On Broken Wings
for Amalia
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#1
The fox walked.

His paws limped over the dark ground, stumbling over roots and undergrowth, heedless of brambles that caught at his fur, snarling and tearing at the silky coat. His proud brush dragged against the dry dirt, the pride beaten from its usually-jaunty length. With dark eyes glazed and unseeing the fox walked, a cacophony of blame and doubt, guilt and fear yammering in his ears, gleeful vultures finally come to pick at the carcass of his wounded psyche, no longer held at bay by stubborn will and desperate need.

He could not afford to fall apart. He could never afford to fall apart. He was the strong one, the proud one, the tough one, fierce words and sharp smiles and sharper-toothed magic dancing on his tongue, coaxing and cajoling and supporting those who needed him--

He had failed them. When they had needed him, he had not found the right words. When they had slipped he had not caught them, not strong enough, not wise enough, not enough, in the end. Not ever enough.

And in the end, his failure had been the death of them.

And it was happening again. Again, again, again he had not found the right words, had been honest when he should have been sly, had been weak when he should have been strong, had failed to find the answers and he would hurt, yes, but in the end it wouldn't be him paying the price, would it? Always, always it fell to those he cared for to pay it for him.

A human problem, a human failing, and they would twist him into a human mold if it killed him, because he was not human, and perhaps there was only one being in all the world who understood that. Or at least... tried to. As he had tried to use human tools and human knowledge and he had come up empty-handed from the books and the limits of what humans here had known. He had spoken with the oldest and most powerful Fae he knew of... and her hands had been empty as well.

And where did that leave him now?

The fox had not realized when he had stopped moving, stumbling into the side of a half-rotted stump and sinking down against it. Soft, panted whines escaped his swollen throat, tongue lolling as he curled himself into as small a ball of misery as a fox could get as he shivered and tore viciously at his own mind, sinking further into a spiral of despair and condemnation he had lost the strength to fight against.
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Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#2

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


The fox is not alone for long.

Perhaps it is random fortune, perhaps intention on the gryphon's part: either way, Amalia recognizes Isuma right away, her white form easy for the girl to distinguish among the black dust that surrounds the ruined Spire. She is here in search of answers, as always, scoping out the track for their upcoming descent, the venture in to rescue all that may remain beneath. But there is something in the gryphlet's earnest and frantic chirping which draws her away from her studious task, concern lacing her brows together, a sudden fear tightening in her chest.

Jigano?

She follows Isuma: what else is she to do? With steadily mounting anxiety the girl pursues the frantic chick, Jyoti a starlit flood in their wake, cooing a soothing song to her friend. When they breach the trees Amalia stops, her dark eyes searching for the familiar shock of white hair, the figure of the bard she holds so dear. "Jigano?" she calls softly into the shadows, concern raising leopard fur upon her neck.

Stepping carefully among the grass, she almost misses his coiled form. It is only Isuma's frantic peeping which draws her eyes to the snowy fox, a sharp inhalation on her lips at the sight of him, coiled and curled in obvious despair.

Falling to her knees, the baker reaches out to run a hand gently over his back, concern and heartache and a protective fear blooming in her breast. "Jigano, what happened?" A million scenarios stumble through her mind (Are you hurt? Is it Rory?), but her dulcet voice stays almost calm, a soothing alto in the summer air. Again she moves to stroke his spine, concern coming off of her in waves. "It's going to be okay," she promises, ardent despite not knowing what is wrong, as much for herself as the silver fox. Whatever it is, it will be okay.

It has to be. She does not have room in her soul, for anything else to go wrong.

a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#3
In better days he would have heard Amalia's footsteps, smelled her scent, and sensed Isuma's worry through the bond that connected them, and taken comfort in their approach. This night, though, the fox heard and sensed only his own demons, his skin barely twitching as Amalia stepped close and stroked him, flinching from her touch as though he expected a blow.

He shivered again, one ear twitching as her reassurance finally broke through his despondent fugue, and he shifted his head enough to crack a dark eye open. Isuma huddled against the baker's leg, shivering from the waves of dark emotions coming from her companion, yearning to go to him but kept at bay by the self-loathing that coiled so thickly around his heart.

...Amalia...? came the tentative recognition, and he knew he should pull himself together, shake off the despair that had overcome him, and put on a strong face for the sister of his heart...

But it was not that easy, and his weakness, his failure to manage even that, cut him even deeper.

You... shouldn't be here, his thoughts stumbled, thick with a twisting sense of refreshed guilt and anger - anger directed at himself, vicious and more than half a decade deep, steeped in long habit and clung to with an irrational tenacity, believing he deserved this pain. Someone will worry...
Only simple tables without images or background colors when threading, please. It's much appreciated!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#4

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


If You shouldn't be here sets the hair of her neck on end, Someone will worry makes her nearly laugh, the outburst held back by the severity of his sadness, the deep well of his pain. Her fingers trace once more through his fur, a gentle wave of comfort coursing through their mental bond. "Let them worry," she replies lightly, shrugging her narrow shoulders. "I'm a big girl. I can spend my time where I want. And I want to spend it with you."

Shifting on the ground, she moves so she is sitting beside him, her legs pulled up and crossed beneath her, her back to the log he is hiding behind. The slender hand stays on his back unless he pulls away, the other one curling between Isuma's wings. It is half to comfort, half to seek, checking both for injuries, for outward wounds. The mystery of what has caused this torment still racks rife within her brain, makes her anxiety for her friend vibrate beneath her skin, held back only by the certainty that he needs her to be strong right now.

She lets the moment stretch and ease, offering silent comfort, biting lip and tongue. Seconds to minutes, and then at last a low murmur leaves her throat, alto hum measured, trying not to shake or pry or push while still hoping for an answer, something clear. "Will you tell me what happened?"

a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#5
He had never thought that he would welcome a telepathic bond with anyone, not with how hard he had worked for years to close his mind and heart to others for fear of having his thoughts stripped from him against his will by the agents of the Dark Tapestry and Unity’s minions. That had been before Rory and Amalia had entered his life, however, before he had begun learning to trust again, to let down his defenses willingly. Reaching out, though, asking for help… well, he had just had a harsh lesson in the mistakes of doing that so blindly, and of trusting so recklessly.

A lesson he had tried to pass on, only to be the one to fail the test when it had come down to it.

But through the Attuned bond Amalia could feel his anguish, his weariness, and the weakness that he had tried to hide for so long, almost always before plastered over with confident smiles and misdirecting laughter. Now he had no strength to maintain those illusions, or to flee the compassion that she slipped through his shattered shields. Nor had he the energy to deny what she said to him, that she wanted to stay with him in this dark, messy, ugly emotional storm that he had capsized in. Jigano might have let his demons convince him that he deserved to be alone, and his body still shivered beneath her touch, but he made no attempt to pull away from her – not from her touch, nor from the mental and emotional thread that connected them.

Isuma was less restrained, crawling into Amalia’s lap and cuddling into her touch. She was neither too proud nor too jaded to know when to ask for comfort, and she welcomed both the baker’s soothing pets and Jyoti’s calming presence with quiet, unself-conscious gratitude.

The silence was welcome in some ways, giving him a chance to accept Amalia’s presence by his side as he continued to silently wrestle with himself, even as further guilt joined the fray: that he was causing the leopardess distress by allowing himself to be seen like this. When it came, he almost missed her voice, and he hesitated to answer at first. He could barely pull coherent thoughts from his twisted emotions, much less words, but the bond betrayed him as a fraction of the unfiltered twist of guilt and pain slid between them. I am failing you, my Amalia. Have failed you… all of you, the ones I love. Just as I did before, he admitted, a low whimper in his fox’s throat.
Only simple tables without images or background colors when threading, please. It's much appreciated!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#6

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


Amalia feels his weariness, yes, but it does not appall her, does not lead her to find him any lesser than he is. She, took, knows what it is to carry a weight while standing tall, to wield the world upon her shoulders and never let them see her falter. How nice it would be to just once shrug, let the ponderous globe slip from her back and roll away to someone else's feet.

She will not let her burden drop, but she is happy to carry his, for a time.

"It's okay," she murmurs again, leaning back against the log, her dark eyes closing, affection pulsing through their bond. Long fingers continue to stroke his fur, looping and playing on the length of his spine, a soothing action her grandmother used to take when Amalia was young and afraid of the dark. As Isuma climbs into her lap the baker wraps her arm around her, pulling her closer against her chest; Jyoti, too, curls up upon her legs, offering starlit solace to her worried friend.

For a moment they rest there, silent and secure, and though she is still afraid for him she is comfortable, too, safe in the embrace of familial friendship. She lets him take his time replying, her hand never leaving his slender form. And when he does speak it is all she can do to not react, confusion and uncertainty splaying over her face, this strange exclamation not something she expected.

Pausing to recompose her thoughts, Amalia struggles a second to find the words to explain her bewilderment and disbelieving concern. "Why do you feel like that?" she asks at last, a frown knitting her brows, wondering what could have happened to cause such insecurity in his heart. "What happened, Jigano?"

a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#7
It was not okay, though later he would appreciate the quiet comfort she offered. In the moment, however, he shied away from her attempt to soothe him. The pride and ego that had been his armor had been stripped away, leaving him not only vulnerable but weak against the kindly lances of her words, and shame that anyone should see him like this - but especially Amalia - burned fresh poison in his veins. He was the older one, the wiser one. He was supposed to be her strength, a bastion for her to lean on. He knew, as only one who had surrendered to hopelessness could, that she would never be able to trust him to be her strength again, and the white fox shuddered beneath her hand and turned his narrow face away.

Her questions had no easy answers, no singular cause but instead many roots that snarled and twisted together. Isuma peeped softly, trying to encourage him from her nest in Amalia's lap, and the tip of a flattened ear twitched in response. Finally he drew a ragged breath, and the words that poured out from his thoughts were steeped in guilt and self-loathing. I could not protect you on Long Night, he said softly. Even though I know I wasn't... that we were being influenced... still, I hurt you and Rory, both, and you would have died for my stubbornness if Edy hadn't saved you. I wasn't there for Rory when he faced down Roana... or Maea, and nothing I did could stop the Spire's breach by Wessex and the Ascended with her. Safrin... she made it clear that it was the fault of humans... by extension that I was at fault for not stopping it. That the fault for the Blight in the Greatwood is therefore ours - mine - as well. He curled himself up more tightly again, eyes squeezed shut against the memory that played out in his mind where he couldn't escape it.

I tried, Amalia, I swear I did! I spoke to Arduinna of the Fae, I searched the books of the Atheneum for past diseases with Melinoe's help, but... but... it wasn't enough for her. I begged for her aid, and she turned her face away and I don't... I can't see the path forward anymore... What I am, what I was as an Oracle... the gods were my last hope.

He was pathetic, and he was aware enough of it that he cringed away from her touch, certain that she would rightfully lose patience with his self-pitying breakdown. And now I have let you down again, he finished sadly, a second faint whimper escaping his swollen throat. I never meant for you to see me like this, Ama. I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger for you... stronger for you all.
Only simple tables without images or background colors when threading, please. It's much appreciated!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#8

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


Amalia listens in empathetic silence, her fingers still playing along his fur, only pausing at certain moments, like when he attempts to blame himself for her fall at Long Night, or the Spire's breech. She knows what it is to feel guilt for such thing, had only recently gone to Safrin to express her own remorse. She remembers what the goddess said: that they are but mortals, single humans on a cosmic scale. It is not their actions that destroy the world. They are grains of sand in a tilting balance.

Amalia empathizes with Jigano because she shares all of the same guilt, the same fears, the same sense of responsibility for sins far more expansive than any she could commit. She has thought the same thoughts, felt the same weight: the only difference being that she cannot forgive herself. But she can forgive him, again and again and again. You did your best. We did our best.

All we can do is our best.


Looking up at the sky, Amalia tries to find the words to rebuild Jigano's crumbling world. "The blight, the Spire... it is the fault of humans." Amalia sighs, leaning back as Jigano pulls away from her, her fingers still resting near his fur in case he changes his mind. "But... my grandmother used to tell me that our lives are like paintings. We can either focus on the mistakes and flaws, or we can see how they come together to make the whole image." The girl had never really believed this, but as with all things, she tried.

"Do you remember when we met? It was right here, and I was too afraid to sing in front of you." A light laugh: where is that girl, too timid to give voice to a simple tune. "And now? We've written songs to Safrin. We've gone beyond the barrier. We summoned the Spark Bird and, yes, we almost died, but we still did it. We were brave.

"You've made me braver, Jigano. So how could you ever think you've let me down?"


a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#9
He did not protest her assertion; he knew that it was true, after all, and had never denied it, no matter what Safrin thought. Humans were at fault... but he still held stubbornly to the belief that they weren't the only ones at fault. There was more than enough blame to go around, but Safrin's cold denial of her involvement had shaken him badly, and he flinched at Amalia's words, even if not for the reasons she might guess.

Grandmother Chandrakant had been wise, and he appreciated her wisdom usually... at least, as far as it applied to other people. It was for others to see the wholeness of their pictures, the worthiness of their souls. He was far too aware of the red splashed across his canvas, however, knowing it was there no matter how desperately he tried to paint over it, and hide it from others. Isuma shivered in Amalia's lap, reacting to the way his despair seemed to coil and tighten around him with wicked tenacity, and the gryphlet tried to bury her face against the baker's stomach as if to hide.

It was her next words that forced him to listen, the laugh breaking through some of his fugue by how out of place it was in the darkness and guilt-stricken loneliness he had lost himself in. It was bright, and loving, and brave, and it proved more than words alone how sincere she was. It forced him to pause in his wallowing, and to really think about what she had said.

But... he tried, lapsing back into silence as he found no flaw in her logic. But... you and Rory deserve so much more than what I am, he said at last, with a soul-deep sincerity that echoed through the mental link as he tried to make her understand. What I did, before I was brought here... can never be forgiven. I am not the man you think I am. I only ever pretended to be him, because I thought... I thought... if I pretended long enough then the lie might become true.

I was wrong,
he ended, three simple words, spoken quietly in Amalia's mind but with a quiet sense of mourning for the illusion that had been shattered and the hope that died.
Only simple tables without images or background colors when threading, please. It's much appreciated!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#10

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


Her hands slink back over to his fur, hoping he will not draw away once more. There is a moment between her speech and his response where they are silent, thoughtful, mulling over one another through their mental bond. Amalia hopes he feels her fondness, the forgiveness he need not ask for, because he has done nothing to demand it, committed no crime.

When he does speak at last she opens her eyes in bright surprise, a bemused and somewhat indignant expression pulling together her brows. His statement is so much like Deimos' that she wants to laugh again, to shake her head and then shake him a little for being such a fool. Instead she simply shakes her head and reaches out with her other hand, planning to scoop him up if he'll let her, to place him with Isuma on her lap.

Black eyes look for the fox's blue, intent, starbright, endless and ardent. "Do you really think so little of us, that we would give our love to someone so unworthy?" There is fondness in the stare, of course, but a seriousness too; more channeling of her grandmother, an maturity not often seen from the girl. Do you think so little of people, that they would spend their time on those they despise?

Sighing, Amalia sets him down, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "I think Deimos has killed many people," she murmurs softly, trying to hide the tremble in her voice, to keep from betraying how much this knowledge bothers her. "Is it wrong of me to love him, because of the man he was?" Is it wrong for you to love me, when the person I was yesterday is so much less that the person I hope to be tomorrow?

a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#11
He might not deserve it, but he could feel her affection and support through the Attuned bond. There was no lie in it, no way to pretend to himself that it wasn't true, and even though he might have thought himself unworthy he also could not deny that it wrapped around and comforted him, even as he felt guilty for that comfort.

He was too surprised to protest when she scooped him into her lap, Isuma shifting over so she could cuddle against him as Amalia settled him into place. There was a warmth and a safety in being held when he was so small that had nothing to do with the heat of their bodies, and everything to do with the love in their hearts as the baker, the gryphon, and the starwhale held him close and refused to let him fall into the darkness any longer.

No, of course not, he protested faintly, avoiding her eyes. The opposite of that. I think your heart is big enough and strong enough to love many others... even if they're not... if they haven't... But his argument sounded weaker, certainty crumbling under the reminder that both she and Rory had found him worthy of love, and he trusted them even when he didn't trust himself. I think you are stronger and braver than I am, he said instead, softly. To love so much in spite of how much it can hurt.

When she set him down he curled into her lap instead of crawling away. Perhaps it was Jyoti's influence, or her patience, or Isuma's support. Most likely it was all three that had begun to wear away at the walls of his despair and reach past the jagged edges of his self-imposed misery, but he longer denied that he needed them, even if he still didn't feel as though he was deserving of the kindness and affection they showed him.

Of course not, he repeated, exhaling a small, foxy sigh. The heart will love who it chooses. Love isn't wrong... And there was the catch, wasn't it? If Deimos had lived a life as fraught with strife and shadows as his own, how could he extend compassion and another chance to the warrior and not to himself? Ah, but Deimos hadn't failed Amalia or the people of the Hollowed Grounds, had he? But even if the sins of my past world are not... even if they don't change your feelings for me, still I have failed you on this world. The judgment of a goddess... to have failed to move her heart... I do not know what I should do now, he admitted, sad and weary and lost in a night without stars.
Only simple tables without images or background colors when threading, please. It's much appreciated!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#12

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


He calls her strong and brave, and the girl smiles crookedly, not sure any of those adjectives apply. "More foolish, maybe." Young, naive inexperienced unaware- these are the words to describe the girl who throws herself headlong into every task, anxiety and brazenness a strange and unsettlingly mixture beneath her skin.

But Jigano is measured, purposeful, adept, older and wiser than the ardent girl. And though he thinks himself broken beyond repair, she admires him, respects him, sometimes finds him insufferably close to condescending, and loves him despite it all.

There it is again: failure. The word is acrid and familiar on her tongue, a stinging, ringing, discordant song she sings along with easily. If anyone has failed it is Amalia herself, again and again and again. Failed her family, old and new; failed her home, her world, her gods.

Biting back the unpleasantness, the girl sighs. It is a thought for later, when she is alone, a darkness to look at in secret and solitude. Now she must be strong and bright, shine light down on her devastated friend. "I do not think Safrin blames you for the blight." A little bit distant, a little amused. "I... I feel awful about it, too. But I don't think we've failed unless we give up. That's the only way you could fail me, Jigano. By giving up."

a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 28 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 30 - Endr: 30 - Luck: 30
ISUMA - Mythical - Gryphon (venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,172
MP:
#13
It is not foolish to love, he said, the words as much for himself as for her, a reminder of all that he had gained on Caido.

A reminder of all that he stood to lose.

Still, he might not think himself deserving of it, but her gentle words reminded him that he could not fault her for loving him. She was kind, and brave, and wise beyond her words, for all that she didn't realize it. That was what had made failing her hit him even harder, knowing that she would forgive him, that she would let him try again and again...

Try, and fail. But...

You did not see the way she looked at me, he said softly. With ice in her eyes, rather than starlight. He hesitated, then raised his head a little, not quite looking up at Amalia, but his ears weren't pressed quite as flat to his skull as he considered the rest of her words. I... I don't mean to give up. But I don't know what else to try. Dealing with the Blight and Zariah, and the Voice still out there... I am not what I used to be, he admitted, though it was a tale Amalia already knew the refrain of. What I can do against any of them, like I am now.
Only simple tables without images or background colors when threading, please. It's much appreciated!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Baker ☆ Loreseeker's Guild
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 10 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 27 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 28
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,321
MP:
#14

She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help


Amalia does not quite know what to say. How can she explain to Jigano that the thing he feels must be wrong, that Safrin is not ice but the brightest fire, white and blazing and radiance and love? Yet how can she tell her goddess - even mentally - that she has treated someone wrongly who only wanted to do good, that her perceived rejection has shattered the raven whose heart is never in the wrong place?

Sighing, the girl says nothing at all, simply lets him speak. She will be a baseboard for his anguish, a bastion for his pain. Long fingers continue to run across his fur; Jyoti sings the softest song, a soothing hymn for their devastated friend. She doesn't have an answer, a solution for his pain. She wishes she could take the burden on her shoulders, wield it and save him from the tragedy of life. "I don't know either," the girl admits, wishing there were something better to give him. "I've never known what to do. How to help. If I'm enough." It's her deepest secret, her darkest fear: that she will forever be inadequate, never measure up to the world. "But I keep trying to be better. To do the best I can. It's all we can do, I think."

a m a l i a
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine




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