My Favourite Ghost

Adam

Adam let it lie for a night, but he couldn't let talking to Peter again go forever. No matter how awkward it would be, no matter if Peter would fight - he couldn't not try more. Because no matter how much he wanted to push it down, he cared about the stupid scarred baby idiot and his fluffy black little head. He cared far more than he should, and so Adam headed out into the fields.

Peter could usually be found around here, either coming from Maea's farm or just...wandering, staring into space, looking depressed as he often did. They'd probably run into each other eventually, and while Adam had no real plan, he hoped he could find his friend before anything else escalated.

"Pet?" He yelled out at the edge of the field closest to Maea's farm, walking along the old stone walls. "Pet, it's Adam! C'mon, we gotta talk. Are y'there??"

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

It’s was honestly pure chance, and some bad luck on his part, that Peter was even in the fields that night. The conversation with Adam had left his head off centre, not to mention the kiss. Even now, Peters lips tingled and a nauseous but not feeling swirled in his stomach.

Peter had actually been retrieving the last few things he owned from Maea, figuring the finality of the action would make it easier to separate the after. He was a Launceleyn now, was part of a family, and he couldn’t dwell on things that might have been or things that were trying to be.

As Adams voice rang out over the fields, Peter was up a tree, sitting in its branches and staring out over the farmland. It would have been easy to just ignore Adam, let him walk by and not answer. Peter wasn’t the kind of person who could do that though.

He waited until Adam had passed by where he was lurking, then swung, hanging upside down from the branch behind Adam. ”I’m here.” He said softly, his face blank. ”I... I don’t wanna talk. You should... you should just go.”

PETER

They don't know you like I do
The little secrets that you keep
I'm gonna haunt your dreams at night
You'll have to hide those kitchen knives

Adam

The voice suddenly behind him made Adam freeze, but he tried to play it off as he turned round, pushing a 'casual' hand through his hair. He smiled when he saw Pet hanging upside down from the tree, though the smile quickly faded when he was told to leave.

"Aw, c'mon. You know I'm not gonna hurt you or anything." He stepped closer, then turned to the trunk of the tree. "Is it cool up there?" He looked up into the branches then began to try and climb, pushing his boot toe into different crevices to see where he could push himself up. Finally he found one, and aided by his height, began to climb up.

"Why--" He asked, as he climbed. "--Are you so against just talking about stuff? Is this something that the uh...Lance...Laun....Lalalus are teaching you?"

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

Peter pulled himself back up into the tree when he saw Adams smile, not wanting to see the reaction to his words. He had assumed his words would have no affect on the other man though, Adam seemed to excel at finding ways to surprise him while being completely preditable. Absently, Peter wondered if he just liked being contrary, though a part of him knew that wasn’t what this was.

Now if only Peter could figure out what this was.

”I might hurt you.” Peter said as he climbed higher. The words weren’t a lie, he didn’t have the skill for it, but they werent a threat either. Just a simple statement. He didn’t want to, but if circumstances changed, then he might not have a choice.

Keeping just above Adam, Peter finally settled near the top of the tree, and stared down at the other man. Why didn’t he want to talk? ”You... you make everything... confusing. It’s... supposed to be... to be easy. And things here... this is the... best I’ve ever had.” Hwre, Peter had a family, had security and safety and maybe something closwnto contentment. It’s still hard work, but it’s some of the easiest hard work he’s had to do.

PETER

They don't know you like I do
The little secrets that you keep
I'm gonna haunt your dreams at night
You'll have to hide those kitchen knives

Adam

"You might." Adam agreed, tilting his head. "But I think you won't." It was instinct, and his instincts had been wrong before; but he felt that Peter wouldn't harm him if it came to it. They were both strangers to this world, dropped into it at a similar time, struggling to find their way through.

He heaved himself up to sit on a low branch, leaning back onto the truck of the tree and looking through the leaves at Peter. "Confusing, huh? I like that." Adam laughed. "What do I make confusing, though? All I'm doing is telling you what I think. If it's confusing you, does that mean you know I'm kinda right? Or..."

He grinned and shrugged his shoulder to let his shirt fall off it just a little. "Is it because I'm hot and you don't know what to do with that?"

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

If Peter wanted to keep arguing in circles, he would have said it didn’t matter whether Adam thought he was going to be hurt or not. There had never been an order he’d refused, even if it put him in danger. Even if it made him feel sick. One person wasn’t enough to undo a life of conditioning.

”I don’t like it.” Peter retorted sharply, leaning forward on the branch and frowning down at Adam. He was lounged in the tree like he belonged there, like this was second nature. ”Things are... they’re simple, and you—“

Whatever point Peter had been about to make fell silent, his eyes following the slide of Adams shirt sleeve. His blue gaze moved over the newly exposed skin, Peters mouth still open, before he closed his eyes and sat up again, as if the extra inches of distance between them would get Adam out of his head. ”It’s not that!” Peter hissed, turning to look out over the horizon. ”I don’t... this is why... why I didn’t wanna talk. You... make things like this.”

PETER

They don't know you like I do
The little secrets that you keep
I'm gonna haunt your dreams at night
You'll have to hide those kitchen knives

Adam

Things are simple, Peter insisted, and Adam nearly snorted a laugh at how blatantly wrong the statement was. He held back just about, but...simple? Teleported forcefully into another world, one with magic and Gods and shapeshifters, in the middle of a culture war between groups he'd not known months prior? It was anything but simple. And he knew Peter knew that too.

One of them dealt with these things by leaning into them, accepting the chaos with a bottle of liquor. The other would rather pretend they weren't happening. Really, he couldn't say Peter's way was any worse than his.

He did laugh when Peter's eyes obviously trailed along his skin then it was yelled that that wasn't the issue. It clearly was at least a part of it. "Okay, look. No more sexy stuff then, unless you want it. But Pet--" The nickname dropped off his tongue without thought. "--You said hello to me. You yelled. That means a part of you does wanna talk to me, right? Why? I think that as much as you like having orders, and hey, look, I like them in some contexts, I get it...I think you know that Zariah is a fucking dodgy master to have."

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

Adams laughter brought a bright red flush to Peters ears, his gaze still stubbornly focused away from the other man. From the situation as a whole honestly. This would be so much easier if Adam could just drop it, and they could talk about something else. Something simple.

”Why do you... why do you call me that?” It wasn’t that the nickname had fallen on deaf ears before, but Peter had been willing to overlook it because of how Adam said it. Now, when he was frustrated, it was harder to swallow. It was a straw that he was grasping at though, another half complaint Peter could use to keep dancing around the real topic.

The talk of Zariah was what broke his back, Peter dropping through the branches and stepping close so he could whisper in Adams face. ”Don’t say that.” Though he was clearly trying to be intimidating, the effect was ruined by the tremor of fear in his voice. There were ears everywhere, and he didn’t need this conversation to be heard. ”She’s good. Just... listen, and do your jobs, and things go... they go nice.” What was so hard to grasp about this?

PETER

They don't know you like I do
The little secrets that you keep
I'm gonna haunt your dreams at night
You'll have to hide those kitchen knives

Adam

"Uh...I guess it's just kinda natural. It's a shorter version of your name." He shrugged, not having thought about it. Simply, Peter just didn't really seem like a 'Pete', and Adam rarely called people by their full names unless he had no other option.

Adam grinned almost deliriously as Peter dropped down, a thrill going through him at the knowledge he'd broken the other man's stubbornness. He'd found out what made Peter tick, and he thought he could help. By breaking his walls down. Aggressively. It was not the most compassionate plan, but he had good intentions, and in the end that was what mattered.

...Right?

"Pet...lemme tell you a story, okay?" Adam sat back, patted Peter's shoulder. "Where I'm from, there's this city called Sainen. It's a big place, really fucking rough. Lots of criminal types. Anyway, there's a lot of these gang bosses there. Guys who've just started out usually end up working for them. And like you said, at first, as long as you're good and do what you're told, you're fine!" Adam's voice was falsely saccharine, his hands making the motion of a rainbow.

"But then, all of a sudden, you realise you're fifty gold in debt, and you can't leave cos you owe the boss, and a guys betrayed the gang, so you gotta kill him. So you grit your teeth and do it, but now you're the guy that kills people, right? So the boss asks you to do it again. And again. And eventually it's easy, til one day you look in the mirror and you think 'fuck, I'm a fucking monster.' Then..you know what comes then, Pet?"

He leaned forward. "There was a river in Sainen. We used to call it the Stepping Stones, because the backs of the people who drowned themselves in it floated to the top. Looked like you could walk over them. I'm sure looking at you you know some of this. Do you really wanna go back into it?"

It didn't matter, for the sake of his argument, that everything except the city name was made up.

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

As Adams hand came down on his shoulder, Peter stiffened, and turned just enough to stare at it, his face sour. Not that whatever was bothering him about it was enough to make him actually pull away, especially not once Adam started his ‘story’. Even the sour face didn’t make it past the city name, surprise and then suspicion darkening his eyes in quick succession.

There was a moment, after Adam was finished, where Pet was silent, chewing his lip and considering what he wanted to say. How could he explain that he had never known anything but being that monster, that the role fit him like a wellworn glove? It was what he did, what he had been taught to do, and what he was would, and almost had, die doing.

But, on the other hand, there was a burning curiosity in Peter. How did Adam know about his city? About the river? Bodies might not float on it like he said, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t where the dead found themselves, whatever their causes.

Sighing through his nose, Peter looked up as if he was searching Adams face, then spoke. ”I will do... I will do what I’m told to. Like I always have. It’s not... going back if I... if I never leave.” Despite his attempt at disinterest, Peter is uncomfortable. He had had a taste of freedom, living with Maea and spending time with adam, and it had been delicious. Foreign, and terrifying, and new. But the new wasn’t enough to tempt him away from the known, not when the known was beaten so deeply into his core, so he shrugged, and moved on.

To the far more important question that had arisen. ”How do you know Sainen? I... I haven’t...” Peter trailed off, suspicion in his eyes. He didn’t want to reveal how he knew it, in case it was just a... coincidence, or a fluke. Not that he thought it was, it was too strange to be anything like that.

PETER

They don't know you like I do
The little secrets that you keep
I'm gonna haunt your dreams at night
You'll have to hide those kitchen knives

Adam

Peter insisted yet again he would keep doing what he was, but Adam had seen the flash of doubt in his eyes. The crack in the armour; it was all he needed to start. He had never been quite so determined to do anything as to get Peter out of the Launceleyn grasp, wanting to complete this little act of rebellion against what seemed to be the rising powers-that-were.

"You know you can change your life at any moment, right? I've been all sortsa things. I worked in a brothel, I stole shit, I tried to be an assassin, I was a highwayman, but I dealt in uh...plants on the side. You can decide any day to not be who you were before." He shrugged as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

He frowned at the question, not expecting it and confused. "What do you mean? I told you, it was a city back where I came from. It was next to where I got married, a bigger place, the capital, Akkarain. You know, in Nuwa, the country in my world...? Before this...?" He had probably massively over-explained, but he didn't understand the source of Peter's suspicions.

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

"Change isn't... its not easy like that. I don't... I'm not allowed to decide Adam." The more he argued against, the more it did seem tempting. Terrifying, but tempting. Would it make him like Adam, to choose his own path? Peter's brows furrowed as he looked over the other man again, his teeth worrying into his lip. But... he had been so lost when he'd first arrived, directionless and wanting. Even if he did turn his back on the order he had, there would be something else to come up that he would follow.

Peter frowned back at Adam, his back straightening as he leaned away. "No. No, Sainen is... it's where I lived. And Akkarain, but its not... not a capital. Not of Nuwa." He took a step back, balancing on the branch and crossing his arms. The more Adam had said, the more suspicious the whole thing seemed. Suddenly, everything the other man had said, everything he'd done --the kiss-- was thrown into this confusion.

"What do you want from me?" Peter asked, his voice cold and lifeless. Whatever progress Adam might had made was immediately thrown away, this one coincidence (it wasn't a coincidence, couldn't be) overwriting whatever doubts Peter might have had with swirling delusions of Adam's ulterior motives.

PETER

They don't know you like I do
The little secrets that you keep
I'm gonna haunt your dreams at night
You'll have to hide those kitchen knives

Adam

"Seems like a boring way to live." Adam commented with a shrug. He had always simply had as an instinct the desire to kick out against authority, the need to buck trends and prove that he was special.

Sainen is...where I lived.

He frowned. There was a chance it was a coincidence, of course, but not when Peter also knew Akkarain, Nuwa...it was beginning to feel less and less like one. Was it possible they were from the same world? He didn't recognise his country in any of the descriptions of Peter's home, but there couldn't be that many places that shared all the same names, right...?

This confusion was added to another as Peter suddenly seemed to go cold. He hadn't exactly been warm before, but now there was a definite, even dangerous, edge to his voice. "...Want..? I've told you the whole time, Pet, I want you to not be in a weird cult. I want to be your friend. Shit, I wanna make out, if you want the whole truth. Uh...I know it's kinda weird we both know Sainen, but that's just...where I'm from. Well. I wasn't born there. I was born in some pigshit farm village up in the mountains, but that's..." He shrugged and shook his head, having lost his thread of thought.

"You've never said Nuwa to me before, right? So how would I know it unless I was from there too?"

At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining

Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame

Adam repeated his reasons again, with no deviation from what he’d said before, what he’d been saying the whole time. And Peter wanted to believe him. He really, truly did. And as the others mean explained more, it became easy to let go of his momentary suspicion, the panic that had come with it. Instead, confusion rushed in to fill the void that had been left, Peters face still hard, but now cocked to the side.

”I never... I haven’t told anyone.” Peter sighed, unable to keep up his stiffness. ”The mountains are to the south. I... I was born there too.” Memories now too hazy to ever fully recall drifted through his mind, a torrent of dark terror trying to rush in behind them, but he was well versed with clamping that down by now. ”What does... I mean, it... why?”

All at once, Peter dropped to a sitting position, so quickly and precariously it seemed he might topple straight off the branch. He held his chin in his hands and stared at the bark of the tree, obviously trying to work things out in his head. ”Do... do you know...” Peter stopped himself, narrowing his eyes at the other man. ”What else do you know?”

PET

he is trying to tell you that there is some sort of shining star now buried deep inside him and he has to dig it out with a knife.