[SE] a pointless resistance for you

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome,
But love the sweet air of the votives

Koa's first instinct had been to bolt home, grab Noe and their father, and haul ass out of there.

Cooler heads had prevailed. The memory of an infected Sunjata roared ugly in his mind; the last thing that the soldier needs is for spirited sister to fly away before he can get her help. No, this will take a lighter touch, one steeped in subtlety and cleverness and other areas in which Koa decidedly does not excel. He's already spoken to Kimo - a conversation which, in keeping with tradition, began with curt tension, devolved into shouting, and then in an unusual turn of events culminated in determined, steely agreement. The elder Carpenter sent off to start packing up his workshop, it is now for Koa to hold up his end of the plan: convince Noe it's time to leave.

It's inarguably the shitter of their assigned tasks. So thanks for that, Dad.

Showered, shaved, and wearing clean clothes, Koa sits at the dining room table with a bottle of beer and his feet propped up - the picture of nonchalance. A second cold beer awaits his sister, bottle opener ready and waiting beside. And while it is taking all of the boy's self-control to keep from bouncing a leg or fidgeting with his shirt or just, y'know, screaming into the goddamn abyss, Koa's doing a remarkable job of appearing as cool as a gods-damned cucumber as he waits for Noe to get her ass home.

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone;
Engage with the pain as a motive

NOE

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

Of the things Noe was expecting to find when she returned home, Koa sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer was not one of them.

That wasn't to say she was upset; quite the contrary: Koa had been gone for ages, and she'd missed her brother more than she would ever admit to his face. So when she walked in to find him sitting at the table, she gave a glad squeal and threw herself happily into a hug before even giving him the chance to stand. "Koa!" she trilled. "Where have you been?"

Mika, given the choice between being squished against Koa and fleeing, chose the latter; she hovered nearby, hissing, her head weaving back and forth as she waited to give her own greeting. She might not know the dragoon well, given that she hadn't spent much time around him yet, but anyone beloved by Noe was a friend in her opinion.

Noe pulled out of her hug to take a step back, hands on her hips, and survey her brother. He appeared uninjured, at least, and that was something to appreciate, even if it had been gods-only-knew how long since they'd spent any real time together. Something about back-to-back assignments, if she remembered correctly from their last in-passing conversation. "Are you home for a while, or...?"

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome,
But love the sweet air of the votives

Ok, fuck propriety.

"NOPE!" Koa's half-risen when his sister slams into him, a starburst of pain as she hits his bruised shoulder sending them him briefly back in his chair. But it doesn't last long; within a breath he's fully risen, his arms wrapping around the girl and hauling her into the air. Relief courses through him like a swell of the ocean, reinforcing the flimsy dam he's constructed against his terror and dismay. He doesn't let her pull back from him, at least not away - he needs a second to compose himself, and to relish in the fact that she's okay. "Holy fuck I missed you," the Dragoon whispers, pressing his lips upon her crown and blinking away tears.

When she does draw back he's careful to make sure she's still within arms grasp. Copper eyes graze over her face, a thorough inspection beset with anxiety, as well as self-reproach. Had she been infected the last time he saw her? How had he missed it, all this time? A flutter of movement past her ear has Koa starting, body suddenly bowstring taut. Vox? Dahlia? His hand drops to his waist, instinctive-

-and then he realizes what he's seeing, and feels remarkably dumb. Really failing the whole don't-act-like-you're-scared-shitless thing, dude.

"Hello, who's this?" Wincing as his voice initially trembles, Koa extends a hand to the snake. Does Noe have a companion? How had he possibly missed that? Guilt claws harshly in Koa's throat as he forces a smile onto his face. Gods fucking damnit, he's messed up so many things. He can only hope it isn't too late to set at least sone of it right.

Noe's question has his lips twitching, teeth worrying the side of his mouth. How the hell is he supposed to do this? "Something sort of like that," he tells her, unable to meet her eyes. "I... need to talk to you about that, actually. Here, sit down. I'll open your beer." He's already grabbed the moist bottle, desperate to distract from his thundering heart. Nope, this is not going well.

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone;
Engage with the pain as a motive

NOE

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

Koa’s embrace was welcome, and Noe squealed again as he lifted her into the air. While she might normally have protested being hauled off her feet, she was so glad to see him home in one piece that she simply laughed at the sudden weightlessness. When she found her feet again and made to pull away, Koa just held her tighter for a moment, whispering against the top of her head in what sounded like a more emotional voice than she’d been prepared for. Suddenly concerned, she waited until he released her to take a step back, looking him over once more for signs of damage that she might have missed.

She was about to ask him what was wrong when he stiffened suddenly, and Noe tossed a glance over her shoulder with confusion to find… nothing. Nothing except for Mika, floating and hissing and generally waiting to make herself a nuisance. But before she could ask, Koa diverted her attention by reaching out a hand to the mata mata, who flitted towards him to investigate, flicking her tongue out as she twined around his fingers. ”Oh, that’s Mika!” Noe said, brimming with excitement to relay her news. ”I found her last season in the Celestine! Isn’t she precious?” As thought to prove her point, Mika flew back to her bonded and wrapped herself around the girl’s neck, poking her head out through waves of dark hair.

There was something off about Koa, though, something that had Noe tilting her head to one side. He couldn’t meet her eyes as he pulled out the dreaded I need to talk to you line, and Noe shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably. ”What’s wrong?” she asked, ignoring the beer and remaining on her feet. ”What happened? Is it dad?”

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome,
But love the sweet air of the votives

"Last season," Koa repeats, bemused, usually warm voice muted by a stab of guilt. But he rallies his best, putting on a genuine smile as the tiny winged snake flits between his fingertips. "Welcome to the family, Mika. Pip'll be thrilled to have another noodle to play with."

Noe does not accept the invitation, and Koa can feel his best-laid plans slip away like sand. Fuck, he's fucking all this up. "Nothing's wrong!" he's quick to assure her - a reassurance which is perhaps diminished by its suspicious speed. The young man forces himself to pause, to steady his breath, to smile. Shrugging off her refusal, Koa sinks down into his own seat. "I talked to dad earlier, actually, and you'll be very proud to know that we only spent like thirty percent of it shouting."

He waits for her another few seconds, taking a necessary sip of the beer. "But I - we were thinking- well, with all my assignments recently, maybe it's time to take some time off?" And here he's finally at an advantage, the eagerness of a golden retriever shining in his smile and eyes. "All of us. As a family. Get out of the city. Go on a trip. I was thinking King's End, the Climb... maybe Halo?" Not because of a certain hot spring that he tragically does not yet know was destroyed or anything.

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone;
Engage with the pain as a motive

NOE

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

As Koa reassured her, Noe felt herself relax, and she slid into her chair and accepted the beer as Koa smiled and touted his successful (?) conversation with their father. ”So proud,” she grinned, mimicking Koa and taking a swig of her drink. Hi next words, however, had Noe raising her brows. Koa and their father had talked. Had agreed on something. And that something was a family vacation?

”Sooo let me get this straight. You finally get time off, and you want to spend it… with dad?” she asked, confused by this turn of events. Kimo and Koe had never really gotten along, and the thought of going on a family vacation with what was sure to be an awkward family dynamic sounded less than appealing. ”It couldn’t have just been the two of us?” she joked.

Then she really considered. She’d just started her own business, and it seemed ill advised to take time away so soon after its inception. But this was Koa, and he’d been away so often recently. Noe sucked on the inside of her cheek, thinking. Maybe if it had been Torchline, which she was quite fond of, she’d be quicker to jump on the opportunity. But King’s End? The Climb? Halo?

”What is there even to do in any of those places?” she asked, pouting. ”What kind of family vacay are you trying to set us up for?”

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome,
But love the sweet air of the votives

"Dad and you," Koa counters, though there's a wince behind his smile. "The old man deserves a vacation, too." He waves off Noe's further protest, because it's easier than trying to explain that actually we both agreed because it seemed like the best way to get you out of Stormbreak and into away from your new Familial besties. If his experience with Everest and Sunjata has taught Koa anything, it's that once someone's a Friend of the Family, any word spoken against that Eldritch mafia outfit group will only be met by violet disbelief.

The ensuing silence is not reassuring, and Koa has to work very hard to keep from springing up and pacing around - or throwing Noe over his shoulder and running out. But when she finally responds it's not a no, and the Dragoon can feel his body relaxing as a sliver of hope blooms in his chest. "Well, Kings End has unicorns, which I'm told are neat?" He shrugs, screwing up his brows as though to agree yeah ok maybe not that cool.

"But the Climb has those crazy caves full of crystals and shit, and I thought you and dad could find some really cool materials for projects there." It's a carefully rehearsed bit of bait, decided upon with Kimo's aid. "I figure we take a skyship to Halo, grab some supplies, maybe spend a couple days enjoying their hot springs-" casually, not like it's the entire point of the trip "-then go do a proper exploration of the Climb."

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone;
Engage with the pain as a motive

NOE

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

Noe sipped at her beer, still trying to place why Koa would invite their dad to go anywhere, what the sudden desire for a vacation was stemming from, and when he’d had time to plan out an entire vacation. She wasn’t opposed to the idea - quite the opposite, in fact - but she had responsibilities in Stormbreak now, and to just ditch them to essentially play hookey… well, maybe she’d grown up more than she’d thought, because that didn’t quite appeal to her in the same way it might have done once upon a time.

”Unicorns,” Noe repeated, laughing at the decided look of regret on Koa’s face the moment the words were out of his mouth. ”What are we going to do, ride them?” On second thought, maybe Koa hadn’t had time to plan a vacation, not if this was his best idea. She rather thought that she might be able to add something to his plans that would make them a little more… fun.

But then he said hot springs, and Noe perked up. ”Oh, Halo has hot springs?” she asked, grasping onto the idea of spending her days lounging around a warm pool and deciding that that sounded like it might actually be enjoyable. ”Gotta admit, it’s sounding more and more like a vacation the longer you talk.”

Noe paused, taking another drink, then set her bottle down and drummed her nails against it in thought. ”You know what? What the hell - it’s been ages since we did anything fun. Let’s do it.” She flashed a grin at her brother. Anything if it meant she got to see him for longer than five minutes. Maybe they’d have a chance to actually catch up.

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome,
But love the sweet air of the votives

She's excited about the hot springs. Koa resists the urge to let out a whoop! of triumph, settling instead for rocking excitedly in his chair. "Hell yeah they do! I haven't been yet either, but I've had some friends who went and they came back totally changed." As in no longer sporting a sickly purple tinge to their usernames souls. True, he hasn't checked in with Sunjata to ensure that the cure works. But given the number of known options they have (one), he's willing to go all-in.

"Let's do it!" Koa echoes, profoundly relieved. He's feeling significantly more at ease now, with a clearly charted course of action toward at least one thing going right. Sitting back in his chair, he heaves a relieved sigh. "This'll be great," he chatters on, a genuine smile easing some of the lines between his brows. "We'll go to Halo, hit the hot springs, and before the week's out you'll be back to yourself." He raises his bottle in a cheers before downing the last of the beer.

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone;
Engage with the pain as a motive

NOE

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

"Those must be some hot springs," said Noe, grinning to see her brother in such high spirits. Truth be told, she'd have agreed to the trip even more quickly if she'd known that doing so would seem to take such a weight off his shoulders. This Koa was an entirely different man than the one she'd entered the house to find.

The girl kicked her feet up onto an empty chair, crossing one arm over her chest as she nabbed her beer with the other. She sipped at the drink as Koa rambled on, pleased to see him so genuinely excited and beginning to imagine that this family vacation of theirs might actually be fun. She was so wrapped up in listening and planning that she almost missed his last sentence - and it took her a moment, but when her mind caught up with the conversation, she paused, brows furrowing in confusion, and tilted her head at Koa.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, something like hurt appearing in her expression. Sure, maybe she hadn't been entirely herself lately - she'd been a little down around her birthday, but only because she'd been spending it alone - and maybe she'd been busy, what with starting a business, but Koa hadn't even been here to see the changes. How would be know what she was like these days, when he could barely even be bothered to check in between assignments?

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome,
But love the sweet air of the votives

He doesn't realize he's fucked up until the notes of pain infiltrate her voice, and even then it takes a moment for Koa to pinpoint his mistake. When he does, though, it nearly has him slamming his head on the table, a clawing panic squirming tauntingly against the base of his spine. Fuck fuck fuck. A circus of emotions flash across Koa's face - confusion, discomfiture, a blink of panic. But the Dragoon is good at improvising, and it isn't more than a couple seconds before he schools himself.

Koa's mouth forms a straight line; he forces guilt into his eyes. "C'mon, Noe - you know what I mean. I know you've been working super hard and you're so amazingly grown up and I couldn't be more proud, but I also know how much that can take out of someone. Especially with me being gone so much, and you having to look after Dad..." He bows his head, rubbing his neck and hoping he's selling this well enough.

"None of us are the same as we used to be, Nope. And I can't even remember the last time we took a family vacation. Not since... well, since Mom." There you go. Invoke your dead mother. There's no real argument to be made against that.

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone;
Engage with the pain as a motive

NOE

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

Emotions flashed across Koa’s face too fast for Noe to follow, and she was left to gaze at him, hurt and confused, as he looked back at her guiltily. His ensuing explanation felt off, somehow - she still couldn’t shake that he hadn’t even been here to see how much these things had taken their toll on her, and yet he was so quick to assume that they had. So at first she scoffed, turning her nose up at his explanation and opening her mouth to argue -

And then he brought up Mom.

The fight went out of Noe, knowing how much it cost him; he’d always been closer to their mother, and sometimes she thought he just avoided thinking about her to prevent the pain that it always seemed to bring up. Her voice was gentler than it might have been when she said, ”Yeah, I mean, it’s been a while.” She paused, seeming to think, then forced a grin that she hoped was more nonchalant than she felt. ”Fine, you’ve talked me into it. Family vacation, it is. Yay.” She held up her hands in the air in a display of spirit fingers. ”Just promise you won’t run off once we get there, yeah?”

fin

The slowest way is never loving them enough