a gentle canine-rumble in his chest to give Tal something else to focus on.

I think therefore I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

There were warm arms around him and a comfortingly familiar scent in his nose - what little he could smell with it still running - and a friendly voice saying all the right, soothing things to him. It didn't happen immediately or all at once, but the Messenger's heartrate finally began to slow, his breath coming less harsh and rapid, and some of the brutal tension began to ease from knotted muscles beneath Sah's arm.

"I'm so. Fuckin' done. With th'Family an' their stupid fuckin' Void bullshit," he finally managed to get out, a small tremor remaining in his voice that might have been muffled by Sah's shirt. But saying the words seemed to release some of the trauma that had wrapped around him so tightly, and Tal took a steadier breath and tried to straighten up from within his friend's embrace. At least enough that he could rub the heel of his hand across his eyes and then swipe it across his nose to take care of the dripping. "Me an' Alys were... our home was attacked over LongNight. By a Void monster." He figured he owed Sah some sort of explanation for his breakdown, even if he practically had to force the words out. "I... we're... she didn't get hurt. An' Boreal's fine but... someone else... isn't." He grimaced, glancing down, unwilling to meet Sah's gaze. "I dunno what sorta shape she was in before but... it used some poor woman as a... a human shield." He swallowed hard, fingers clenching into the fabric of Sah's shirt. "An' I... I didn't know she was there when I..." Fuck, he hadn't realized getting the words out would be so hard. "I killed 'er, Sah. Tryin' t'keep it from gettin' inside th'house. An' then it stopped attackin' us so it could eat her eyes an' slink back into th'dark."

Sah

Sah reluctantly let Tal sit up, the hand on the back of the courier's neck coming down to rest on the man's shoulders. He silently listened as Tal pieced together his story. With each word the courier spoke, the events of that night flashed through the Wild Thunder's imagination. Nearly endless darkness, a horrid knocking at the door. A monster, a woman, a threat. All leading up to blood and inevitable death. He had to work to keep his hold on Tal gentle even as that dark rage rose higher. The monster's face in his imagination was easily replaced with Dahlia's. Sah's jaw clenched as he surfaced from his thoughts and realized that Tal was refusing to meet his gaze. That wouldn't do.

Still gently rubbing Tal's back, the hybrid shook his head. His next words were firm, leaving no room for argument. "It's not your fault, Talyson. You were protecting your family." The hand on Tal's shoulder squeezed, "I wouldn't have done anything differently." In the heat of the moment and an active threat attempting to harm his family? Sah would have reacted in the same manner.

I think therefore I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

He would appreciate Sah's care and protectiveness more later, when his emotions were a little less raw and he was a little more sober. For now, he just let the comfort of a trusted friend push back against the shadows that lingered in the wake of Vox's unwelcome visit and the half-repressed memories that had been dragged back into the light. And while Sah's words weren't new - Alys had said the same - they were still good to hear. Maybe not so much now, but as time passed he would have them to look back on. It was just--

"I know it wasn't," he admitted, voice rough. "I know that. I dunno how close she was t'dyin' from whatever th'void monster had already done t'her. But she's dead now because I lashed out without lookin'. Because I didn't wait two seconds t'make sure o' my target." She wasn't the first person he'd killed, but she'd been the first who hadn't deserved it. The first one who hadn't attacked him first.

And there had been no one to bring her back and undo what he had done.

He rubbed roughly at his nose again, and finally lifted his head to meet his friend's gaze, at least briefly. "But... thanks, Sah. For... bein' here. An' listenin'."