bad turns to worse and the worse turns into hell

So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core

The pain was all-consuming.

The Luminary was dimly aware that the battle was over, but she couldn't seem to bring herself to move. She'd fallen to her knees on the cobblestone street, eyes wide and unseeing as she gasped for breath that wouldn't come. Tarak was gone. The bond was in tatters, the brilliant tether that had once tied her to her griffin fluttering emptily in the depths of her soul.

She stared at the Void dragon's corpse, as though if she looked at it hard enough, Tarak would pop out from its massive jaws and begin to preen his beautiful blue feathers, unbothered by his untimely demise. But the dragon's maw didn't move, and Tarak didn't appear, and, gods, she didn't even have anything left of him to bury.

She didn't know how to exist without him.

She couldn't even breathe.

Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

Sohalia

KOA

It's over.

It's just begun.

It ends with both a bang and a whimper, the demigods once again making quick work of their foe. Koa cheers while clutching his chest, the huge bruise blooming under his moth scale shirt a small price to pay for this resounding success. "We did it!" he whoops, laughing, wincing, turning with a grin that pushes his cheeks up so high they nearly swallow his eyes. "Holy fuck, Soh, we---"

But his voice dies in his throat, as he takes the Luminary in, her eyes wide, her breathing ragged, a pain he cannot account for cast like blood over her face. "Soh?!" Koa asks, dropping to his knees beside her, the bruise in his chest burning as shockwaves ricochet through damaged skin. Heedless of his injury, he claps her face between his hands, searching for any signs of wounds, something to account for this "Soh, are you--?" the boy begins asking.

Then a mournful keening interrupts him, the cry of loss from Pipsqueak's small lungs vibrating through him as realization rips its way through the bond. Koa's eyes widen, aghast and horrified. "Tarak," he whispers, looking in Sohalia's broken face for the confirmation he does not need. "Oh Gods. Soh. Soh" Tears spring into his eyes as he pulls her into a fierce embrace, as though to shield her from the horrors of a world that simply won't let them win.

Let me go, I don't wanna be your hero
I don't wanna be a big man
Just wanna fight with everyone else

Code stolen from Queen Sky

So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core

She should have been happy. She should have been celebrating.

Get up, she told herself, staring at her clenched hands braced upon the cobblestones. They were all that were holding her up now, but she couldn't quite force her body to cooperate with what her mind was telling her to do.

Suddenly, Koa was there, cupping her face in his hands, and she wanted to tell him, wanted to say something, but she couldn't force out the words. He was saying something, but it was muffled, far away, as though she were underwater. She took a shaky, gasping breath, and became aware that she was choking on her own sobs, hyperventilating right there on the pavement with Tarak's blood on her hands.

Koa was holding her, but even that wasn't enough to piece her back together. She clung to him fiercely, feeling too much and too little all at once - loss, keen and sharp, cutting deeper with each breath, contrasted with a numbness that spread through her limbs, leaving her helpless to do anything other than remember. A gaping maw, gouging teeth, all clicking shut around her companion -

"I can't -" she gasped out. "Koa, I can't breathe -"

Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

Sohalia

KOA

Her body rattles in his arms like dry bones in the wind, the sobs that wrack her fierce and frightening in their intensity. He can feel her fingers digging into his back, feel dampness blooming over his chest as her tears flow freely into his shirt, but Koa doesn't move. There is no power on earth that could make him release her, keep him from holding Sohalia together as her world continues to fall apart.

"I know," he murmurs in a soothing voice that's nearly choked by his own grief. "I know." He doesn't, of course, not really, not in any meaningful way, but he's at a loss for what more to say, has no idea how he can possibly begin to make this better.

"I've got you. I'm here." Shifting his weight to better support them both, Koa rubs gentle circles over Sohalia's back. "One breath at a time, okay? Slowly. In and out."

Let me go, I don't wanna be your hero
I don't wanna be a big man
Just wanna fight with everyone else

Code stolen from Queen Sky

So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core

It was too much and not enough all at once. Soh thought she might die under the crushing weight of her guilt or the sharp, tearing pain of her heart being ripped from her chest. It was all her fault. If not for her, Tarak would still be here, still be alive, still be with her -

But just like so many who'd come before him, he was gone now. And there was nothing she could do about it save for scream and cry and rage against the injustice of it all.

Maybe she was cursed.

Her thoughts scrambling, she was barely aware of Koa's soothing circles upon her back, of the gentle instructions to breathe. But she tried - gods, how she tried - sucking in air and exhaling in shaking, sobbing breaths that did very little to calm her racing heart or soothe her dizzy thoughts. A part of her rebelled against the idea of calming down. She wanted to hurt. She deserved to hurt.

She should be dead instead of Tarak.

But she breathed - in, out; shaky and too fast - doing her best to focus on Koa and on his soothing words. If death wasn't here to claim her, then she needed to calm down before a lack of air had her passing out in his arms, which would do no one any good. She needed to calm down because it's what Tarak would have wanted, what he would have forced upon her - and it was that, more than anything, that had the Luminary breathing, her shaking slowly giving way to trembling. 

"He's gone," she choked out in a whimper, her face still buried in Koa's chest. "How can he be gone?" It felt impossible, and yet here she was, their bond in tatters as she fell apart without her companion's preening presence. "I never should have brought him."

Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

Sohalia

KOA

Would it be better if he could read her thoughts? Probably not- to know how Soh feels in this moment might be too much for Koa to bear, and would certainly be more than he could handle, well meaning himbo that he is. No, it's more than enough for him to be focused on the here and now, on the circles he rubs over her back and the slow steadying of her ragged breathing as she listens to his words. "That's good. Keep going. In..." he takes a deep breath with her, illustrating, guiding the best he can, "...and out."

Koa swallows at the ache in Sohalia's voice, forcing himself to harden against it because one of them needs to keep from falling entirely apart. "I'm so sorry, Soh," he murmurs into her hair, feeling utterly useless and hating it. Somewhere nearby Pipsqueak trills: the little dragon has descended from the sky, and now she crawls her way toward Sohalia, eyes baleful and body low in an attempt to seem less threatening than usual. The dragonling pushes her head into the Luminary's side, a rumbling quasi-purr vibrating through her lush coat. Like Koa, she has nothing to offer except herself, a poor facsimile for the part of Soh's soul that's been cruelly ripped away.

Glancing at the corpse of the dragon and damage that surrounds them, Koa swallows. "We shouldn't stay here. Let me take you home, okay?" If she agrees, Koa will scoop the Luminary into his arms, wincing at the dull ache in his injured chest. But he'll neither hesitate nor falter as he cradles her close, walking the path through the empty streets back to his quiet, dusty house.

Let me go, I don't wanna be your hero
I don't wanna be a big man
Just wanna fight with everyone else

Code stolen from Queen Sky

So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core

Soh followed Koa's lead, if only because it was the only thing that she could think to do. There was no more monster to fight, no more battle to wage - everything was done and over with in a bleak, final way that Soh couldn't quite wrap her mind around. So she felt him breathe in and attempted to match him. It was a shaky, painful breath, but she managed it.

Pipsqueak appeared, as though from thin air, and Sohalia reached out a shaking hand to pat the dragon's head. The little dragon was trying to help. Soh knew that. But gods if it didn't nearly tear her apart to see someone else's companion alive and well while hers was gone. She would never, ever want Koa to experience this kind of loss, but it hurt all the same.

At Koa's question, the Luminary nodded wordlessly, too overcome with emotion to get the words out. She withdrew her hand from Pip's head, looping her arms around Koa's neck as he lifted her gently out of the street and carried her away from the wreckage.

fin

Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

Sohalia